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Author Topic:   Humour VIII
Posts: 7993
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 4.6

Message 1246 of 1249 (883172)
11-09-2020 7:02 PM

Bush, Obama and Trump meet before God to be questioned.

God asks Bush, what do you believe in?

Bush replies, “ I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American Nation, the rule of God and the law.”

God is impressed with Bush and says “Well, come sit in the chair on my right.”

God then goes over to Obama and asks him “What do you believe in?”

Obama replies, I believe in Democracy, helping the poor, world peace and doing right to all men without fear or favour.”

God is really impressed with Obama and says, “ Very good, come sit in the chair to my left.”

Finally God turns to Trump. ”What do you believe in Donald?”

Trump replies “I believe that you are sitting in my chair, you're fired!”

Je suis Charlie. Je suis Ahmed. Je suis Juif. Je suis Parisien. I am Mancunian. I am Brum. I am London.I am Finland. Soy Barcelona

"Life, don't talk to me about life" - Marvin the Paranoid Android

"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved."
- Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm.

Posts: 5404
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 4.4

Message 1247 of 1249 (883180)
11-11-2020 7:07 PM

Veteran's Day

Factio Republicana delenda est.
I am antifa.

Posts: 16631
Joined: 01-10-2003
Member Rating: 3.1

Message 1248 of 1249 (883227)
11-18-2020 4:22 PM

The Trump Presidential Library
Donald J Trump Library

A must see!

Visit the Covid Memorial! the Alt-Right Auditorium! Check out the Cocktail Menu at the Felon’s Lounge!

Posts: 18822
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 2.9

Message 1249 of 1249 (883307)
11-26-2020 12:00 PM

When you're little, you slip and fall on the ice and you cry because it's the end of the world. Luckily, the end of the world doesn't last long.

When you're a little older, you slip and fall on the ice and you say, "Hey, that's fun!" and you do it again on purpose.

When you get a little older, say pre-teen, you slip and fall on the ice and you're embarassed. You look around to see if anybody noticed.

When you get a little older, you slip and fall on the ice and you're angry. "Why doesn't somebody put some salt on that?"

When you get old, you slip and fall on the ice and before you get up you stop and check whether anything is broken. Do you have any new aches and pains that you didn't have five minutes ago?

You don't get any older than that.

"I've been to Moose Jaw, now I can die." -- John Wing

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