Register | Sign In


Understanding through Discussion


EvC Forum active members: 63 (9162 total)
2 online now:
Newest Member: popoi
Post Volume: Total: 916,332 Year: 3,589/9,624 Month: 460/974 Week: 73/276 Day: 1/23 Hour: 0/1


EvC Forum ⇒ Side Orders ⇒ Coffee House ⇒

Define love (what is love?)

Thread ▼ Details

Email This Thread
Newer Topic | Older Topic
  
12Next
Author Topic:   Define love (what is love?)
riVeRraT
Member (Idle past 434 days)
Posts: 5788
From: NY USA
Joined: 05-09-2004

riVeRraT Posts Only
Message 1 of 17 (281446)
01-25-2006 8:03 AM

Well I heard some pretty wierd definitions of love since coming to this forum.
​
I would like if everyone just replyed to the op, for the first 25 replys and try their best at defining what love is, in THEIR OWN WORDS.
​
You can define different kinds of love if you like. i.e. the difference between loving your mother, or your lover, or the local chicken salad.
​
(coffee house I guess)
Replies to this message:
 Message 3 by Dr Jack, posted 01-25-2006 9:48 AM riVeRraT has not replied
 Message 4 by Hal Jordan, posted 01-25-2006 12:49 PM riVeRraT has not replied
 Message 5 by macaroniandcheese, posted 01-26-2006 10:27 AM riVeRraT has not replied
 Message 6 by 1.61803, posted 01-26-2006 4:32 PM riVeRraT has not replied
 Message 7 by ohnhai, posted 01-26-2006 5:01 PM riVeRraT has not replied
  
AdminNWR
Inactive Member

AdminNWR Posts Only
Message 2 of 17 (281472)
01-25-2006 9:44 AM

Thread moved here from the Proposed New Topics forum.
​
I suggest we avoid argument by dictionary quotes, and instead treat the topic as: What do you mean by "love"?
​
This message has been edited by AdminNWR, 01-25-2006 08:47 AM
​
To comment on moderation procedures or respond to admin messages:
  • Discussion of moderation procedures
  • Comments on promotions of Proposed New Topics
  • Thread Reopen Requests
  • Great Debate proposals
    • Replies to this message:
     Message 14 by Phat, posted 02-06-2006 10:19 AM AdminNWR has not replied
      
    Dr Jack
    Member
    Posts: 3514
    From: Immigrant in the land of Deutsch
    Joined: 07-14-2003
    Member Rating: 8.3

    Dr Jack Posts Only
    Message 3 of 17 (281473)
    01-25-2006 9:48 AM     		Reply to: Message 1 by riVeRraT
    01-25-2006 8:03 AM

    I do not believe it is possible to define Love, because I do not believe love is singular, binary, indivisible or consistent. Rather what we call love is a complex collection of emotions none of which are, in themselves, binary.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 1 by riVeRraT, posted 01-25-2006 8:03 AM riVeRraT has not replied
    Replies to this message:
     Message 8 by 1.61803, posted 01-26-2006 5:06 PM Dr Jack has not replied
      
    Hal Jordan
    Inactive Member

    Hal Jordan Posts Only
    Message 4 of 17 (281513)
    01-25-2006 12:49 PM     		Reply to: Message 1 by riVeRraT
    01-25-2006 8:03 AM

    Hi RiverRat!
    As there are different kinds of love (romantic and friendship for example), I would say that generally it is the state in which one initially feels a closeness to someone/thing possibly out of novelty, later replacing those feelings with an obligation toward the same someone/thing.
    ​
    That's not to say that the obligation is not heartfelt, but more of a sense of duty and respect. I think this defines my idea of erotic and brotherly love.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 1 by riVeRraT, posted 01-25-2006 8:03 AM riVeRraT has not replied
      
    macaroniandcheese 
    Suspended Member (Idle past 3946 days)
    Posts: 4258
    Joined: 05-24-2004

    macaroniandcheese Posts Only
    Message 5 of 17 (281725)
    01-26-2006 10:27 AM     		Reply to: Message 1 by riVeRraT
    01-25-2006 8:03 AM

    Jhn 15:13 Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
    ​
    Luk 6:35 But love ye your enemies, and do good, and lend, hoping for nothing again; and your reward shall be great, and ye shall be the children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the unthankful and [to] the evil.
    ​
    1Jo 4:18 There is no fear in love; but perfect love casteth out fear: because fear hath torment. He that feareth is not made perfect in love.
    ​
    1Jo 4:12 No man hath seen God at any time. If we love one another, God dwelleth in us, and his love is perfected in us.
    ​
    in the famous love chapter (hippies.) the word agape is used. it is defined brotherly love, affection, good will, love, benevolence.
    benevolence. let's have a go at that.
    An inclination to perform kind, charitable acts.
    1. A kindly act.
    2. A gift given out of generosity.
    and good will
    An attitude of kindness or friendliness; benevolence.
    Cheerful acquiescence or willingness.
    1st corinthians 13:1 If I could speak in any language in heaven or on earth* but didn't love others, I would only be making meaningless noise like a loud gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I had the gift of prophecy, and if I knew all the mysteries of the future and knew everything about everything, but didn't love others, what good would I be? And if I had the gift of faith so that I could speak to a mountain and make it move, without love I would be no good to anybody. 3 If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it;* but if I didn't love others, I would be of no value whatsoever.
    4 Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud 5 or rude. Love does not demand its own way. Love is not irritable, and it keeps no record of when it has been wronged. 6 It is never glad about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. 7 Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.
    8 Love will last forever, but prophecy and speaking in unknown languages* and special knowledge will all disappear. 9 Now we know only a little, and even the gift of prophecy reveals little! 10 But when the end comes, these special gifts will all disappear.
    11 It's like this: When I was a child, I spoke and thought and reasoned as a child does. But when I grew up, I put away childish things. 12 Now we see things imperfectly as in a poor mirror, but then we will see everything with perfect clarity.* All that I know now is partial and incomplete, but then I will know everything completely, just as God knows me now.
    13 There are three things that will endure-faith, hope, and love-and the greatest of these is love.
    the kjv uses the word charity to translate this love. i think that's very telling. do we only give charity to those we like or those who fit the rules? no. we give charity to orphan and bastard and divorcee and jobless and homeless and drunk. we give charity to those whom society has disowned.
    Isa 1:17 Learn to do well; seek judgment, relieve the oppressed, judge the fatherless, plead for the widow.
    ​
    so what is love?
    love is having more concern for the well-being of another. does this mean that we let them do whatever they want because that will make them happy? no. does this mean that we control their every move because we know what is best for them? no. so how does it mean we ought to behave? rejoice in justice, hold no grudges, be patient, be kind, be gentle (above all, be gentle), be quick to forgive. love means loving and giving and letting god judge and grudge.
    ​
    Rom 12:19 Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but [rather] give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance [is] mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
    ​
    Mat 5:39 But I say unto you, That ye resist not evil: but whosoever shall smite thee on thy right cheek, turn to him the other also.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 1 by riVeRraT, posted 01-25-2006 8:03 AM riVeRraT has not replied
      
    1.61803
    Member (Idle past 1522 days)
    Posts: 2928
    From: Lone Star State USA
    Joined: 02-19-2004

    1.61803 Posts Only
    Message 6 of 17 (281792)
    01-26-2006 4:32 PM     		Reply to: Message 1 by riVeRraT
    01-25-2006 8:03 AM

    baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me no more..
    Love is a concious decision;
    a word we use to describe how we feel about something or someone that no other word suffices and yet it has a infinite meanings. We are forever redefining this word (love) in our interactions, relationships and connections with others. Love is the emotional mirror that reflects our needs, fears, desires. We are always one step removed from full attainment and yet forever intangled in our loves. Love is what we want, but do we ever know what that is.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 1 by riVeRraT, posted 01-25-2006 8:03 AM riVeRraT has not replied
      
    ohnhai
    Member (Idle past 5180 days)
    Posts: 649
    From: Melbourne, Australia
    Joined: 11-17-2004

    ohnhai Posts Only
    Message 7 of 17 (281800)
    01-26-2006 5:01 PM     		Reply to: Message 1 by riVeRraT
    01-25-2006 8:03 AM

    Love in it different flavours is essentially the same thing.. ”It’ is a particular emotional state in the brain of the person experiencing love. This state is defined by a particular chemical balance and combined with memories of the subject.
    ​
    In many cases love is also associated with gratification. You love that flavour of ice-cream because you get pleasure from eating it - you tend not to love things that you dislike or don’t get gratification from.
    ​
    You love certain people because you gain pleasure from their company. The stronger the feelings of contentment you get from interacting with that person the more likely you are to profess a level of love for them.
    ​
    There are different levels/types of love because there are many subtle different levels and types of contentment. You love your parents in a certain way because they tend to represent safety, protection and that comforts and contents you in a different way to the way to love your partner, and thus the love is of a different flavour.
    ​
    You love your children fiercely because it’s a hard wired response geared toward protection. Pride, contentment, gratification, protection are what drive parental love.
    ​
    Love is chemical, mental and physical but none the less real as a thing to be experienced.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 1 by riVeRraT, posted 01-25-2006 8:03 AM riVeRraT has not replied
    Replies to this message:
     Message 9 by 1.61803, posted 01-26-2006 5:21 PM ohnhai has replied
      
    1.61803
    Member (Idle past 1522 days)
    Posts: 2928
    From: Lone Star State USA
    Joined: 02-19-2004

    1.61803 Posts Only
    Message 8 of 17 (281803)
    01-26-2006 5:06 PM     		Reply to: Message 3 by Dr Jack
    01-25-2006 9:48 AM

    :::sigh::::**I love you man***::::Ah,,hemm.. Im ok now.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 3 by Dr Jack, posted 01-25-2006 9:48 AM Dr Jack has not replied
      
    1.61803
    Member (Idle past 1522 days)
    Posts: 2928
    From: Lone Star State USA
    Joined: 02-19-2004

    1.61803 Posts Only
    Message 9 of 17 (281806)
    01-26-2006 5:21 PM     		Reply to: Message 7 by ohnhai
    01-26-2006 5:01 PM

    Hi ohnai..
    .you tend not to love things that you dislike or don't get gratification from.
    Hmmmm...I don't know.
    It seems to me that one of the worse and un-gratifying feelings is unreturned love. How many times have we heard..."I hate you..but I love you...but I hate your F@#&%#ing guts!! But I love you."
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 7 by ohnhai, posted 01-26-2006 5:01 PM ohnhai has replied
    Replies to this message:
     Message 10 by ohnhai, posted 01-27-2006 8:01 PM 1.61803 has not replied
      
    ohnhai
    Member (Idle past 5180 days)
    Posts: 649
    From: Melbourne, Australia
    Joined: 11-17-2004

    ohnhai Posts Only
    Message 10 of 17 (282046)
    01-27-2006 8:01 PM     		Reply to: Message 9 by 1.61803
    01-26-2006 5:21 PM

    You dint need to tell me about unrequited love.. I have suffered with at malady for close on twenty years.
    ​
    It isn’t the negative thing you make it out to be. Sure it can hurt like hell sometimes but mostly it’s a towering beacon of strength in my life. A positive thing. Its worse when I’m away from her but even then any contact, mail or IM sets my sprits flying. To hear her laugh in another room is joy I can’t describe. To walk down the street with her hand in mine is contentment it’s self. The simple thought of her can make me happy.
    ​
    Although I know I will never be with her in the sense of partners, my relationship with her is more a source of joy than pain. It gives more than it takes.
    ​
    As to the comments about “I hate your guts” and all that , these are comments usually made in a fit of pique and are usually transitory and of the moment. But don’t forget that we are a complicated and oft twisted creature and for some they derive pleasure form anger and confrontation, they get gratification from the things that are bad for them or deemed ”wrong’
    ​
    In short, if you ”love’ something then there will be something positive you gain from interacting with that thing. Be it your favourite book, film, food, location or person. The different flavours of love are simply a reflection of the thing and the gratification that you derive from it. The emotional high derived from a particularly brilliant segment of a movie or concert will be different than an Ex-Pat Brit discovering a local supply of Jaffa-Cakes, will be different from being around that good friend. It’s all love, and driven by pleasure and gratification and the chemical reactions to those stimuli.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 9 by 1.61803, posted 01-26-2006 5:21 PM 1.61803 has not replied
      
    riVeRraT
    Member (Idle past 434 days)
    Posts: 5788
    From: NY USA
    Joined: 05-09-2004

    riVeRraT Posts Only
    Message 11 of 17 (283797)
    02-04-2006 12:39 AM

    Thats it?
    I would have thought more people would have a crack at this.
    Oh well.
    Replies to this message:
     Message 12 by macaroniandcheese, posted 02-05-2006 7:13 PM riVeRraT has replied
      
    macaroniandcheese 
    Suspended Member (Idle past 3946 days)
    Posts: 4258
    Joined: 05-24-2004

    macaroniandcheese Posts Only
    Message 12 of 17 (284241)
    02-05-2006 7:13 PM     		Reply to: Message 11 by riVeRraT
    02-04-2006 12:39 AM

    Re: Thats it?
    well see. love is the most inherently subjective things there is. i may view myself as loving someone when no one else would agree that that is what i feel. some people separate lust and love and others do not. some separate brotherly love from erotic and so forth. others don't.
    ​
    as a result, not everyone is willing to share what they think of love. especially with someone they fear might judge them for that definition.
    ​
    i suppose the easiest definition for love is the connection between humans that allows for the production and survival of offspring. we love our mate so that they will help us bear offspring. we love our friends so that they will help us feed our offspring. we love our children and seek to protect them.
    ​
    but then there are those who love with no respect to offspring. and is their love thus any less? perhaps this question is what keeps people from responding to your thread.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 11 by riVeRraT, posted 02-04-2006 12:39 AM riVeRraT has replied
    Replies to this message:
     Message 13 by riVeRraT, posted 02-06-2006 7:59 AM macaroniandcheese has replied
      
    riVeRraT
    Member (Idle past 434 days)
    Posts: 5788
    From: NY USA
    Joined: 05-09-2004

    riVeRraT Posts Only
    Message 13 of 17 (284332)
    02-06-2006 7:59 AM     		Reply to: Message 12 by macaroniandcheese
    02-05-2006 7:13 PM

    Re: Thats it?
    as a result, not everyone is willing to share what they think of love. especially with someone they fear might judge them for that definition.
    ​
    I have never judged anyone in my entire posting history, except by mistake once.
    ​
    I have opinions, but I do not judge.
    ​
    But I feel you have judged me in thinking that. It doesn't seem to matter what I write or say now, you will just somehow give a provoked response, and that sucks. I think that is what prejudice is based on. In other words, you have made up in your mind that we would never be able to get along.
    ​
    My definition of love is seeing people that way God sees them. When I look at people, I try to look past all that may have happened in their lives, and see them as a child.
    ​
    I look at people spiritually, and it helps me to see past any indeffierences we might have.
    ​
    When I look at your pictures, and read your words, I see awesome stuff, and I get a great picture of just who you might be. A wonderfully smart person with many talents, and a zest for life. I love the artist in you. I ignore the fact that you may be going against me, for good reasons or bad, and see that child in you, and that is what makes me love you.
    ​
    I feel that is God's love, and I think I have felt that from God. That made me understand love a little better, unconditional love, and I think God wants me to love people in that way.
    ​
    That is how I love people outside of my wife, kids and, family.
    ​
    Enjoy.
    ​
    perhaps this question is what keeps people from responding to your thread.
    ​
    Because with all the "logical" minds here, they will try to rationalize love, and how it evolved. Or maybe, when people think about it, there just is no rational answer to it. Maybe you just can't put it into words. Yes, I've heard of love being described as a survival instinct. I don't buy into that one fully. It doesn't work logically.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 12 by macaroniandcheese, posted 02-05-2006 7:13 PM macaroniandcheese has replied
    Replies to this message:
     Message 15 by macaroniandcheese, posted 02-06-2006 3:48 PM riVeRraT has not replied
      
    Phat
    Member
    Posts: 18292
    From: Denver,Colorado USA
    Joined: 12-30-2003
    Member Rating: 1.1

    Phat Posts Only
    Message 14 of 17 (284364)
    02-06-2006 10:19 AM     		Reply to: Message 2 by AdminNWR
    01-25-2006 9:44 AM

    Dissing Mr. Dictionary
    nwr writes:
    ​
    I suggest we avoid argument by dictionary quotes, and instead treat the topic as: What do you mean by "love"?
    ​
    What! You wanna diss Mr. Dictionary? My reliable pal...my altar ego extraordinaire???
    ​
    Hmmmmph!
    Making ME come up with my OWN definition of Love....
    ​
    Im gonna have to ask God about THIS one.....
    ​
    God?
    ​
    What does Love mean?
    ​
    Huh???
    ​
    Loving the unlovely? Yuck.... helping out the least of these?....
    whats in it for me?
    ​
    Who?
    ​
    YOU??? Oooohhhh I seeeeee
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 2 by AdminNWR, posted 01-25-2006 9:44 AM AdminNWR has not replied
      
    macaroniandcheese 
    Suspended Member (Idle past 3946 days)
    Posts: 4258
    Joined: 05-24-2004

    macaroniandcheese Posts Only
    Message 15 of 17 (284433)
    02-06-2006 3:48 PM     		Reply to: Message 13 by riVeRraT
    02-06-2006 7:59 AM

    Re: Thats it?
    I have never judged anyone in my entire posting history, except by mistake once.
    ​
    I have opinions, but I do not judge.
    ​
    But I feel you have judged me in thinking that. It doesn't seem to matter what I write or say now, you will just somehow give a provoked response, and that sucks. I think that is what prejudice is based on. In other words, you have made up in your mind that we would never be able to get along.
    ​
    i was giving a possible reason why more people didn't respond. i have decided nothing of the sort; but i am aware of the possibility that some may regard your opinions as something to give them pause before they respond. that is all. i think some people have different ideas of what 'judgement' means than that which you hold.
    This message is a reply to:
     Message 13 by riVeRraT, posted 02-06-2006 7:59 AM riVeRraT has not replied
      
    Date format: mm-dd-yyyy
    Timezone: ET (US)
      
    12Next
    Newer Topic | Older Topic
    Jump to:


    Copyright 2001-2023 by EvC Forum, All Rights Reserved

    ™ Version 4.2
    Innovative software from Qwixotic © 2024