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Author Topic:   Your First Ever EVC Post
Huntard
Member (Idle past 432 days)
Posts: 2870
From: Limburg, The Netherlands
Joined: 09-02-2008


Message 7 of 140 (529625)
10-09-2009 9:50 PM


Any tips on how to retrieve my first ever message? Since I've been posting to multiple threads since my first joining (after months of lurking). I'm not sure what my first ever post was....

Thanks in advance!


I hunt for the truth

I am the one Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.
-Lyrics by Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead


Replies to this message:
 Message 8 by Adminnemooseus, posted 10-09-2009 9:59 PM Huntard has responded

  
Huntard
Member (Idle past 432 days)
Posts: 2870
From: Limburg, The Netherlands
Joined: 09-02-2008


Message 9 of 140 (529631)
10-09-2009 10:10 PM
Reply to: Message 8 by Adminnemooseus
10-09-2009 9:59 PM


Re: How to find
Adminnemooseus writes:

The way to start is to look around the topics at the bottom of your message index.


Yes, I figured as much. However, the very first message it gave me was: Message 1, of which I'm pretty sure is not my first ever message here. So, any tips on being sure which was ones first message? (perhaps I'm too intoxicated rght now to figure it out, if you think that's the case, just leave it, and I will have another look tomorrow morning. )


I hunt for the truth

I am the one Orgasmatron, the outstretched grasping hand
My image is of agony, my servants rape the land
Obsequious and arrogant, clandestine and vain
Two thousand years of misery, of torture in my name
Hypocrisy made paramount, paranoia the law
My name is called religion, sadistic, sacred whore.
-Lyrics by Lemmy Kilmister of Motorhead


This message is a reply to:
 Message 8 by Adminnemooseus, posted 10-09-2009 9:59 PM Adminnemooseus has not yet responded

  
Huntard
Member (Idle past 432 days)
Posts: 2870
From: Limburg, The Netherlands
Joined: 09-02-2008


Message 66 of 140 (572077)
08-03-2010 2:20 PM
Reply to: Message 63 by ringo
08-03-2010 1:54 PM


Re: Yesterday All My Troubles Seemed So far Away
ringo writes:

The first member that I remember seeing was the lovely and talented Nosy Ned.


Speaking of Ned, whatever happened to him? I haven't seen him around in quite a while.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 63 by ringo, posted 08-03-2010 1:54 PM ringo has acknowledged this reply

  
Huntard
Member (Idle past 432 days)
Posts: 2870
From: Limburg, The Netherlands
Joined: 09-02-2008


Message 79 of 140 (578262)
09-01-2010 8:59 AM
Reply to: Message 78 by Straggler
09-01-2010 8:50 AM


Re: Crash Vs Jar - 20,000 Posts - OMG!!!
Straggler writes:

I know!!!!! Two years absence and still the next closest competitor (our old sparring partner RAZD I believe) is a few thousand posts behind either of them.


No, it's Nator. And since she is back now too....

Here's the list, sorted by posts.

{AB"}: What's even more amazing perhaps is that Jar joined more than a year after Crash, and two years after Nator.

Edited by Huntard, : Added {ABE} bit


This message is a reply to:
 Message 78 by Straggler, posted 09-01-2010 8:50 AM Straggler has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 82 by Straggler, posted 09-01-2010 12:47 PM Huntard has not yet responded

  
Huntard
Member (Idle past 432 days)
Posts: 2870
From: Limburg, The Netherlands
Joined: 09-02-2008


Message 91 of 140 (578350)
09-01-2010 3:19 PM
Reply to: Message 83 by Straggler
09-01-2010 12:52 PM


Re: Yesterday All My Troubles Seemed So far Away
Straggler writes:

A sub topic of this thread could be "My first post that got me suspended"

I of course have never (yet) been suspended.

(**Straggler gazes angelically at the halo suspended over his head**)


Pff, holier than thou cricket-batting wanker.

This is my first and only suspension so far, I think Moose missed the point a bit, but ah well.

It's a string of 3 messages:

Message 80:

Huntard writes:

hide
Well, you got me convinced, now I will slaughter my neighbours and take their daughter as my wife as is clearly your will!

All Hail The Lord Chimp!
/hide

{Non-topic blather belatedly hidden - Adminnemooseus}

Message 83:

Huntard writes:

hide

Jumped Up Chimpanzee writes:

You are annointed with my spirit and I officially appoint you as my 4th soothsayer, after Tom, Dick and Harry.


Huzzah!

I will soon (this evening) write a book (a few sentences) about my exploits, and how they were sanctioned by The Lord Chimp. This will add credibility to his claim of Ultimate Authority!

All Hail The Lord Chimp!
/hide

{Non-topic blather belatedly hidden - Adminnemooseus}

And finally, the pièce de résistance, Message 85:

Huntard writes:

hide
Let here be recorded those exploits and endeavours of The 'Tard of the Hun, and how through his dealings with The Ultimate Authority The Lord Chimp, Great is His anger, he went and conquered a little patch of land known as the Jenssen's place.

For 'twas upon a day that was sunny and warm, with the golden sun, set in the sky by the greatest of authorities, The Lord Chimp, short is His fuse, I, 'Tard of the Hun, was upon the green meadow before my estate.
And yonder did I look, and behold such a sight that I had not seen in days.
'Twas the neighbours daughter, known as Violet to some, and pumpkin to others, who, upon this hot and heavy day, did frolic to and fro.
Her robes of colourful flowers did a-flutter in the wind.
Ah yes, the wind, blown around the Earth by none other than that most authoritative figures of all, The Lord Chimp, his temper be terrible, and doubtless, it blew to reveal to mine eyes the wonderful stilts that did bear aloft this creature of wonderful visage.
For this I gave praise to Him, and hoped he would bless me more, for one thing was clear to, as cleasr as the purest water, giving praise to some being so much elevated above us as to be Ultimate in authority, must be pleasing to Him.
And He, being pleased, would shower me with the most radiant of blessings, for He is a just authority, though he angers swiftly, 'tis always righteous fury.
For a few days did the sun burn my features, and red did I become.
Red be the favourite colour of The Lord Chimp, for why else turn his devoted follower so?
I undertook on oath to him, saying, "Lord Chimp, If I forswear the use of water as drink for three more days, wouldst thou grant me my desires?"
And 'lo! So did he answer with an evaporating puddle, for did not the puddle represent my sin, being taken by his glorious authority?
Then one cooling night, when the inner fire of His blessing burned so much I could not sleep, 'twas as if my skin was alight like a thousand candles, I had a vision.
A vision of flowers turning red, of flame consuming wood, of love finally recognized and of respect finally won!
I knew what The Lord Chimp, his rage be consuming, wanted me to do!
I did waste not a drop of sand from my hourglass and did hurry as the wind towards the land I was to conquer.
With a ferocious shout I broke down their most foul barrier, it had protected them for long, but against the blessings of an authority such as The Lord Chimp, furious is his mood, there is no safe haven.
Upwards my feet carried me ever higher, I was being held aloft by His great want.
For wanting this he did, he told me so in every fiber of my body, and I did tingle with excitement.
Shouts, the man looked surprised, and that look forever holds his visage, for he liveth no longer, the axe was too sharp.
His wife did a-shriek, but silence soon filled this dark cool house, already, the great rage The Lord Chimp had filled me with was subsiding, I was ever closer to what he wished me to do.
Entering the final room, my goal lay in sight, I took her up in my arms, still dripping with the life of her captors, and set her free, to be my wife.
Now, she lives in m basement, and is happy and content that the great authority did select her to be the start of his new commune of most loyal followers.

So I say unto thee all, do not doubt that there is but one authority, the ultimate authority, The Lord Chimp, berserking ever on.

------

Liner notes:

Well, that should settle this debate over who is the ultimate authority once and for all. And don't criticize this, it only took me about ten minutes to write, so no quality is guaranteed. Oh, and The Lord Chimp will curse you if you speak ill of his followers.
/hide

{Non-topic blather belatedly hidden - Adminnemooseus}


This message is a reply to:
 Message 83 by Straggler, posted 09-01-2010 12:52 PM Straggler has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 92 by Straggler, posted 09-01-2010 4:22 PM Huntard has not yet responded
 Message 95 by Meldinoor, posted 09-01-2010 4:29 PM Huntard has responded

  
Huntard
Member (Idle past 432 days)
Posts: 2870
From: Limburg, The Netherlands
Joined: 09-02-2008


Message 99 of 140 (578394)
09-01-2010 5:13 PM
Reply to: Message 95 by Meldinoor
09-01-2010 4:29 PM


Re: Yesterday All My Troubles Seemed So far Away
Meldinoor writes:

I find it hard to believe that someone who (presumably) doesn't speak English as a first language could wax so poetically (and in 10 minutes!).


Why thank you kind sir. No, English is not my first language, but really, I haven't encountered a Dutchman yet who doesn't speak it to some degree. Although, admittedly, not as well, as I do. (god, I sound so arrogant now. ). Of course, watching nothing but English cartoons subbed in Dutch (like Transformers, GI Joe, MASK, and probably some other stuff too) in my youth was a great contributor to that (on a side note, most series now are dubbed, they're dumbing down our kids!)

It was pretty damn funny too.

I aim to please.
This message is a reply to:
 Message 95 by Meldinoor, posted 09-01-2010 4:29 PM Meldinoor has not yet responded

  
Huntard
Member (Idle past 432 days)
Posts: 2870
From: Limburg, The Netherlands
Joined: 09-02-2008


Message 133 of 140 (579010)
09-03-2010 10:36 AM
Reply to: Message 132 by onifre
09-03-2010 10:31 AM


Re: Yesterday All My Troubles Seemed So far Away
onifre writes:

I think I've enjoyed teasing that cigarette too much, but it's now running the risk of looking less and less amusing.


I thought you just wanted to compare him to an unpleasant old lady?
This message is a reply to:
 Message 132 by onifre, posted 09-03-2010 10:31 AM onifre has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 134 by onifre, posted 09-03-2010 10:44 AM Huntard has not yet responded

  
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