Addiction By Definition

I think there are people who are more prone to addictions than others. I went through a period back in my thirties where I was drinking a lot and eventually became afraid I might be an alcoholic. But I discovered that I could quit very easily and continue to drink only now and then, so I conclude I wasn't addicted.On the other hand I was certainly heavily addicted to cigarettes for twenty-five years.But I have family members who couldn't give up alcohol. Usually they can confine it to a time of day and remain "functional" alcoholics but I found long ago that I can't be around them when they are drinking because of the personality change they go through.Addictions may be harder on those in the addict's life than the addict him or herself. Besides the personality changes that can be hard to live with, out-of-control alcoholics are hard to be around because they are destroying themselves, which becomes a constant source of anxiety for anyone who cares for them. They can't keep jobs for long. They may lose their driver's license and need you to take them places. When it's really severe they are in and out of the hospital and you are the one who has the responsibility to take them and pick them up. They sometimes quit for periods, unfortunately in some cases during a long stint in jail, usually for driving under the influence, but go right back to it, can maybe keep it hidden for a while but it eventually comes out.I've never been close to a drug addict but the situation must be similar plus the fact they usually end up on the streets and steal to support their habit. I know at least one marijuana addict though, actually two, but I'm not close enough to them to experience the results of their addiction. It's a daily thing, they can't live without it, but apparently do manage to go on functioning in spite of it. The main symptom is that their thinking can get very odd, so you just know not to talk to them at those times.I've known compulsive gamblers and they wreak havoc in their families. There is a constant level of anxiety you suffer being in their lives. Are they going to come home broke again, want you to give them some money? If it's a friend, is he going to show up and tell you he's broke and out on the streets unless you put him up and feed him? Blew his paycheck? Could you just get him through to the next one? But he was up all night gambling and in no shape to go to work. Then he discovers money you have hidden somewhere or even some old jewelry that he can pawn and he's off again to try to win the fortune that's going to save us all. That's the thinking of a gambler.No scientific study here, but some bad memories.Just for the record, not all of these are my own personal experience, but that of people I've been close to, enough to know what they went through. Some are my own but mixed with others that are close enough for discomfort but not directly my own. Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.

I was wondering where I might post this, or even if I should post it, but this thread seems like it might be an appropriate place.A friend, not a Christian, who practices Buddhist meditation was helping me get through some emotional stuff I've been going through recently and mentioned a Buddhist teacher she likes a lot as a possible source of useful perspective on such things. I was of course skeptical, I'm familiar with at least some of the basics of Buddhist practice and thot it would probably not speak to my emotional distress. I know more prayer would do it and prayer has been helping, but I gave this Buddhist teacher a look anyway.This is Robina Courtin who started out a Catholic nun and now teaches Buddhist principles. Her stuff is so "American" I wonder just how true to the Buddha's thot it is (besides also wondering if it's compatible with my Christian beliefs, which I haven't resolved yet) but she's so good at explicating it I thlnk she's well worth listening to. AND I thlnk just hearing her views has already helped me a lot.And ADDICTION is a major element in what her Buddhism addresses. There are three major tenets as she presents it: Ignorance, Attachment and Aversion. Ignorance is basically just not paying attention to our minds, our inner thots, and when we do pay attention what we find is lots of Attachment and lots of Aversion.Attachment is anything we are "addicted" to, things we crave, feel we can't do without, dominate our lives if we let them, and we usually do. This can be just about anything, but addictions such as you describe certainly fit the categories.I'm sure there's a lot more to it than just watching your thots but just that much helps to distance us from the emotional stuff that has a death grip on us so just that much can be therapeutic. Beyond that I gather there are methods for dealing with what we find in our obsessional minds, but just paying attention to them is an important start.As I write this I thlnk the problem for Christainity isn't a problem for Christianity but a problem for Christians who are weak in the practices of our own faith and are always falling into one kind of sin or another for that reason. Practicing mindfulness, or watching our thots, keeps us focused on the earthly and fleshly when we should be focused on the heavenly. Colossians 3 which I heard John MacArthur preach on a couple days ago, is very clear about that. But that kind of discipline is what we so often fail at if we are lax in practicing the means of grace.So a need for the Buddhist practices is an admission that we are not disciplined Christians rather than a contradiction to Christianity. But since we ARE undisciplined weak Christians who keep falling into emotional morasses and addictions, I recommend it as long as it doesn't eclipse completely our Christian methods.I have had an emotional block since age three, which I've known about for years but haven't been able to solve, that crops up in various emotional swamps I still get into even at my age, and just the idea that this emotional distress is a product of my own mind even as a three year old has been amazingly liberating. I won't be free of this stuff completely for some time I'm sure, but just this much has helped a lot.SO, Phat/Thug, it might be worth learning something about the Buddhist method. Robina Courtin is on You Tube just as John MacArthur is. I litened to the one titled "How to Approach the Feeling of Missing Out" which already tells you something about what I'm struggling with, though oddly she doesn't address that except very briefly near the end. But all the rest of it is remarkably clear and useful IMO. You may not find it so of course. There are other titles that might appeal to you more.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.

The danger of getting detached from personal relationships is something she addressed in passing on that video I heard. My own take on it ws that in losing an obsession with being loved, for instance, you can also lose the person who offers genuine love, which is a big mistake. I thlnk she's got a lot to say about the whole range of human experience myself.I didn't mention Aversion, which is the third principle she presented: Ignorance, Attachment and Aversion. Attachment or desire is the big one that eats us up, but the failure to fulfill the desire leads to Aversion which is all the negative stuff, anger, haytred, jealousy and all that, which can even lead to a real wish to kill someone, which made me thlnk of Ted Bundy and other killers.I thlnk if Buddha did realize all this he did arrive at the basics of human experience for sure. And Robina Courtin may be a genius at presenting Buddha's thoght in a way that westerners of today can grasp best. Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.

Thanks. I'm not familiar with any of those although I tried to read The Glass Bead Game once. But my aim right now is basically therapeutic. You're way more intellectual than I am.I'm enjoying Robina Courtin's version of Buddhism and actually feeling liberated from a deep emotional snag that's always tripped me up. It's unlikely it could be completely cured with one moment of recognition but it feels like that's what happened and only time will tell. She has a specifically therapeutic aim and it helps. I'm not going for learning how to practice mindfulness in any deep way or reaching for Nirvana, but getting an entrenched emotional mess unsnarled by simply seeing how it got put together in the first place is a big deal and I hope it lasts.

Although I knew the emotional liberation experience couldn't last I didn't want to believe it. It was very liberating at the time. But I was right that it couldn't last and the emotions would come back. But the basic insight is lasting and that should eventually help.I've listened enough now to Robina Courtin to know that her views do clash with Christianity, but it's possible to make use of the basic method of dealing with our mmental states without getting involved in the rest of it. And it's that method that I thlnk could be very helpful with addictions.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.Edited by Faith, : No reason given.

I'm not physically up to much of anything these days.Did you practice any of the meditation methods, the mind-watching, the "single point" focus or whatever it's called?