1. Obtain one rocky planet with a surface gravity of at least 10 m/s2. 2. Apply h2o randomly until a majority of the surface is covered. If your water is staying gaseous, move farther away from the star, if it's freezing, move closer. Be sure to adjust the orbit for stability. 3. Add a layer of methane and ammonia, and H2, sprinkle hydrogen cyanide to taste. 4. Stir gently with a satellite of at least 20% the mass of the planet. If you don't have one available, feel free to pull a chunk off, The stirring will even it up after a while. 5. Be sure to turn the planet slowly, each part of the surface should be heated evenly. a good guide is one orbit to 350 rotations, give or take. 6. Let simmer. Feel free to watch, but it may take a few billion orbits to cook. 7. Unique flavors can be achieved by heating and freezing temporarily, feel free to experiment. 8. If you attempt to clean off a bad flavor, it probably won't work. experts recommend starting over.
I couldn't think of anything worthwile to say about Mighty Morphospecial Ecophenotypic Whatology to serve as a carrier for this in the Transitional Fossils Show Evolution in Process thread, where Nacho Man has badly bunged a study by Arnold & Parker, so I figured I would just toss it in here.
Jesus and Moses were playing golf one day on the Jack Nicklaus course in Montana. This course had a particularly difficult hole, and Moses expressed his doubts that Jesus could make the shot over the water.
"Watch this, Moses, I think I can do it," exclaimed Jesus. "I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, then so can I."
Moses rolled his eyes and let Jesus try. Sure enough, the ball splashed into the water. Moses parted the water for Jesus, who went in to retrieve his ball.
Jesus, however, was not ready to give up.
"I know I can do this, Moses -- I've seen Arnold Palmer do it, and if he can do it, then so can I."
True to form, however, Jesus' ball ended up back in the water. Moses parted the water, and Jesus went in to retrieve the ball.
"Look, Jesus," said Moses. "Try again if you like, but I'm not parting the water for you again."
"Fair enough, Moses," said Jesus. "But you know, I've seen Arnold Palmer make this shot, and if Arnold Palmer can do it, then so can I."
Once again, Jesus' ball was in the water. Jesus proceeded to walk upon the water to get it.
Another group of golfers came up behind Moses and saw Jesus walking on the water.
"Holy Cow!" one of them said to Moses. "Who does that guy think he is, Jesus ?"
"No," said Moses, rolling his eyes. "He thinks he's Arnold Palmer".