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Author Topic:   Humor III
Archer Opteryx
Member (Idle past 3685 days)
Posts: 1811
From: East Asia
Joined: 08-16-2006


Message 1 of 301 (384993)
02-13-2007 7:27 PM


Q. How can you tell if you've got a Buddhist vacuum cleaner?
A. It has no attachments.

Replies to this message:
 Message 3 by RAZD, posted 02-13-2007 9:17 PM Archer Opteryx has replied
 Message 13 by nyenye, posted 02-14-2007 3:17 PM Archer Opteryx has not replied
 Message 41 by nyenye, posted 03-14-2007 8:44 PM Archer Opteryx has not replied
 Message 173 by Archer Opteryx, posted 08-29-2007 1:49 PM Archer Opteryx has not replied

Adminnemooseus
Administrator
Posts: 3977
Joined: 09-26-2002


Message 2 of 301 (385006)
02-13-2007 8:47 PM


Thread moved here from the Proposed New Topics forum.

RAZD
Member (Idle past 1493 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 3 of 301 (385013)
02-13-2007 9:17 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by Archer Opteryx
02-13-2007 7:27 PM


Q: How many Buddha's does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: (highlight the tan block)
None, they're already enlightened

Join the effort to unravel AIDS/HIV, unfold Proteomes, fight Cancer,
compare Fiocruz Genome and fight Muscular Dystrophy with Team EvC! (click)


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAAmericanOZen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by Archer Opteryx, posted 02-13-2007 7:27 PM Archer Opteryx has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 4 by arachnophilia, posted 02-13-2007 10:09 PM RAZD has seen this message but not replied
 Message 84 by Archer Opteryx, posted 05-11-2007 11:23 AM RAZD has replied

arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1431 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004


Message 4 of 301 (385021)
02-13-2007 10:09 PM
Reply to: Message 3 by RAZD
02-13-2007 9:17 PM


an oldie but a goodie
what did the buddhist say to the hot dog vendor?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 3 by RAZD, posted 02-13-2007 9:17 PM RAZD has seen this message but not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 5 by Dan Carroll, posted 02-13-2007 11:04 PM arachnophilia has replied

Dan Carroll
Inactive Member


Message 5 of 301 (385033)
02-13-2007 11:04 PM
Reply to: Message 4 by arachnophilia
02-13-2007 10:09 PM


Re: an oldie but a goodie
A: Make me one with everything.
---
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?"

"I know some of you are going to say 'I did look it up, and that's not true.' That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut."
-Stephen Colbert

This message is a reply to:
 Message 4 by arachnophilia, posted 02-13-2007 10:09 PM arachnophilia has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 6 by arachnophilia, posted 02-13-2007 11:54 PM Dan Carroll has not replied
 Message 7 by Taz, posted 02-14-2007 12:15 AM Dan Carroll has not replied
 Message 12 by truthlover, posted 02-14-2007 2:15 PM Dan Carroll has replied

arachnophilia
Member (Idle past 1431 days)
Posts: 9069
From: god's waiting room
Joined: 05-21-2004


Message 6 of 301 (385041)
02-13-2007 11:54 PM
Reply to: Message 5 by Dan Carroll
02-13-2007 11:04 PM


Re: an oldie but a goodie
a priest, a minister and a rabbi walk into a bar. the rabbi says "hey, did you hear the one about us?"

This message is a reply to:
 Message 5 by Dan Carroll, posted 02-13-2007 11:04 PM Dan Carroll has not replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 8 by RAZD, posted 02-14-2007 7:40 AM arachnophilia has not replied

Taz
Member (Idle past 3379 days)
Posts: 5069
From: Zerus
Joined: 07-18-2006


Message 7 of 301 (385049)
02-14-2007 12:15 AM
Reply to: Message 5 by Dan Carroll
02-13-2007 11:04 PM


Re: an oldie but a goodie
Q: what does the buddhist say to a hot dog vendor?
A: Make me one with everything.
OMG, I've been laughing at this for the last 5 minutes. I remember this from high school.
----------
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi hold up a sign on the side of a highway that says "The end is Near!!! Turn back now before it's too late!!"
A car speeds by and the driver yells out something. The 3 holy men could only hear "Go home you crazy..." A short time after the car passes, the 3 holy men could hear a loud tire screeching sound and a big crashing sound.
The rabbi turns to the other two and says, "Perhaps we should be a little more specific and tell people the bridge is out."

This message is a reply to:
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RAZD
Member (Idle past 1493 days)
Posts: 20714
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004


Message 8 of 301 (385108)
02-14-2007 7:40 AM
Reply to: Message 6 by arachnophilia
02-13-2007 11:54 PM


Re: an oldie but a goodie
Two men walked into a bar ... the third man ducked.

Join the effort to unravel AIDS/HIV, unfold Proteomes, fight Cancer,
compare Fiocruz Genome and fight Muscular Dystrophy with Team EvC! (click)


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAAmericanOZen[Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 6 by arachnophilia, posted 02-13-2007 11:54 PM arachnophilia has not replied

berberry
Inactive Member


Message 9 of 301 (385123)
02-14-2007 9:53 AM


Satan is Dead!
Yes friends, he was killed right there in the parking lot of New Hope First Baptist Church. Sorry to say we missed the funeral services, they were apparently held last May. Jesus has no doubt been charged with first degree murder, as the evidence seems pretty overwhelming.
Dig Satan's chalk outline.

W.W.E.D.?

Replies to this message:
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 Message 15 by kuresu, posted 02-14-2007 3:19 PM berberry has not replied

Omnivorous
Member
Posts: 4001
From: Adirondackia
Joined: 07-21-2005
Member Rating: 4.3


Message 10 of 301 (385127)
02-14-2007 10:07 AM
Reply to: Message 9 by berberry
02-14-2007 9:53 AM


Re: Satan is Dead!
My mother's favorite endearment to me was "You little devil!"
Most people I meet think I will, should, or ought to right now proceed to Hades: even my sweetie on occasion looks at me with big round eyes and says, "You are the devil!"--not always disapprovingly, I might add.
The reports of my death are greatly exagerrated.

This message is a reply to:
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subbie
Member (Idle past 1342 days)
Posts: 3509
Joined: 02-26-2006


Message 11 of 301 (385129)
02-14-2007 10:24 AM
Reply to: Message 9 by berberry
02-14-2007 9:53 AM


Re: Satan is Dead!
In lieu of flowers, the Devil's next of kin is requesting donations be sent to The Rev. Donald Wildmon c/o The American Family Ass'n.

Those who would sacrifice an essential liberty for a temporary security will lose both, and deserve neither. -- Benjamin Franklin
We see monsters where science shows us windmills. -- Phat

This message is a reply to:
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truthlover
Member (Idle past 4147 days)
Posts: 1548
From: Selmer, TN
Joined: 02-12-2003


Message 12 of 301 (385186)
02-14-2007 2:15 PM
Reply to: Message 5 by Dan Carroll
02-13-2007 11:04 PM


Re: an oldie but a goodie
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender says, "Is this some kind of joke?"
I have to ask.
The first time I heard this I laughed out loud and then giggled about it for a while. I liked it. Since then, I've told it 5 or 6 times, and I've gotten about half blank stares and half groans.
People usually laugh at my jokes. I'm not the best joke teller, but I'm not lousy at it, either.
Do people laugh when you tell them this one?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 5 by Dan Carroll, posted 02-13-2007 11:04 PM Dan Carroll has replied

Replies to this message:
 Message 14 by Dan Carroll, posted 02-14-2007 3:18 PM truthlover has not replied

nyenye
Inactive Member


Message 13 of 301 (385197)
02-14-2007 3:17 PM
Reply to: Message 1 by Archer Opteryx
02-13-2007 7:27 PM


Thought this was funny
o_O

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1 by Archer Opteryx, posted 02-13-2007 7:27 PM Archer Opteryx has not replied

Dan Carroll
Inactive Member


Message 14 of 301 (385198)
02-14-2007 3:18 PM
Reply to: Message 12 by truthlover
02-14-2007 2:15 PM


Re: an oldie but a goodie
No. They pause, look confused, then their eyes get kind of wide as they say, "Oh! Ohhhh, oh, that's awful." (By the end of this sentence, their eyes have ceased to be wide.)
Which is the exact reaction I'm going for, so that's okay.

"I know some of you are going to say 'I did look it up, and that's not true.' That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut."
-Stephen Colbert

This message is a reply to:
 Message 12 by truthlover, posted 02-14-2007 2:15 PM truthlover has not replied

kuresu
Member (Idle past 2601 days)
Posts: 2544
From: boulder, colorado
Joined: 03-24-2006


Message 15 of 301 (385199)
02-14-2007 3:19 PM
Reply to: Message 9 by berberry
02-14-2007 9:53 AM


Re: Satan is Dead!
so they are going to charge jesus?
good. no one's above the law in the US
(or so we like to tell ourselves)

This message is a reply to:
 Message 9 by berberry, posted 02-14-2007 9:53 AM berberry has not replied

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