From "Farm Show" newpaper:
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries with great pleasure." - Clarence Darrow
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book. I'll waste no time reading it." - Moses Hadas
"He can compress the most words into the smallest idea of any man I know." - Abraham Lincoln
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it." - Mark Twain
And one other from my memory (general purpose job recommendation):
"After you get to know George, you will think as much of him as I do." - Unknown source
Also:
"His departure left a much needed void." - Unknown source
Moose
Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U
Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment.
"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham
"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith
"I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but I'm highly ignorant about everything." - Moose