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Author Topic:   Humour VIII
dwise1
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Message 1103 of 1442 (866375)
11-10-2019 1:07 PM
Reply to: Message 1102 by Minnemooseus
11-10-2019 4:14 AM


Re: Heckova Family Tree
Most family trees spread out in the past, at least doubling in generation size for each generation you go back. Not so with European nobility.
Reminds me of a bumper sticker I saw once: "Line Dancing: what happens when cousins breed."

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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 1117 of 1442 (867235)
11-22-2019 12:44 PM
Reply to: Message 1115 by Tangle
11-22-2019 9:27 AM


My approach is to have an images directory on my web site, upload the image to that directory, and then use its URL in the img tag here.
Just in case that idea might help.

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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 1120 of 1442 (867570)
11-28-2019 3:01 AM


New Humor Uploads to my Web Site
Second is a list of "fortune cookie" sayings which was current for the UNIX fortune circa 1988, which is when I downloaded the text file from CompuServe.
UNIX Fortune Cookie List
First is a similar list of Irish and Scottish sayings/proverbs. My posting of this list prompted me to also post the "fortune cookie" list above. This list gives the original Gaelic saying followed by a translation.
Seanfhocail: Irish and Scottish Proverbs
BTW, here "sean" means "old", so I assume that "fhocail" must mean something like "saying". Similar is the term "sean tigh", "old house", which sounds like "shanty" which gives us the term, "shanty town", that part of town consisting of old houses. There are several surprising borrowings from Irish to English.
 
Share and enjoy!

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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(1)
Message 1121 of 1442 (867571)
11-28-2019 3:05 AM
Reply to: Message 1119 by Phat
11-22-2019 3:34 PM


Icons maybe?...i think i see subtle humor.
Two or three decades ago I downloaded some computer humor files, a few of which purported to be actual technical help sessions over the phone.
In one, the customer was using Windows, so the techie instructed the customer to click on an icon. "I'm a Christian! I DO NOT BELIEVE IN ICONS!" It's been a decade or two, so I forget tech support's response to that.

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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 1123 of 1442 (867584)
11-28-2019 1:28 PM
Reply to: Message 1122 by Heathen
11-28-2019 8:50 AM


Re: New Humor Uploads to my Web Site
So then "seanfhocail" would mean "old words". Makes sense. Thanks.
The action of that "h" sounds like lenation, a common sound change of consonants in Scottish Gaelic. The problem I had in trying to study that language was a lack of spoken examples coupled with a complex set of pronunciation rules that seemed to frequently change out from under me, not helped by a lack of phonetic renderings (at least the very few I saw, such as "tigh" for "house", were in International Phonetic Alphabet (IPA). Guess I'm going to have to win the lottery so I can go to that language school in Inverness (assuming it's still there).
For our USA members, when I was in Scotland and Ireland (though not Northern Ireland) all the street signs were bilingual English/Gaelic.

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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 1125 of 1442 (867591)
11-28-2019 2:32 PM
Reply to: Message 1124 by caffeine
11-28-2019 2:10 PM


Re: New Humor Uploads to my Web Site
That was in July 2015. I noticed it in and around Inverness which is where I especially noticed it, but I didn't notice it in the previous stop, Edinburgh, nor was I looking for it near Glasgow. It could well be that the practice of bilingual road signs is regional. BTW, I did notice it in Dublin (but didn't pay attention in the Cobh region) and I noticed its lack in Belfast and the surrounding countryside.
It was out of Inverness that I got clued in that the word "inbher" ("inver" in English) refers to the mouth of a river. "Inbher Ness" is at the mouth of the River Ness, as Invergordon is at the mouth of the River Gordon. And near Glasgow our guide took us to a village on the mouth of the Ary, Inverary (and to the castle there that was used in an episode of "Downton Abbey").

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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(1)
Message 1145 of 1442 (870478)
01-20-2020 2:59 PM
Reply to: Message 1144 by Coragyps
01-20-2020 1:59 PM


I attended California State University, Fullerton (CSUF) in the early 70's, again in the mid-80's (graduate program), and am currently there in OLLI (a retiree and seniors educational program).
Back during my original stint (mid-way through which they were upgraded from a state college to a state university), I once played around with the name to come up with "Fullerton University of California State" (FUCS).
Elsewhere, there was the outrageous 1980 Robert Zemeckis movie, Used Cars, which centered around the feud between two brothers owning car dealerships across the street from each other and the completely unscrupulous used car salesmen working for one of them. The family name was Fuchs, which is German for "fox". It is pronounced as "fuks" with a normal "u" (which is to say, not in the weird English way which makes phonetic spelling so confusing, but rather like the "oo" in "look" or "goose", but short). In the dialogue, they would overemphasize the English pronunciation as "Fy-oox", making it clear exactly what pronunciation they were trying to avoid even getting close to.

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dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 1146 of 1442 (870486)
01-20-2020 7:12 PM


Source of this Comedy Line?
quote:
I will go carazy! And I'm taking you with me!
First, damn those asterices! That word, "carazy", should be spelled Charlie-Romeo-Alpha-Zulu-Yankee. Because Admin's completely arbitrary rules, I have to modify the following quotes accordingly.
Second, the two instances I have found of it involved a woman talking to a man:
  • First instance I noticed was the final episode of Stargate: SG-1, Unending (follow that link to read the synopsis to understand the situation of a Star Gate Command (SGC) starship being stuck in a time dilation field for years (inside the field, nanoseconds outside it)) -- quotes gleaned from IMDB:
    quote:
    Vala Mal Doran: [to Daniel, about spending 3 months on the Odyssey] I'm gonna go carazy, and I'm taking you with me.
    Another quote I had forgotten:
    quote:
    Vala Mal Doran: Being stuck on this ship is worse than being stuck at the SGC. I-I-I tell you, the last time I was this bored I took hostages!
    Dr. Daniel Jackson: I was there.
  • The second instance just happened to present itself recently in a documentary (¿NetFlix: "The Movies That Made Us", "Home Alone"?) in a clip from Beetlejuice (1988) in which Delia (Catherine O'Hara) yells at her husband Charles (Jeffrey Jones): "I'm gonna go carazy, and I'm taking you with me." (or something almost exactly like that, lacking IMDB quotes). For context, Delia wants to redecorate with extreme avant garde art which is not supported by her husband who prefers L.L. Bean, so she makes that threat to get her way.
This has all the markings of a classic quote. I have no doubt that the screenwriter(s) of Beetlejuice also got it from another source.
Does anybody have any idea what the original source is?

  
dwise1
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Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(1)
Message 1153 of 1442 (871622)
02-07-2020 1:25 AM


Mr. Deity
I just heard of Mr. Deity and his YouTube videos at a skeptics breakfast last Sunday. Very clever. From Wikipedia:
quote:
Cast
  • Brian Keith Dalton: Mr. Deity, a.k.a. El, "El? Oh, him." The creator. Has little interest inor even full comprehension ofthe lives of humans and admits creating humans "to pass the time, provide some entertainment." He proclaims he's not a "details guy," adding that "Lucy handles that" and generally takes the credit for Larry's ideas as well as delegating most tasks to him. He is in an on-again—off-again relationship with Lucy. His misunderstandings of humans, general confusion, self-absorption and pop-culture references are generally the basis of episodes.
  • Jimbo Marshall: Larry, Mr. Deity's assistant. He often helps the Deity stay on task and reviews important details in the plan, clarifying his work, and recording that which is noteworthy; for instance, in putting together the Top Ten list. Despite popular thinking, he is not a version of the Holy Spirit.
  • Sean Douglas: Jesus, Does Mr. Deity a "really big favor" by going to Earth, leading a sinless life, then being sacrificed in the original version of the script. In return he is made "full partner, 1/3 vote." However his own views are often at odds with the Deity's plan, either out of general confusion, misunderstanding, or moral objection. He contributed to the Top Ten list, tries to make sense out of the Deity's edicts, and attempts to get out of being crucified. In the first season Mr. Deity often forgets his name and has called him Jesse. Jesus also occasionally calls Mr. Deity "Dad." Notably, neither the Deity nor Jesus have a full grasp of the Trinity.
  • Amy Rohren: Lucifer or "Lucy," was dumped by Mr. Deity prior to the show and was then appointed by him to run hell. At one point she hired Nietzsche to kill him in retaliation for dumping her. When introduced she requested to have her mascot changed to a "bunny" instead of a snake, and they compromised on a goat. She and Mr. Deity have an on—off relationship. He uses her to facilitate his plan and inflict suffering on others for his amusement.
  • Jarrett Lennon Kaufman: Timmy, technical adviser to Mr. Deity.

Search for "Mr. Deity" on YouTube. Here's an example, "Mr. Deity and the Science Advisor":
In one episode where he's complaining about science and its equations with Lucy, he presents his own "equation", which is printed on some of the items they sell:
(The image that is missing is http://dwise1.net/img/MrDeity.jpg - dwise1.net is not responding to any requests)
Basically his version of "Goddidit".
Edited by dwise1, : corrected misspelling
Edited by Admin, : Replace non-responding image with the missing image.

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dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 1155 of 1442 (871644)
02-07-2020 1:30 PM
Reply to: Message 1154 by Phat
02-07-2020 11:12 AM


Re: Mr. Deity
Not trying to carry on a discussion on skeptics gatherings; if anyone wants such a discussion then they should start a new topic or find an old one.
We have many social meetings such as breakfasts, dinners, movie nights, hikes, kayaking, etc. I attend three such Sunday breakfasts (for two skeptics groups and one atheist) and used to attend a Friday dinner night until I became obligated to help at a weekly swing dance (not related to skeptics).
Basically it's like-minded people getting together discussing many different topics, only a few of which deal with religion. For many, it's a chance to get away from religious/right-wing authoritarian family and co-workers and discuss what's on their minds with others who value reason. It just happen that this Sunday we had a new member who is ex-Mormon and it included a couple recovering Catholics, so religion was the topic this time.
The importance of having such groups is illustrated by the experience of Dan Barker of the Freedom From Religion Foundation (read the first chapters of his book, godless for the story). He was raised fundamentalist Christian and became a fundamentalist minister. But then, being a traveling minister, he noticed problems which got him thinking (Cardinal Sin # 8) and then reading and thinking some more. It was when he formed a discussion group to try to work through some of his questions that problems multiplied which led to him leaving the faith. So he found himself in the Los Angeles area all alone with nobody else the world thinking like he now was. He had to move across the country to Michigan to find any like-minded people.
Ironically, there was a group in Los Angeles (Atheists United in Santa Monica) whom he could go to, but he didn't know that they existed. This was in the early 1980's, so almost the only way you could know about such a group would be by word-of-mouth or by stumbling upon them by accident -- myself I stumbled upon their weekly 15-minute radio show (no longer exists) purely by accident; that was when I first heard of Dan Barker when they broadcast his guest speaker presentation.
Whatever your special interests, there is nothing odd about wanting to associate with others with the same interests.
Like I said, if someone wants to discuss this, then just start a new topic.

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dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(1)
Message 1171 of 1442 (873453)
03-15-2020 6:34 PM
Reply to: Message 1169 by AZPaul3
03-15-2020 11:50 AM


Re: Reality Thinly Disguised As Humor.
It's British, BTW. Some people just can't understand British humour (let alone be able to spell it).
It is spot-on and surprisingly accurate. It also offers a solution to a complaint that I've heard: that FOX News doesn't come in print form which can be used after we run out of toilet paper. The solution is to use any number of other Rupert Murdoch publications.
 
In other news, someone on Facebook announced that he refuses to shake hands, but not because of the coronavirus. Rather it's because everybody's out of toilet paper.

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dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 1179 of 1442 (873867)
03-20-2020 3:41 PM
Reply to: Message 1177 by AZPaul3
03-20-2020 3:10 PM


Re: Quarantine Boredom
I've been hearing of increased instances of housecleaning. An old friend reports that she and her husband are cleaning out the garage for the first time in 30 years.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1177 by AZPaul3, posted 03-20-2020 3:10 PM AZPaul3 has replied

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dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


(4)
Message 1188 of 1442 (874217)
03-26-2020 6:26 PM


Advice for Inner Peace
A friend just posted this on Facebook:
quote:
Here's something hilarious that someone posted on my Nextdoor site:
Heard some advice on the radio last night, it said to have inner peace, that we should always finish things we start, and we all could use more calm in our lives. I looked through my house to find things that I'd started and hadn't finished, so I finished off a bottle of Merlot, a bottle of Whiskey, a bodle of Baileys, a butle of wum, tha mainder of Valiumun srciptuns, an a box a chocletz. Yu haf no idr how feckin fablus I feel rite now. Sned this to all who need inner piis. An telum u luvum. And two al bee hapee wilst in de instalation.


  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 1194 of 1442 (874776)
04-09-2020 2:39 PM
Reply to: Message 1192 by JonF
04-08-2020 2:36 PM


ew.com (Entertainment) reports that the number given for the organization to fight rampant dumbfery, United to Defeat Untruthful Misinformation And Support Science (UDUMASS) leads to Santa’s Naughty or Nice Hotline.
Myself, I started out trying to see if that number spelled something, but those zeros killed that possibility.

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dwise1
Member
Posts: 5930
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 5.8


Message 1195 of 1442 (874777)
04-09-2020 2:40 PM
Reply to: Message 1193 by RAZD
04-09-2020 1:13 PM


Re:
Yes, it's a hoot and a half. But is has you playing with your face mask which is a safety violation.

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