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Author | Topic: Humour VIII | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
dwise1 Member Posts: 5949 Joined: Member Rating: 5.3
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Not a joke, but rather a conversation a few decades ago.
At Hughes Aircraft, I shared my office with a Jewish bachelor. Every Thanksgiving, the company would give us a coupon for a frozen turkey at a major grocery chain. When we received our coupons, he remarked that he was going to give his turkey to his mother to cook for Passover dinner. I remarked that I had never heard of turkey for Passover. He said, "Everybody has turkey for Passover. What do you have for Passover?" I thought for a moment and answered, "Ham." He looked puzzled for a few seconds and then realized, "Oh, yeah."
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ringo Member (Idle past 438 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
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It should be Jesus holding up the stone with one hand and taking a selfie with the other.
And our geese will blot out the sun.
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dwise1 Member Posts: 5949 Joined: Member Rating: 5.3
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And falling down the well he doesn't see because he's walking distracted.
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Theodoric Member Posts: 9197 From: Northwest, WI, USA Joined: Member Rating: 3.2 |
Always amazed how confident Christians are that they personally have some sort of insight and everyone else is wrong. Pretty much goes against the premise of your religion and it exposes the hubris inherent in your beliefs.
Facts don't lie or have an agenda. Facts are just facts "God did it" is not an argument. It is an excuse for intellectual laziness. If your viewpoint has merits and facts to back it up why would you have to lie?
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Phat Member Posts: 18335 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.0
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Actually, I agree. I find myself becoming aware of my own arrogance and hubris at times and must fight to dampen it. I find that serving others humbles me. Its a lifelong process.
Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. ~RC Sproul "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain " ~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith You can "get answers" by watching the ducks. That doesn't mean the answers are coming from them.~Ringo
Subjectivism may very well undermine Christianity.In the same way that "allowing people to choose what they want to be when they grow up" undermines communism.~Stile
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Phat Member Posts: 18335 From: Denver,Colorado USA Joined: Member Rating: 1.0 |
Keep in mind, however, that if you are blind you can see and if you claim to see you are actually blind. Or something like that.
Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. ~RC Sproul "A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain " ~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith You can "get answers" by watching the ducks. That doesn't mean the answers are coming from them.~Ringo
Subjectivism may very well undermine Christianity.In the same way that "allowing people to choose what they want to be when they grow up" undermines communism.~Stile
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Heathen Member (Idle past 1309 days) Posts: 1067 From: Brizzle Joined:
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Jesus respawns, activates God mode
Jesus Christ, Lord and Saviour of Mankind, has respawned after getting crucifragged on Friday. Blaming the three-day wait on serious lag caused by a Virgin account, Jesus is understood to have spent three days of Hell in the lobby waiting to reconnect. Christ described his connection speed as ”so slow I may as well having been riding on a donkey’. Members of Christ’s guild, The Disciples, are delighted by His return as they face defeat without their healer, although it is understood that Judas Iscariot has already ragequit and deleted his account for unknown reasons. Jesus has promised to carry the whole team, and the entire server, saying that “When you could see only one digital footprint, that was when I was carrying you.” Jesus’ involvement in the world has been mired in controversy since he joined. Readers may remember King Herod engaged in ”aggressive spawn point camping’ when He first joined resulting in the deaths of thousands of noobs. Critics of Christ say his success is down to using backdoor exploits built into creation, and accused him of multiaccounting. “He’s playing three characters on one account,” said Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies. “Father, Son and Holy Ghost as one player. How can that be fair? “I hoped the banhammer they used to knock the nails in would be permanent, and I’m very concerned about favouritism and nepotism from the mods now to say the least.” Christ has responded to the allegations by getting out his BFG - Big Fucking Gospel. Edited by Heathen, : No reason given. Edited by Heathen, : No reason given.
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dwise1 Member Posts: 5949 Joined: Member Rating: 5.3
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From YouTube:
"What's the difference between atheists and evangelicals? Atheists are honest about not following Jesus."
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JonF Member (Idle past 194 days) Posts: 6174 Joined:
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JonF Member (Idle past 194 days) Posts: 6174 Joined:
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Maybe it's not funny but it is one hellacious headline.
WATCH: Russian ”Spy’ Whale Who Defected To Norway Saves Woman’s Cell Phone
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Diomedes Member Posts: 995 From: Central Florida, USA Joined:
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ringo Member (Idle past 438 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined:
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Russian ”Spy’ Whale Who Defected To Norway Saves Woman’s Cell Phone Maybe it was just cleaning up the ocean. Edited by ringo, : Added quote.Hippopotamus.
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Minnemooseus Member Posts: 3945 From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior) Joined: Member Rating: 10.0
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Stolen from elsewhere.
"If I'm ever on life support - unplug me, wait 10 seconds and then plug me back in - see if that works." Moose ABE - Found another:
quote: Edited by Minnemooseus, : ABE.Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment. "Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham "The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith "Yesterday on Fox News, commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. To be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." - Conan O'Brien "Politics is not the art of the possible. It consistts in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable." - John Kenneth Galbraith "I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but I'm highly ignorant about everything." - Moose |
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RAZD Member (Idle past 1431 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
from facebook, ... but could not find it on Latest Insights - CivicScience
Reminds me of result to the question
What would you do if you found out your child was a homosapien? Enjoy abe: and yes he does mean bigoted, not just ignorant, as a later graph he cites shows 2/3rds Republicans picked "no" to only 1/3rd of democrats. He appears to be a writer for CivicScience ... but I still have not confirmed that. abe2: it appears John Dick is the CEO of CivicSciencesee Poll says that 56% of Americans don't want kids taught Arabic numerals. We have some bad news Edited by RAZD, : . Edited by RAZD, : ..by our ability to understand Rebel☮American☆Zen☯Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click)
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kjsimons Member Posts: 822 From: Orlando,FL Joined: Member Rating: 5.3
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I took one of their polls and the following question showed up:
"Should schools in America teach the creation theory of Catholic priest Georges Lemaitre as part of their science curriculum?" Now I was unaware before hand that his "creation theory"was the big bang until I googled him and it appears I wasn't alone in that. Only 20% of respondents clicked on the "yes" button for this question. 51% clicked on the "no" button, probably because of the "Catholic priest" vs "Science" wording of the question. I clicked on "yes".
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