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Author Topic:   Humor IV
Suspended Member (Idle past 4141 days)
Posts: 4
Joined: 01-06-2009

Message 142 of 540 (493119)
01-06-2009 8:23 AM
Reply to: Message 141 by dwise1
01-04-2009 4:58 PM

Re: "An Atheist Meets God" and "God's Cool Designs"
Shrewd Investment
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that's parked on the street in front of the bank.
Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says:

"We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we're a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?"

"Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"

This message is a reply to:
 Message 141 by dwise1, posted 01-04-2009 4:58 PM dwise1 has not yet responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 143 by elianna, posted 01-06-2009 8:25 AM elianna has not yet responded

Suspended Member (Idle past 4141 days)
Posts: 4
Joined: 01-06-2009

Message 143 of 540 (493120)
01-06-2009 8:25 AM
Reply to: Message 142 by elianna
01-06-2009 8:23 AM

Re: "An Atheist Meets God" and "God's Cool Designs"
Giving Cats Pills

1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.

2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process.

3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with lef hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10.

4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden.

Edited by Adminnemooseus, : Aint telling.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 142 by elianna, posted 01-06-2009 8:23 AM elianna has not yet responded

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