1 Who do you think is the better mammal, the Gray Timber Wolf or the Blue Whale?
2 Which is your favorite, and why?
3 Which would dominate in a fight?
4 Which one would most benefit from wings?
5 Which do you think would be more a drain on the US health care? (I am predicting Oni will be pro-timber wolf here).
6 Given that the market for whale's blubber has declined, and the marketing use of a wolf's likeness has increased exponentially at carnivals and tattoo parlors, which animal has more worth or value?
7 If each were given a million dollars, which would stimulate the economy more? Which would invest more in oversea derivative markets?
8 Which do you think would be more likely to win in a Republican primary? And would the results be similar in the south and north states?
9 Which has a higher gay\transgender percentage, and would aquatic nurturing have more of an impact on the whale, and if negligable, which would have a better social net to prevent adolescent suicides?
1 Wolf 2 wolf, I like dogs. 3 ??? 4 wolves, there is nothing for blue whales to eat in the air. 5 Wolves 6 whale oil is still worth money, and is still used, so whales 7 Wolves, wolves 8 Whales, yes. 9 ???
My questionnaire and your reply reminds me of a Seinfeld episode: George's psychoanalysis into a candidate's soul via an abstract query with no possibility of a wrong answer, none-the-less, resulted in a wrong answer:
• GEORGE: (interviewing a kid for the Susan Ross Foundation scholarship) "If you were an animal, what would you be?" • KID: "I don't know. A frog?" • GEORGE: "No. Frog is wrong."
Puhlease, unless you want both animals to lose, I don't think that would be particularly sporting to either animal.
I'd think it much fairer to have a home and home series. The first two matches would be in water, because whales have evolved first. The next two in a timber environment. If still a tie, we ramp up the final match's environment to a cave with noxious sulfer gas and both competitors wear masks with corporate identity capes. I see profit potential . . .
Fox television can sponsor. (what can I say?, sex sells!)
Then the whale wins. The series never gets to game three.
Well, the sponsors will only profit if there are more than three games. Sooo, trust me, the wolf WILL win one of the two first games — perhaps by forfeit because of a depressant found in the blue whale's blood during the drug-testing. Now you know why they are called "blue" whales.
(Did I mention that Fox News is broadcasting the event?)