I went to this new fast food restaurant today and ordered a burger, but when I received it and took a bite, god it tasted awful. I lifted the bap to investigate, and found a curly hair in there. I walked right up to the counter and was like “I demand to speak to the manager!” and the manager came up to me and was like “what’s the problem,” and I said “I’ll tell you the problem, there’s a hair in my burger, furthermore I suspect that it might be a pube. I demand some form of compensation!” He said, “I deeply regret that our burgers caused you such distress. I assure you we’ll compensate you fully, and as a gesture of our good will I’d also like to give you a quick tour of our kitchen, to show you just how splendidly we prepare food here.”
I thought, well he seems like a nice enough guy, I might as well take his tour and all that jive. So I followed him into the kitchen where he showed me exactly how they do things here. I couldn’t believe it, there was this truely disgusting man stood there wearing one of those big chef's hats, a pair of blue and grey striped trousers, and a fat hairy belly popping out of his string vest, and he was grabbing big bits of squashed meat and flattening them under his armpit to mould the meat into a patty.
“What is this place?!” I said, “I’m going to the police about this, I’m going to tell everyone what you lot are doing to people!” “Look I’m sorry,” replied the manager, “please don’t tell the police, look, how about a lifetime’s supply of donuts, fresh out of this kitchen?” "NO!"
The good stuff starts about half-way through, after the initial ranting.
Edited by Doddy, : No reason given.
"Der Mensch kann was er will; er kann aber nicht wollen was er will." (Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills.) - Arthur Schopenhauer
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The good stuff starts about half-way through, after the initial ranting.
My oh my, it was all good, Doddy.
Takes me back--I used to offer to trade the Mormons at the door a half hour of listening to them for a half hour of listening to me (variously, atheism, Buddhism, Satanism): they never accepted that.
Sometimes, just the red o' my eye was enough to send 'em packing.
Real things always push back. -William James
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"I know some of you are going to say 'I did look it up, and that's not true.' That's 'cause you looked it up in a book. Next time, look it up in your gut." -Stephen Colbert
Iron Maiden and the Door To Door Atheists In Salt Lake City,
Just one teensy little obvious and glaring error cries out for prompt and accurate correction: Iron Maiden does NOT make noise! They set beautiful literature to music, sometimes their own original compositions (which are often adaptations of classic works from other artistic forms. They've even got songs based on biblical passages. The Rime Of The Ancient Mariner is a superb adaptation of the Coleridge poem; although the story is intelligently condensed, the song still runs to some 13 mintues or so), many of the original poem lines are used verbatim. But if I had to select just one IM track that embodies both liberal and conservatives viewpoints it would be the one about the Battle of Blaclava, fought in the Crimean War and the basis for the celebrated Charge Of The Light Brigrade. Maiden's version is called The Trooper. The original poem was not so much adapted as retold from the perspective of one the soldiers who was killed mere moments before the historic victory was achieved. Iron Maiden is among the absolute finest rock bands in all of history. They're loud, to be sure, but if you'll give yourself the time to become familiar with them I don't think you'd be able to deny their musical and songwriting and perfomance genius.And once you get to the point of saying, "you know, I'm staring to like these guys, it's all over. You're a hardcore Maidenfan. Up The Irons!
That fundamental and monumental truth aside, this piece is very funny. Who is this guy? I wonder if he's ever done anything else on the subject of atheism.
What I take away from this, besides the excellent humor, is the suggestion - made by quirky example - that atheists really need to get themselves organized for serious political action. There was an article on one of the christian gay-hater sites the other day (the AFA's, for one, carried it) about how in recent years that college graduates who come from regular-church-going evangelical homes are losing their hate/faith at a rate of about 80%. Like everything else these liars for jesus report, that number should be considered suspect, but I think it's safe to assume that the number probably is indeed quite high, else the AFA wouldn't be wasting so much space on it (they've been blathering about it at a rapidly increasing pace over recent months and I think it's one of the few messages getting through to them that suggests that they are indeed losing the culture war they created) We atheists should organize ourselves and solemnly pledge to do everything in our power to drive that number to 100%, and come up with a stategy for destroying the faith and learned hatred of evengelical high school grads. Use billboards, radio and TV ads, press releases, virtually anything and everything that the evangelicals use to try force their morality on everyone else. For all their ignorance and hatred, these people are more media savvy than some of us want to give them credit for.
This is the type of thing I believe non-evangelical Christian denominations should be doing. But they aren't doing it, therefore they've left a void where hate speech directed toward immigrants, gays, women, science, you name it is going largely unchallenged. The haters are getting their message out and we aren't. That needs to change, quickly, and I think this video you posted makes that point implicit, but not quite sufficiently obvious.
Re: Iron Maiden and the Door To Door Atheists In Salt Lake City,
berberry writes:
Who is this guy?
His name is John Safran, and he's an Aussie like me. He's a film-maker and comedian.
That clip is from episode 5 of his 2004 series called John Safran vs God. It's absolutely hilarious, even if short (only 8 episodes). It even won the AFI award (Australian Film Industry) for Best Comedy Series.
"Der Mensch kann was er will; er kann aber nicht wollen was er will." (Man can do what he wills but he cannot will what he wills.) - Arthur Schopenhauer
Help inform the masses - contribute to the EvoWiki today!
Edited by Lithodid-Man, : Found another funny clip and didn't want to waste another post
Doctor Bashir: "Of all the stories you told me, which were true and which weren't?" Elim Garak: "My dear Doctor, they're all true" Doctor Bashir: "Even the lies?" Elim Garak: "Especially the lies"
Re: Iron Maiden and the Door To Door Atheists In Salt Lake City,
berberry writes:
that atheists really need to get themselves organized for serious political action.
First of all, practically all atheist organizations that I have ever heard of have never made it anywhere due to lack of support. But more importantly, it's generally a political suicide to ever proclaim yourself a god nonbeliever.
If there's one thing that is bleedingly apparent in our society is that the christians have fortified themselves too long and deep to be challenged.
quote:OKLAHOMA CITY ” The lawyer for a former Baptist church leader who had spoken out against homosexuality said Thursday the minister has a constitutional right to solicit sex from an undercover policeman.
The Rev. Lonnie W. Latham had supported a resolution calling on gays and lesbians to reject their "sinful, destructive lifestyle" before his Jan. 3, 2006, arrest outside the Habana Inn in Oklahoma City.
Authorities say he asked the undercover policeman to come up to his hotel for oral sex.
Now, here's what's interesting and funny enough to make me laugh for a long time before posting it here.
Fred Phelps issued a press release saying he was going to protest outside the South Tulsa Baptist Church.
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