Etiquette Peeves

OK...here's another peeve thread.I just got back from seeing a movie and I have to wonder where people were raised. Didn't nobody's mama ever teach them manners?Of course, there's the cell phone issue. Alas, until they start putting jammers in the theaters, that will never, ever go away. They even run the little ad asking you to please turn it off, but it's ignored.No, what I'm talking about are the simple things of "inconveniencing yourself slightly in order to make everybody else's life better."It was a fairly empty theater. But what does this woman do? She sits down RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME! Excuse me! You do see that I am here, don't you? There's an entire theater to sit in and you have to sit right there? Just one seat over to the left or right would be better. Now I have to handle your head sticking up in the bottom of the screen (not to mention that I can't put my feet up on the back edge of the armrests because you're using them and that would be impolite.)Not to be outdone, a minute later comes some idiot walking across my row. It seem that his friend had found a seat on the right side of the theater but he had entered on the left side (I was in the center.) So rather than walking around the front or the back of the theater or even going just two rows down where there was a completely empty row to walk across, he decides to force everybody who is already sitting in that row to have to adjust themselves to let him by. Hello! Are you even paying attention to your surroundings?And that woman who sat in front of me? I guess she didn't care too much for her drink because at the end of the movie when she got up, it was still pretty much full and she spilled it all over the floor. She made a comment about it being mostly full to the other guy in the same row as her (who I deliberately did not sit behind).Now, I sit through the credits and she left when they started. So I got to see whether or not she had told anybody about the mess she had made. Of course she didn't. I was the one who told the cleaning crew that someone had spilled a full soda in the theater and that they had better get a mop before the next showing.Speaking of credits, I sit through them. For those of you who don't, I understand your desire to get out of the theatre but for the sake of those who do, get out of the frickin' way! Yes, in a crowded theater, it will take some time to clear everybody out and there will be some bunching up. But some of these guys know this and wait for the aisles to clear by just standing there at their seat. They get up, stretch, and then start jabbering away at their friend...which means they have to turn around...and see me trying to read the credits around them. Get out of the way! Sit down or move over but don't stand there!That last one dovetails with the previous one about making me move to let you by. Not many people read credits. If you and I were sitting off the left with me more left than you, consider leaving your row to the right where it is empty rather than forcing me to adjust myself and let you by and miss the credits that your body is blocking. Consider why I haven't gotten up to look around you and become aware of your surroundings.Is it really that difficult to think about the consequences of our behaviour?And this doesn't even mention the "heterosexual seat" that twenty-something males seem to require between them when seeing a movie. A friend and I went to see Mission: Impossible when it first came out and, of course, it was crowded. We managed to get a seat in the front row right next to a seat that was apparently broken in that it had a little sandwich board stuck in it with a notice saying the seat was broken.So these two guys come in and there are two seats next to each other on the other side of the sandwich board. What does he do? He picks up the stand, puts it in between him and his friend, and sits in the broken seat.Dude, I'm really sorry about your penis that you can't handle the possibility that a crowd of a few hundred people who don't know you from Adam might have the possible inkling that you and your friend are buttbuddies. It couldn't possibly be the reason that you're sitting together is because the show's sold out. No, it's gotta be because you're a cocksmoker, right? Hmmm...so what about the fact that you're sitting next to another man on the other side? "Oh, but I'm not with that guy?" And we're supposed to know that because of what, precisely? How awfully full of yourself you must be to think that an entire theater is engrossed by your entrance and will take note of whom you sat next to.

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Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!

I hear they have these things called "DVD's" that you can get, where, apparently, they make movies show up on your TV.I agree that audiences are assholes nowadays. In the old days, you learned to be an audience in the theatre, with other people - as a result, audences were well-behaved.Nowadays people learn to be an audience at home, shouting at their TV. It's not a surprise that people forget to think of others in this situation.But unless you can afford your own home theatre, you're pretty much stuck seeing movies with assholes. At best you can go see matinees - the earlier the better, I've found. Most people don't watch movies at 2 in the afternoon on a tuesday.

three phone peeves. from work.one: i don't care if you walk around the store talking on your cell phone. i might make fun of you if you use an ear-piece because, frankly, from one side you look like a crazy person. but please. please. hang up when you check out. i'm sorry it's such an inconvenience to have to interrupt your conversation that you've been having for the last half an hour in a public place, but you're just being rude and holding up the line. yes, i will just stand there and wait for you to shut up, and everyone behind you will wait too. my job requires communication.two: if you work with me, please don't walk around talking on your phone the entire shift.three: when you call me, and ask what came out, when your movies are due, when we close, what your late fees are, or whatever stupid repetitive question, please don't hang up as soon as i tell you. a thank you would be nice, or at least let me finish saying "have a nice day."

Maybe I expect too much since I was an executive secretary, but people need to learn how to present themselves in an office and on the phone.Right now I function as a temporary secretary for the athletic department at the local university and fill in for the secretaries when necessary.An athlete walks in and talks like he is too weak to move his mouth, so it is hard to understand him. He says, "I'm s'posed to meet coach." Well that's nice, but who are you and which coach? There are four in the office. So I have to ask, which coach and his name.Is it so dificult to be articulate and say, "My name is Blah Blah and I'm here to see Coach So and So."?Talk clearly and announce yourself!

omg, I had the same problem as a hotel night desk clerk. People come in and mumble. It happened so often I thought my hearing was going. I literally couldn't hear what they were saying because they wouldn't talk loud and clear enough.It would get worse when the mumblers would go off and come back drunk at 2 in the morning. Great plan, asshole. You're already too stupid to use English properly, so it was a really fuckin' good idea for you to go an impar what little intelligence you already had with alcohol. Seriously. People would come up to me and grunt and expect me to understand their needs.

ah the wonders of the internet - I don't need to interact with people at the shops, the hotel or the video store.All my interaction is purely social.

Anybody who talks as if they are better then anybody REALLY makes me want to think violent thoughts about them. It's goign to get them someday, but for now we must ignore.

crashfrog responds to me:

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I hear they have these things called "DVD's" that you can get, where, apparently, they make movies show up on your TV.

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Assuming that I have one (which up until recently, I didn't...I simply don't rent movies as that's what cable is for), watching a DVD on a television does not compare to watching it at the theater. My TV simply isn't that big. I don't have the audio equipment to match what the theater has. I go to the movies because they offer me something I cannot get on my own, as you say:

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But unless you can afford your own home theatre, you're pretty much stuck seeing movies with assholes. At best you can go see matinees - the earlier the better, I've found. Most people don't watch movies at 2 in the afternoon on a tuesday.

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This was a matinee...well, twilight, but still...I think we had a total of 40 people in a theater that sat a few hundred. This theatre was anythig but crowded. There's one theatre near me where I try to go as they have a modified arena seating plan. There are some rows of general stalls in front, a wide walkway, and then tiers of stadium seats. The nice thing is that the last row of the stalls is set up for those in wheelchairs in that there are two or three seats on either end and two or three seats right in the middle (depending upon the size of the specific theater). The one in the middle is just far enough back that it's perfect and with only one or two people sitting next to you, you don't have to worry about people wandering down your row, you always have at least one armrest, there's nobody behind you to kick your seat because of the walkway, etc., etc. It's great. Alas, I didn't go to that theatre that day.

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Most people don't watch movies at 2 in the afternoon on a tuesday.

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I'm usually at work at that time, however. Yes, I know that there will always be rude people and that when it gets right down to it, I'm going to have to adjust my life in order to avoid them, but it shouldn't have to be that way.

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Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!

Rrhain writes:

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Assuming that I have one (which up until recently, I didn't...I simply don't rent movies as that's what cable is for), watching a DVD on a television does not compare to watching it at the theater.

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I agree, but if your going to watch a DVD it can be more rewarding on your computer, if the hardware is available and sufficient. You won't quite get hi-def, but you'll get a dramatically better image from DVD on your computer monitor than on even the best conventional TVs. The closer you sit to the monitor the better, assuming your refresh rate is at least 75hz or so.I'm tempted to buy one of the new ATI All-In-Wonder video cards that provide over-the-air reception of hi-def signals on your computer. Most monitors today are good enough to provide hi-def video. The cards are only two hundred bucks a pop, much cheaper than stand-alone hi-def sets. The only drawback is that they can't be connected to cable or satellite receivers. The hi-def broadcast stations nearest me are in Jackson and I'm not sure whether the coverage is good here. The nature of hi-def is such that you have either perfect reception or no reception at all.I've had some terrible experiences at the cinema, too, and I find that matinees are much more satisfying, particularly late morning or early afternoon showings. It's cheaper, the lines aren't long and sometimes you have the screen to yourself.

I do sympathize.What do you suppose we can do about it? You're a bright guy, and I like to shoot my mouth off. Surely we can come up with something?

crashfrog responds to me:

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What do you suppose we can do about it? You're a bright guy, and I like to shoot my mouth off. Surely we can come up with something?

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Well, ushers would be nice. But that requires constant output of resources. Perhaps one of those ignored advertisements at the beginning of the movie. But it'd have to be much more abrasive than the gentle, "Pretty please with sugar on top!" versions they use for cell phones. We could get them all in. We could call it, "You shouldn't need a bodyguard to go to the movies":-----
An average guy walks into an empty theater and finds a seat. The next guy comes in and sits right in front of him. Yes, we need these to be males because the point is that by speaking up, you stand a good chance of provoking a fight and we are going to try and intimidate the idiots. Two bodyguards walk in on both sides behind the new guy, pick him up, and put him down one seat over. They ask him, "Didn't you see the guy behind you? Don't sit right in front of him. Show some respect, punk."Next one is the guy with friends on one side of the theatre who decides to walk across the entire row. As he approaches the trio (who have now sat beside the average guy), the one on that side stands up seemingly as if to let him by but in actually to force him back down the row. "Why are you walking down this row when you could have walked your fool behind around the front of the theater to get to your friend? Here, let me escort you," and he drags him around and forcibly seats him next to his friend asking, "Does this belong to you?"The theater stars to fill up and a the rows become full. The picture starts and during it, the cell phone of a guy sitting next to the trio goes off and the fool actually answers it! The bodyguard snatches the phone out of his grip, says into it, "He'll have to call you back later. He's apparently lost his phone," and chucks it off to the side where we can hear it shatter. "You didn't really need to take that call while in the middle of a crowded theater, did you?"Cut to title:You shouldn't need a bodyguard to see a movie.Mind your manners!
-----It's a rough draft, of course. Perhaps we could emphasize the "idiot might pick a fight if you make a comment" angle for the last two by having the bodyguards not directly there. When the row-walker comes along, he can snottily ask, "Excuse me," and then the bodyguard can make his appearance. The average guy can quietly ask the cell phone guy not to take the call and get blown off which then results in the bodyguard leaning in from behind.

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Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!

If you ever open a chain of cinemas I want to know about it.

berberry responds to me:

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If you ever open a chain of cinemas I want to know about it.

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Alas, sitting in front of someone and walking across a row with people in it when you don't have to aren't really ejectable offenses in the real world. But with ushers, you could sorta put that attitude out in the air. When sitting someone and the theater is empty, the usher can help you find your seat and ask, "Do you mind if this person sits right in front of you?" Hopefully, that will be enough to get the person to say, "I wouldn't want to sit right in front of someone." The ushers can watch the folks as they come in and look out for those who are going to sail across crowded rows when they don't need to and call out, "Please don't walk across a crowded row, sir/ma'am. The front/back of the theater works just as well and you won't have to disturb everybody in the row to get where you need to go."

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Rrhain
WWJD? JWRTFM!

I like it, but lets make the patron and his bodyguards be Mafia guys, because that makes it funnier.When he takes the phone, have him crush it with his hand. Way cooler.

you guys should never go and watch bollywood movies - I went to a few with some indian friends and people are talking and wandering the cinema as will.It's a weird experience for those of us who are use to sitting in silence...