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Author Topic:   Take that Tangle
Posts: 6203
From: Sidney, BC, Canada
Joined: 05-22-2005

Message 1 of 4 (873978)
03-22-2020 8:55 PM

I believe that Tangle has indicated somewhere that he lives in London. Recently a columnist in one of London’s papers slammed the community of North Saancih, British Columbia, in which I humbly reside. A local columnist has written a reply that I am sure Tangle will miss unless I post it here.
Britain’s Daily Mail, one of the more trashy tabloids in a country devoted to rags of that sort, is slamming North Saanich as a characterless backwater.
What led to this trash talking, more of which in a moment, was the decision by Prince Harry and Meghan Markle to begin a new life on Vancouver Island. Now I’m not sure that decision still holds there’s been talk they might prefer Hollywood, a genuinely characterless backwater.
But apparently, the thought of losing what it calls one of the world’s glamorous couples was more than the paper could stomach.
Hence we get this: the relatively young couple seem anxious to escape the restrictions of the UK monarchy so picking underpopulated Vancouver Island, with fir trees in every direction, freezing winters and a brief six-week summer might seem understandable in reality, it’s just plain weird. Instead of Lake Como they’ve got a rocky beach with grey skies overhead ... Have we Brits really upset the Duke and Duchess of Sussex so much they prefer the hum drum [sic] existence of downtown Victoria, with its limited choice of fine dining and trendy cafs?
And: If Canada is so fabulous, how come so many famous Canadians live elsewhere?
Then again: What cuisine has Canada given the world apart from maple syrup, bacon and a disgusting dish called poutine, which consists of cheese curds, chips and brown sauce.
Plus The average age [Canadians] start drinking is 13 and there’s a huge alcohol problem maybe it’s the lack of things to do.
Actually, the country with a huge alcohol problem is Britain, where the locals down 20 per cent more per capita than we do.
So let’s turn this around. First off, I’m fairly confident the ex-royal couple fled Britain to get away from outfits such as the Daily Mail, famous for scantily clad models and bare-faced rumour-mongering.
As well, if Britain is so fabulous, how come so many Brits live abroad? According to the 2016 census, a third of Canadians list their ethnic origin as English or Scottish.
And sliming weather on Vancouver Island when you’re writing for a newspaper based in England, home to one of the dreariest climates on the planet, takes nerve. The U.K. has been blasted with unprecedented gale-force winds, torrential rain and flooding in recent weeks.
But let’s get to the heart of the matter. I assume the author of this hit piece, Janet Street-Porter, lives in London, where the paper is published. Though in passing, she confesses to having spent two weeks once upon a time on Gabriola Island, where pooing in a composting toilet has scarred me for life.
In any event, traffic in London is now so hellish, you have to pay a $20 fee just to drive into town. There are indeed fine dining establishments and trendy cafs, but you would need a bank loan to eat at one.
And don’t think of buying a house average price $1.4 million for an ancient pile built in the 1800s, with lousy wiring and a kitchen the size of a broom closet. Even a one-bedroom apartment can set you back $3,000 a month in rent.
Mangy foxes roam the streets and even mangier pigeons decorate your parked car with droppings. That is, if you can find somewhere to park it in the first place.
By general agreement, London’s underground the Tube is dirty, smelly and crowded, perhaps the worst of its kind in Europe.
And the city’s crime rate, at 96 offences per thousand residents, is 10 times the level on Vancouver Island, and rising rapidly.
In short, life in a characterless backwater such as North Saanich is heaven compared with eking out an existence in the concrete jungle Street-Porter calls home.
However, if she cares to pay us a visit, I’m sure we can find her a place with an indoor toilet, something you still can’t count on in that Sceptred Isle.
North Saanich vs London

He has told you, O man, what is good ; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

Posts: 9533
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 3.8

Message 2 of 4 (873982)
03-23-2020 4:06 AM

First the Daily Mail (aka the Daily Wail) is a publication - I won't call it a newspaper - that is unfit for use as toilet paper so anything you find written in it can be regarded as wrong by default. Unless by accident - they write so much random crap that occasionally they must get something right sometime, but I'm not sure whether it's been witnessed yet.
Second, I love Canada, BC especially and Victoria Island in particular. If I had to leave the UK I'd be choosing between New Zealand and Canada.
Third, my wife says that the best meal she's had in her life was in an Italian restaurant in Victoria. Sadly, she can't remember it's name.
And fourth - and most important - it has great fishing; who wouldn't want that?
Where the Canadian response goes wrong though is in not acknowledging that London is one of the world's great cities, stuffed full of all the things that make great cities great - restaurants, museums, architecture, theatres, universities, business, history and so on. Very few places on earth can compete with it on a like-for-like basis.
So instead of following the Mail's crassness and stupidity your publication should be reminding its readers about what's great about Victoria that's made these two famous and wealthy people choose it.
And, by-the-way, you're welcome to them. Please keep them there.
I actually now live in Sussex, about 60 miles south of London, and really resented having a Duke and Duchess claim my county by fiat.

Je suis Charlie. Je suis Ahmed. Je suis Juif. Je suis Parisien. I am Mancunian. I am Brum. I am London.I am Finland. Soy Barcelona
"Life, don't talk to me about life" - Marvin the Paranoid Android
"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved."
- Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm.

Member (Idle past 1111 days)
Posts: 1800
From: Prague, Czech Republic
Joined: 10-22-2008

Message 3 of 4 (873985)
03-23-2020 5:21 AM

Have to agree with Tangle that your columnist would have been better off extolling the many virtues of Vancouver Island than launching on a dubious critique of London, if for no other reason than that Janet Street-Porter doesn't live there.

Replies to this message:
 Message 4 by GDR, posted 03-23-2020 11:59 AM caffeine has not replied

Posts: 6203
From: Sidney, BC, Canada
Joined: 05-22-2005

Message 4 of 4 (874001)
03-23-2020 11:59 AM
Reply to: Message 3 by caffeine
03-23-2020 5:21 AM

It is all tongue in cheek and just kinda fun. My job took me to London a lot and I spent many hours walking around the place and loved it there. We usually stayed near Regent Park right across from Lord's, although I never got into see a cricket match. There was some great pubs in the area and I loved them all, and in spite of what others say I still contend the Brits make the best beer.

He has told you, O man, what is good ; And what does the LORD require of you But to do justice, to love kindness, And to walk humbly with your God.
Micah 6:8

This message is a reply to:
 Message 3 by caffeine, posted 03-23-2020 5:21 AM caffeine has not replied

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