I went to this new fast food restaurant today and ordered a burger, but when I received it and took a bite, god it tasted awful. I lifted the bap to investigate, and found a curly hair in there. I walked right up to the counter and was like “I demand to speak to the manager!” and the manager came up to me and was like “what’s the problem,” and I said “I’ll tell you the problem, there’s a hair in my burger, furthermore I suspect that it might be a pube. I demand some form of compensation!” He said, “I deeply regret that our burgers caused you such distress. I assure you we’ll compensate you fully, and as a gesture of our good will I’d also like to give you a quick tour of our kitchen, to show you just how splendidly we prepare food here.”
I thought, well he seems like a nice enough guy, I might as well take his tour and all that jive. So I followed him into the kitchen where he showed me exactly how they do things here. I couldn’t believe it, there was this truely disgusting man stood there wearing one of those big chef's hats, a pair of blue and grey striped trousers, and a fat hairy belly popping out of his string vest, and he was grabbing big bits of squashed meat and flattening them under his armpit to mould the meat into a patty.
“What is this place?!” I said, “I’m going to the police about this, I’m going to tell everyone what you lot are doing to people!”
“Look I’m sorry,” replied the manager, “please don’t tell the police, look, how about a lifetime’s supply of donuts, fresh out of this kitchen?”
"NO!"