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Author Topic:   Humor III
Zawi
Member (Idle past 3739 days)
Posts: 126
From: UK
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 16 of 301 (385251)
02-14-2007 7:32 PM


I went to this new fast food restaurant today and ordered a burger, but when I received it and took a bite, god it tasted awful. I lifted the bap to investigate, and found a curly hair in there. I walked right up to the counter and was like “I demand to speak to the manager!” and the manager came up to me and was like “what’s the problem,” and I said “I’ll tell you the problem, there’s a hair in my burger, furthermore I suspect that it might be a pube. I demand some form of compensation!” He said, “I deeply regret that our burgers caused you such distress. I assure you we’ll compensate you fully, and as a gesture of our good will I’d also like to give you a quick tour of our kitchen, to show you just how splendidly we prepare food here.”
I thought, well he seems like a nice enough guy, I might as well take his tour and all that jive. So I followed him into the kitchen where he showed me exactly how they do things here. I couldn’t believe it, there was this truely disgusting man stood there wearing one of those big chef's hats, a pair of blue and grey striped trousers, and a fat hairy belly popping out of his string vest, and he was grabbing big bits of squashed meat and flattening them under his armpit to mould the meat into a patty.
“What is this place?!” I said, “I’m going to the police about this, I’m going to tell everyone what you lot are doing to people!”
“Look I’m sorry,” replied the manager, “please don’t tell the police, look, how about a lifetime’s supply of donuts, fresh out of this kitchen?”
"NO!"

Replies to this message:
 Message 17 by subbie, posted 02-14-2007 7:47 PM Zawi has not replied
 Message 62 by Jon, posted 04-06-2007 1:23 PM Zawi has not replied

Zawi
Member (Idle past 3739 days)
Posts: 126
From: UK
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 32 of 301 (387115)
02-26-2007 11:21 AM
Reply to: Message 31 by Mercury
02-25-2007 7:39 PM


Re: You Can Tell the Socratic Method is Dead When.....
Somebody once told me about the subtext of that letter. He said that it draws parallels with the average German citizen's acceptance of Nazi ideas, and the perils of defying Hitler. Some clues can be found in the letter that back this up, for instance it is dated April 20th, which was Hitler's birth day. The date of Alex's detention, April 22nd, was the day that Adolf Hitler admitted defeat. Slightly more tenuously but to me still convincing, the teacher's name 'Adam Hilliker' sounds like 'Adolf Hitler'.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 31 by Mercury, posted 02-25-2007 7:39 PM Mercury has not replied

Zawi
Member (Idle past 3739 days)
Posts: 126
From: UK
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 176 of 301 (420300)
09-07-2007 11:00 AM
Reply to: Message 174 by subbie
08-29-2007 4:18 PM


Re: Keith Olberman on the Miss Teen USA pageant
I reckon the girl in the video is making a clever post-modern commentary on the more subtle stupidity of people in general (well, not really but it's funny to imagine). By making herself sound like the caricature of dumb, she made herself an easy target for people who can only detect stupidity when it's packaged so conspicuously. These are the same people who are so gullible as to never even think to question the validity of a blatant pulled-out-the-ass statistic like "1 in 5 Americans can't find their own country on a world map". I'm pretty damn sure that 1 in 5 Americans aren't so stupid as to not know where their country is (I can't find any information about a poll that reveals such stats on the net), but they do seem to be stupid enough to get duped into believing any statistic they hear.
This isn't aimed at you btw Subbie. It's a good and funny vid.
Edited by Zawi, : No reason given.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 174 by subbie, posted 08-29-2007 4:18 PM subbie has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 177 by Modulous, posted 09-07-2007 11:54 AM Zawi has replied
 Message 182 by Minnemooseus, posted 09-07-2007 10:35 PM Zawi has not replied

Zawi
Member (Idle past 3739 days)
Posts: 126
From: UK
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 178 of 301 (420322)
09-07-2007 12:50 PM
Reply to: Message 177 by Modulous
09-07-2007 11:54 AM


Re: Keith Olberman on the Miss Teen USA pageant
Thanks for posting that. I was having difficulty finding such information on the net. It would be nice to thoroughly debunk the assertion that 1 in 5 Americans can't find their own country on a world map, but this helps.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 177 by Modulous, posted 09-07-2007 11:54 AM Modulous has not replied

Zawi
Member (Idle past 3739 days)
Posts: 126
From: UK
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 181 of 301 (420336)
09-07-2007 1:24 PM
Reply to: Message 180 by Taz
09-07-2007 1:11 PM


Re: Keith Olberman on the Miss Teen USA pageant
Can't blame them, it's a tricky country to find.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 180 by Taz, posted 09-07-2007 1:11 PM Taz has not replied

Zawi
Member (Idle past 3739 days)
Posts: 126
From: UK
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 186 of 301 (421386)
09-12-2007 12:57 PM
Reply to: Message 185 by RAZD
09-11-2007 9:17 PM


LOL good call. Ted Haggard and their ilk truly are self-oppressed.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 185 by RAZD, posted 09-11-2007 9:17 PM RAZD has not replied

Zawi
Member (Idle past 3739 days)
Posts: 126
From: UK
Joined: 12-02-2004


Message 195 of 301 (422155)
09-16-2007 7:18 AM
Reply to: Message 189 by Taz
09-15-2007 6:26 PM


Re: Latest Chick Tract
I can hear the disappointment in his voice when he reveals that, when you pull the tab, the contents don't squirt in your face.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 189 by Taz, posted 09-15-2007 6:26 PM Taz has not replied

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