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Author Topic:   Why do you love?
U can call me Cookie
Member (Idle past 3060 days)
Posts: 228
From: jo'burg, RSA
Joined: 11-15-2005


Message 1 of 39 (361052)
11-03-2006 6:48 AM


I'm sure everyone has, at some point or another contemplated why it is that they are in love with someone; at least those that have found themselves in love.

So why is it that you love someone?
i'm not asking for the biological or religious reasoning behind love as a concept.
Just for the everyday simple, or not so simple, reasons you find yourself in love with your "significant" other/s (i believe it is possible to be in love with more than one individual at a time).

Is it sexual? Is it convenient? Is it life-preserving?
Is it something that just is, and you can't explain it?

Please share your thoughts.

(I've been told i over-analyse things :o)


"The good Christian should beware the mathematician and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell." - St. Augustine
Replies to this message:
 Message 2 by alacrity fitzhugh, posted 11-03-2006 8:15 AM U can call me Cookie has responded
 Message 4 by macaroniandcheese, posted 11-03-2006 7:05 PM U can call me Cookie has not yet responded
 Message 7 by Archer Opteryx, posted 11-04-2006 11:23 AM U can call me Cookie has responded
 Message 8 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 12:48 PM U can call me Cookie has responded
 Message 18 by Faith, posted 11-04-2006 9:54 PM U can call me Cookie has responded

  
alacrity fitzhugh
Member (Idle past 2396 days)
Posts: 194
Joined: 02-10-2004


Message 2 of 39 (361065)
11-03-2006 8:15 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by U can call me Cookie
11-03-2006 6:48 AM


U can call me Cookie writes:

So why is it that you love someone?

Is it sexual?

No.

s it convenient?

Not really, after 2 decades it still presents good and bad situations.

Is it life-preserving?

If, by this, you mean would I perish without her, no.

it something that just is, and you can't explain it?

This would be the best answer. seeing as I met my wife on her birthday, then married her 10 days later.

Edited by alacrity fitzhugh, : No reason given.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-03-2006 6:48 AM U can call me Cookie has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 3 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-03-2006 8:49 AM alacrity fitzhugh has responded

    
U can call me Cookie
Member (Idle past 3060 days)
Posts: 228
From: jo'burg, RSA
Joined: 11-15-2005


Message 3 of 39 (361069)
11-03-2006 8:49 AM
Reply to: Message 2 by alacrity fitzhugh
11-03-2006 8:15 AM


Wow! A whirlwind romance, and still together twenty years later.

While yours is proof that such can work out, it still boggles my mind as to how.


"The good Christian should beware the mathematician and all those who make empty prophecies. The danger already exists that the mathematicians have made a covenant with the devil to darken the spirit and to confine man in the bonds of hell." - St. Augustine
This message is a reply to:
 Message 2 by alacrity fitzhugh, posted 11-03-2006 8:15 AM alacrity fitzhugh has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 5 by alacrity fitzhugh, posted 11-03-2006 10:42 PM U can call me Cookie has not yet responded

  
macaroniandcheese 
Suspended Member (Idle past 2035 days)
Posts: 4258
Joined: 05-24-2004


Message 4 of 39 (361239)
11-03-2006 7:05 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by U can call me Cookie
11-03-2006 6:48 AM


i have no idea. i've been in love, i've been out of love. but it's never been anything i'd really sacrifice anything for. maybe i'm selfish.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-03-2006 6:48 AM U can call me Cookie has not yet responded

  
alacrity fitzhugh
Member (Idle past 2396 days)
Posts: 194
Joined: 02-10-2004


Message 5 of 39 (361333)
11-03-2006 10:42 PM
Reply to: Message 3 by U can call me Cookie
11-03-2006 8:49 AM


U can call me Cookie writes:

Wow! A whirlwind romance...

Not really, our first date I took her to peter piper pizza, then went and saw fatal beauty. If you call that romance.

U can call me Cookie writes:

...and still together twenty years later.

Monday is her ** birthday, the sixteenth is our anniversary. Next month, on the fourteenth, our oldest turns seventeen.

U can call me Cookie writes:

While yours is proof that such can work out...

Still it has had its ups and downs.

U can call me Cookie writes:

It still boggles my mind as to how.

One day your single, no commitments, then you realize your saying I do, and it is fussy how it happened.


Look to this day, For yesterday is already a dream. And tomorrow only a vision. But today We lived, makes every Yesterday a dream of Happiness and every tomorrow A vision of hope. Look well there to This day.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 3 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-03-2006 8:49 AM U can call me Cookie has not yet responded

    
Dr Adequate
Member
Posts: 16093
Joined: 07-20-2006
Member Rating: 9.2


Message 6 of 39 (361433)
11-04-2006 9:59 AM


I can't explain it. Therefore, love is caused by an invisible boy with wings shooting magic arrows at people.
  
Archer Opteryx
Member (Idle past 1705 days)
Posts: 1811
From: East Asia
Joined: 08-16-2006


Message 7 of 39 (361450)
11-04-2006 11:23 AM
Reply to: Message 1 by U can call me Cookie
11-03-2006 6:48 AM


Retro Night (Globalistic Graffiti)
Welcome back, cats and chicks! Ya got The Bowman here, cominatcha live from the Big Bamboo. Got a song dedication now for The Cookieman over in Jo'burg.

The gang at the EvC Bar & Grill says "Congrats, Skullface! Here's hoping 'U' don't over-analyze the recipe while you keep things 'Cookin.'"

Oo wah oo wah
Oo wah oo wah
Oo wah oo wah
Why do fools fall in love?

Why do birds sing so gay
And lovers await the break of the day?
Why do they fall in love?
Why does the rain fall from up above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?

Love is a losing game
Love can be a shame
I know I'm a fool you see
For that fool is me
Tell me why
Tell me why

Why do birds sing so gay
And lovers await the break of the day?
Why do they fall in love?
Why does the rain fall from up above?
Why do fools fall in love?
Why do they fall in love?

Why does my heart
Skip a crazy beat?
For I know
It will reach defeat
Tell me why
Tell me why

Why do fools fall in love?
Tell me why
Tell me why
Tell me why
Tell me why

---

F. Lymon / G. Goldner


___

;)

Edited by Archer Opterix, : HTML.


Archer

All species are transitional.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-03-2006 6:48 AM U can call me Cookie has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 30 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-06-2006 2:05 AM Archer Opteryx has responded

  
2ice_baked_taters
Member (Idle past 3958 days)
Posts: 566
From: Boulder Junction WI.
Joined: 02-16-2006


Message 8 of 39 (361481)
11-04-2006 12:48 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by U can call me Cookie
11-03-2006 6:48 AM


I have never asked why I am in love. Love is a choice. That part of me that longs to sing with another....You know...that whelling in ones chest we feel...The glow of innoscence from within....it is an infinately powerful yet very fragile thing. Like a feather capable of moving heaven and earth.
I respect this within me. I do not trust it to just anyone. My mind is the gatekeeper to that which sings within. To allow access is a concious choice. I choose too allow access to someone I have great respect for. I am fortunate that they made the same choice.
I find I fit with this person. We bring the twinkle to each others eye.
In this I see great potential. Like a child. I have found that others can feel when two people share in this way. My parrents were married 56 years. That twinkle was in their eyes till the end. You cannot mistake that look in someones eyes. I understand the quiet reverent power behind the look. It is humbling. Two are now singing together by choice. This is loves potential. It creates the bedrock of life.

Sex is just icing on the cake. One must bake a good cake first.
(see recipe above)^
Convenience is not love.
Preservation is not love.

It is only possible to love two people at the same time by intention.
The inherant problems are self evident. Someone who does this does not recognise what love truly is. They disrespect themselves, others, and what loves potential is. Love deserves ALL your attention and respect.
Otherwise you are nothing but a confused child in a candy store.
I would never allow myself to be part of that scenario. Love is not a contest or a candy store. I cannot respect someone who treats it that way.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-03-2006 6:48 AM U can call me Cookie has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 9 by Archer Opteryx, posted 11-04-2006 1:42 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded
 Message 10 by ringo, posted 11-04-2006 1:51 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded
 Message 11 by alacrity fitzhugh, posted 11-04-2006 1:52 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded
 Message 31 by U can call me Cookie, posted 11-06-2006 2:22 AM 2ice_baked_taters has responded

  
Archer Opteryx
Member (Idle past 1705 days)
Posts: 1811
From: East Asia
Joined: 08-16-2006


Message 9 of 39 (361501)
11-04-2006 1:42 PM
Reply to: Message 8 by 2ice_baked_taters
11-04-2006 12:48 PM


having your cake and eating it, too
It is only possible to love two people at the same time by intention.

Oh, come on. You know better.

Picture a corny, wholesome family of four. Two parents and two children. The parents love each other enough to die for each other. But they love the children, too. They would die for the children.

If they have more children they will love them, too. Enough to die for them. And this, without diminishing one bit the love they already feel for each other.

Conclusion: it's possible to love more than one person. We do it all the time.

And--if you really peel the folds of the heart back and take a look--you'll find they love more people than that. There's that old college friend. There's that friend at the office.

They might not even think of their feelings for these people as love. They will likely have some safer word for it. After all, they have contracts to keep, things to protect. Love is a powerful force. Elemental. Potentially dangerous. There are times to let it gush as it will and wash you away in the flood. But there are times to dig channels for it--try to tame the element and steer its course and use it to irrigate worthwhile projects. Let it nourish things rather than flood the landscape and destroy something already worth protecting.

So they will give these other loves some kind of structure. Some category. But the truth--hidden away so far even they don't see it--is that they feel something powerful. They would still take a bullet, if need be, for that college friend. They would take the hand of that friend at the office, if need be, and leap together from a burning skyscraper.

Love is a cake, true, but a special one. Most cakes require you to cut thinner slices as you bring more guests to the table. Love expands. The cake feeds everyone, yet there's always more for new people who come to the party.

I question whether anyone who knows how to love can only love one person.

We're all polygamists at heart, you know.

__

Edited by Archer Opterix, : HTML.

Edited by Archer Opterix, : Typo repair.


Archer

All species are transitional.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 8 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 12:48 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 12 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 5:56 PM Archer Opteryx has responded

  
ringo
Member
Posts: 16350
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 3.4


Message 10 of 39 (361504)
11-04-2006 1:51 PM
Reply to: Message 8 by 2ice_baked_taters
11-04-2006 12:48 PM


2ice_baked_taters writes:

Sex is just icing on the cake. One must bake a good cake first.

The love of my life was a lesbian.

(Incidentally, I've always prefered my cake without icing. :) )

Edited by Ringo, : Spelling.


Help scientific research in your spare time. No cost. No obligation.
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This message is a reply to:
 Message 8 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 12:48 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 14 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 6:07 PM ringo has responded

  
alacrity fitzhugh
Member (Idle past 2396 days)
Posts: 194
Joined: 02-10-2004


Message 11 of 39 (361506)
11-04-2006 1:52 PM
Reply to: Message 8 by 2ice_baked_taters
11-04-2006 12:48 PM


2ice_baked_taters writes:

It is only possible to love two people at the same time by intention.

So I am only able to love either my wife and one child, or just my two children?


Look to this day, For yesterday is already a dream. And tomorrow only a vision. But today We lived, makes every Yesterday a dream of Happiness and every tomorrow A vision of hope. Look well there to This day.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 8 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 12:48 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 13 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 6:01 PM alacrity fitzhugh has responded

    
2ice_baked_taters
Member (Idle past 3958 days)
Posts: 566
From: Boulder Junction WI.
Joined: 02-16-2006


Message 12 of 39 (361601)
11-04-2006 5:56 PM
Reply to: Message 9 by Archer Opteryx
11-04-2006 1:42 PM


Re: having your cake and eating it, too
Oh, come on. You know better.

All love is by intention.

For your refreshment:
This was Cookies direction.

So why is it that you love someone?
i'm not asking for the biological or religious reasoning behind love as a concept.
Just for the everyday simple, or not so simple, reasons you find yourself in love with your "significant" other/s (i believe it is possible to be in love with more than one individual at a time).

It was specific. I answered it as such.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 9 by Archer Opteryx, posted 11-04-2006 1:42 PM Archer Opteryx has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 20 by Archer Opteryx, posted 11-04-2006 10:27 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded

  
2ice_baked_taters
Member (Idle past 3958 days)
Posts: 566
From: Boulder Junction WI.
Joined: 02-16-2006


Message 13 of 39 (361605)
11-04-2006 6:01 PM
Reply to: Message 11 by alacrity fitzhugh
11-04-2006 1:52 PM


So I am only able to love either my wife and one child, or just my two children?

You need to take a closer look at Cookies question.
Unless you would like people to get the idea that you get romantically/sexually involved with your childeren.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 11 by alacrity fitzhugh, posted 11-04-2006 1:52 PM alacrity fitzhugh has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 15 by alacrity fitzhugh, posted 11-04-2006 6:48 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded

  
2ice_baked_taters
Member (Idle past 3958 days)
Posts: 566
From: Boulder Junction WI.
Joined: 02-16-2006


Message 14 of 39 (361609)
11-04-2006 6:07 PM
Reply to: Message 10 by ringo
11-04-2006 1:51 PM


The love of my life was a lesbian.

Was? What happened? And..wait a minute....your life isn't over is it?
This isn't one of those internet from the grave things is it? I hate when that happens. lol


This message is a reply to:
 Message 10 by ringo, posted 11-04-2006 1:51 PM ringo has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 19 by ringo, posted 11-04-2006 10:04 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded

  
alacrity fitzhugh
Member (Idle past 2396 days)
Posts: 194
Joined: 02-10-2004


Message 15 of 39 (361621)
11-04-2006 6:48 PM
Reply to: Message 13 by 2ice_baked_taters
11-04-2006 6:01 PM


archer opterix writes:

2ice_baked_taters writes:

It is only possible to love two people at the same time by intention.

Oh, come on. You know better.

Picture a corny, wholesome family of four. Two parents and two children. The parents love each other enough to die for each other. But they love the children, too. They would die for the children.

So archer opterix understood what you posted did not mean an exclusive physical relationship.

But here:

2ice_baked_taters writes:

alacrity fitzhugh writes:

So I am only able to love either my wife and one child, or just my two children?

You need to take a closer look at Cookies question.
Unless you would like people to get the idea that you get romantically/sexually involved with yourchildren.

No, you need to learn to understand your own post, and slinging around veiled accusation of incest just show me how bankrupt you are.

Edited by alacrity fitzhugh, : attributed quotes wrong


Look to this day, For yesterday is already a dream. And tomorrow only a vision. But today We lived, makes every Yesterday a dream of Happiness and every tomorrow A vision of hope. Look well there to This day.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 13 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 6:01 PM 2ice_baked_taters has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 16 by 2ice_baked_taters, posted 11-04-2006 8:46 PM alacrity fitzhugh has responded

    
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