Who Wants a Flamewar?

In accordance with the promise I made to my girlfriend on her birthday (this past Saturday), I am now entering day three without a cigarette.Who's up for a good old fashioned flamewar? Come on, I'll start. Your god is smelly! He likes feet! NYEAH!

So change the avatar, you pussy-whipped clod. And have another Tootsie Roll.------------------
The dark nursery of evolution is very dark indeed.
Brad McFall

That's the spirit, you horse-humping scum-catcher!

The first week's always the toughest. I should know since I've "quit" about 3 times so far, and none of them really took. Longest I went was about 8 months nic-free, and I'm planning on making it my New Year's Resolution next year to quit and stay quit.So the craving have you a little irritable, huh? Well, I'm not so good at the flaming, but I'll give it a go...Dan, you're a pathetic, dookie-for-brains, cockbiting cum dumpster.Howzat?

quote:

---

The first week's always the toughest. I should know since I've "quit" about 3 times so far, and none of them really took.

---

Yeah. I had one quit before this, many years ago. It was so easy I figured it was no biggie, so I could quit any old time.HA HA HA HA HA HA.No, this one is much worse. I smoke a lot more nowadays, and I've been smoking for many more years. I got a little irritable the first time around... this time I couldn't think linearly for a couple hours on the first day.

quote:

---

Dan, you're a pathetic, dookie-for-brains, cockbiting cum dumpster.

​

Howzat?

---

Not so good, ass-pole.

Quit your whining!I'm sure you can find other ways to indulge your oral fixation, ya quitter. I'll be enjoying a smoke while you ease into your new occupation: fluffer!

My girlfriend quit last year. She didn't have any trouble at all. You're clearly just a weak-willed, mammy-lovin' wuss.She read some book and now swears by it. I'll find out what it's called for you if you think you can cope with a book with normal size print and hardly any pictures?

I quit my two-pack-a-day Camels habit almost a quarter-century ago. Crap, I hardly missed 'em at all after the first three years.

How sad. Dan can't even flame properly. Instead of just rattling off potty-mouth adjectives like a dejected third grader with a kick-me sign on their butt, you should try to flame at a higher quality - go for that fourth grade material that you've been keeping in a safe.Perhaps I'm being too hard on you. It must be hard to get any sort of flame going, what between parent-installed CyberSitter and late-stage syphilis. Perhaps I should learn to be nice to the victims of that 1992 moonshine incident. There's no use beating a dead horse; I just wish you'd understand that no matter how hard you beat her, Sparkle will never prance with you around your yard again.Really, though, I shouldn't flame Dan. For when I read Dan's posts, all I can think of is "There, but for the grace of God, go I." It could happen to any one of us. Brad's already partway there. Heed this lesson, everyone!------------------
"Illuminant light,
illuminate me."

All right, time to take all y'all on...

quote:

---

Zephyr:
I'm sure you can find other ways to indulge your oral fixation, ya quitter.

---

What can I say, man. Not everyone has the jaw strength and breath control to keep their oral exercises up as long as you can.

quote:

---

Mr. Jack:
I'll find out what it's called for you if you think you can cope with a book with normal size print and hardly any pictures?

---

I dunno Jack, I like my picture books. The last one your girlfriend gave me had all sorts of nice pictures. You gotta get her to tell me how she held a camera with her toes like that.

quote:

---

Rei:
Really, though, I shouldn't flame Dan. For when I read Dan's posts, all I can think of is "There, but for the grace of God, go I." It could happen to any one of us. Brad's already partway there. Heed this lesson, everyone!

---

Ut, now blinky weighs in, with a devestating comparison to Brad McFall. Do me a favor honey, call me when you got some new material. Next thing you know, you'll be cracking a joke about Fred Williams...(Thanks, guys. I needed this. )

quote:

---

What can I say, man. Not everyone has the jaw strength and breath control to keep their oral exercises up as long as you can.

---

Yeah, your girlfriend told me that's your excuse every time you can't finish licking her kitty like you're supposed to.That's why I told her to make you give up smoking... better breath contol.Suck it up bud, I'm moving away soon and won't be able to keep her happy for you forever, besides her commutes to my side of chitown are costing you guys a fortune.------------------
holmes

Dude, for the last time... if you start hacking up hairballs when you're finished, IT'S AN ACTUAL KITTY.Take note, and think before you lick. In the meantime, I am never, ever letting you cat-sit for us again.[This message has been edited by Dan Carroll, 12-01-2003]

So you used to inhale the foul-smelling fumes of burning weeds and clogging your lungs with tar all for the sake of introducing weed killer into your bloodstream.Do you expect sympathy because you're STOPPING it ?

quote:

---

Ut, now blinky weighs in, with a devestating comparison to Brad McFall. Do me a favor honey, call me when you got some new material. Next thing you know, you'll be cracking a joke about Fred Williams...

---

He's got a job as an electrical engineer. Probably brings home a nice salary, too. I'd have a hard time comparing you two, actually.------------------
"Illuminant light,
illuminate me."

I assume everyone's heard the old joke, "Quitting's easy, I've done it dozens of times!" Sorry, no flames. Good luck, Dan!--Percy