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Author Topic:   Humor IV
Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 94 of 540 (484194)
09-26-2008 10:15 PM
Reply to: Message 93 by Hyroglyphx
09-26-2008 8:53 PM


Re: Science fail
is this person seriously suggesting that the rainbow is caused by environmental pollution rather than sunlight?

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 Message 93 by Hyroglyphx, posted 09-26-2008 8:53 PM Hyroglyphx has not replied

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 Message 95 by Rahvin, posted 09-26-2008 11:18 PM Phat has not replied

Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 187 of 540 (506145)
04-23-2009 4:45 AM
Reply to: Message 186 by Minnemooseus
04-23-2009 4:40 AM


Re: StereoGIF
So wheres the beef?

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 Message 186 by Minnemooseus, posted 04-23-2009 4:40 AM Minnemooseus has not replied

Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 198 of 540 (506757)
04-28-2009 7:13 PM
Reply to: Message 195 by subbie
04-26-2009 10:15 PM


Re: Funny, scary, sad, stomach turning.....
subbie writes:
I'm curious: I know many here are Christians, what's your reaction?
Its just humor. I dont find it particularly funny because I am as close to Jesus as i am to my Mother.. but I dont find it offensive either. Its funny how people go out of their way to dog Jesus. Probably because too many take Him so seriously!

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 Message 204 by Theodoric, posted 04-30-2009 11:28 AM Phat has not replied

Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 221 of 540 (509067)
05-18-2009 11:31 AM


Spanish Class
This was in an email to me:
A SPANISH Teacher was explaining to her class that in Spanish, unlike English, nouns are designated as either masculine or feminine.
'House' for instance, is feminine: 'la casa.'
'Pencil,' however, is masculine: 'el lapiz.'
A student asked, 'What gender is 'computer'?'
Instead of giving the answer, the teacher split the class into two
groups, male and female, and asked them to decide for themselves whether computer' should be a masculine or a feminine noun. Each group was asked to give four reasons for its recommendation.
The men's group decided that 'computer' should definitely be of the feminine gender ('la computadora'), because:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic;
2 The native language they use to communicate with other computers is incomprehensible to everyone else;
3. Even the smallest mistakes are stored in long term memory for possible later retrieval; and
4. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself
spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.
(THIS GETS BETTER!)
The women's group, however, concluded that computers should be Masculine ('el computador'), because:
1. In order to do anything with them, you have to turn them on;
2. They have a lot of data but still can't think for themselves;
3. They are supposed to help you solve problems, but half the time they ARE the problem; and
4.. As soon as you commit to one, you realize that if you had waited a little longer, you could have gotten a better model.
The women won.

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Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 415 of 540 (544915)
01-29-2010 12:42 PM


Funny, but true
This was an actual political spot run on TV in New Orleans. They are the only state I know where coroners are elected to their position.
Wonder what good Doctor Minyard did wrong? I can see it now:
"Dirt dug up on Minyard"...."The man has skeletons in his closet"....or maybe he just faces "stiff competition" for reelection!

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 Message 416 by New Cat's Eye, posted 01-29-2010 12:48 PM Phat has not replied

Phat
Member
Posts: 18262
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.1


Message 478 of 540 (549263)
03-05-2010 12:26 PM


Dont step in this!
A cowboy named Bud was overseeing his herd in a remote mountainous pasture in California when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.
The driver, a young man in a Brioni suit, Gucci shoes, RayBan sunglasses and YSL tie, leaned out the window and asked the cowboy, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Bud looks at the man, obviously a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing herd and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"
The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell notebook computer, connects it to his AT&T iPhone and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his locationwhich he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.
The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg , Germany .
Within seconds, he receives an email on his iPhone that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL database through an ODBC connected Excel spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry and, after a few minutes, receives a response.
Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet printer, turns to the cowboy and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."
"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Bud.
He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man tries to stuff it into the trunk of his car.
Then Bud says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"
The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Congressman for the U.S. Government," says Bud.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie Congressman, "but how did you guess that?"
"No guessing required," answered the cowboy. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of dollars worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep...Now give me back my dog!

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