Wow, that other thread went to 300 posts while I was away for 4 days.
Thought Robin should hear my reply, thogh, so here you go.
quote:But you do tend to brag a bit. Why?
Pretending that I am not good at certain things, or that I do not possess certain attributes, when I have a reasonable amount of evidence from appropriate sources that I really am good at them or do have those attributes, would be silly. It would be a very typically female thing to do; to put myself down and not accept or believe that I am good at some things or that I do posess certain attributes, but I reject that kind of behavior.
In no waydo I believe myself perfect, or even particularly gifted or amazing in any way. I am most assuredly my own biggest critic. However, I have spent half of my life believing I was deficient in just about every way. I hope you will allow me the indulgence of stating confidently that I am, at least, sufficient at/in many things, proficient at/in a lot, and excellent at/in a few.
Please also consider that these kinds of effusive comments that you have noticed are almost always forced out of me.
They are usually preceeded by some theist smugly informing me how someone (like me) who doesn't believe in God cannot possibly lead a happy, full, joyful, moral, good life.
I have no choice but to explain to them how wrong they are in as accurate and precice language as I can muster.
Robin, I read the entire other thread, and I need to correct you.
Ian had just told me that the things I write here at EvC didn't have the "light of life" in them, which he found strange, apparently, as he said that he perceived this "light" in the photo of myself that is posted here.
For goodness sake, how can you blame me and find fault, or "bad manners" in my reply when Ian basically said to me, "Gee, your picture makes it look like you are vivacious and lively and really exude happiness. I would have expected someone who looked more miserable considering what you write here."?
I am afraid that you misrepresented me.
Never once did I say or imply that I constantly admired the wonder of life, or constantly lived life robustly.
I usually do see, hear, smell, taste, or otherwise experience something, at least once a day, that I appreciate profoundly. It gives me pause and makes me appreciate being alive, and there, in that moment, able to experience it.
I have thoughts like that all the time.
For example, years ago I was refilling a pan of olives at this shop I worked at, and they were the most beautiful range of shades of purples and tans, all shiny with olive oil and brine, and deliciously fragrant. I looked at them for a moment, thinking the above, and commented as such to the young woman next to me. She gave me a weird look and said nothing, clearly nonplussed.
After that, I have been very careful to whom I speak of such things. Many people do not understand, but I have found many who do.
Now, that doesn't mean I don't have taste. I can't stand Anne Geddes, for example. That's overly cute and contrived and saccherine.
Anyway, this is a little bit of what I mean when I talk about finding joy in life and living life robustly.
I really don't care if you approve, or if you are annoyed by my defending myself against Believers' smug incredulity with the truth of my experience.
It's not my job to make sure I don't annoy a jaded, mopey cynic.
When my life is going well, many times a day. During an amazing meal, for example, which includes great company, in a beautiful setting...almost constantly.
When I am not quite so happy, I am not so open to appreciating life and I spend more time inside my own head instead of interacting fully with the rest of the world. As a result, I miss and ignore that which and whom I otherwise would notice in that way.
Ian basically said to me, "Gee, your picture makes it look like you are vivacious and lively and really exude happiness. I would have expected someone who looked more miserable considering what you write here."?
Had I known you were 38 instead of 28 I would have posted the .wav file which would have recorded the sound of my jaw hitting the floor.
I see folk having a 'good time' all the time. But usually if you look for any length of time into their eyes the uncertainty will reveal itself. It might take a while, it might take the bad times to come over them. Thats why I couldn't meet my own eyes for very long in a mirror ~ (now its just sin - which is a different thing altogether)
Perhaps it was just a highlight in your life captured by the photo
it's either vapid kitsch, playing off people's affinity for cuteness and babies and faux sentimentality, or it's vapid kitsch playing off people's affinity for cuteness and babies and faux sentimentality on purpose and is actually a tongue-in-cheek comentary on the kinds of shit people will pay money for. in which case, it's a valid artistic statement, in the postmodern sense.
or maybe it's trying to piss of the artistic types by being technically excellent, yet completely uninteresting and somewhat retarded in it's "awwww" factor. in which case, i can respect it.
(after all, i've grown to like some of william wegman's work...)
quote:Had I known you were 38 instead of 28 I would have posted the .wav file which would have recorded the sound of my jaw hitting the floor.
You are a terrible flirt, Ian. Nerdy in all the right ways.
Remember, I was 36 in that photo, not 38. ;)
quote:I see folk having a 'good time' all the time. But usually if you look for any length of time into their eyes the uncertainty will reveal itself. It might take a while, it might take the bad times to come over them.
...or it might be that people, no matter what their belief or non-belief, go through good and bad times?
quote:Perhaps it was just a highlight in your life captured by the photo
Actually, that photo was taken in the middle of the very most stressful, difficult times of my life. However, I was also in New Orleans, at a wedding, and in the company of some of my oldest and dearest friends. It was a lovely restorative, that trip. It gave me strength to persevere in what I had to endure.