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Author
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Topic: Humor V
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 94 of 647 (572046)
08-03-2010 12:21 PM
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Reply to: Message 90 by onifre
08-03-2010 10:29 AM
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Re: The Next President of the US of A!
onifre writes: And I'm not joking, I really would LOVE to see this dude at least run for president.
I really don't think the rest of the world would notice the difference. Basil is exactly how many of us see the U.S. all the time.
Life is like a Hot Wheels car. Sometimes it goes behind the couch and you can't find it.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 90 by onifre, posted 08-03-2010 10:29 AM | | onifre has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 95 by onifre, posted 08-03-2010 5:01 PM | | ringo has replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 97 of 647 (572110)
08-03-2010 7:16 PM
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Reply to: Message 95 by onifre
08-03-2010 5:01 PM
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Re: The Next President of the US of A!
quote:
The American thought, 'I hope we enter another tunnel so I can slap the Canadian again!'
You neglected to mention that the Canadian was holding a hockey stick, which was why the American was afraid to hit him with the lights on.
Life is like a Hot Wheels car. Sometimes it goes behind the couch and you can't find it.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 95 by onifre, posted 08-03-2010 5:01 PM | | onifre has seen this message but not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 98 by kjsimons, posted 08-03-2010 8:24 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 118 of 647 (572906)
08-08-2010 1:24 PM
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Reply to: Message 115 by Taz
08-08-2010 12:01 PM
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Re: Scammer
Taz writes: Obviously, it's a very complex plan.
That's why I'm immune to scammers: I'm not smart enough to understand the plan (or card games).
Taz writes: What should I write back now?
Invite him to help you rob a casino in Las Vegas. Ask him if he has nine buddies who are interested. Whatever you do, don't go to Iraq because you'll wind up having to take a group of refugees across the border into Iran and that isn't as easy as it sounds.
Life is like a Hot Wheels car. Sometimes it goes behind the couch and you can't find it.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 115 by Taz, posted 08-08-2010 12:01 PM | | Taz has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 119 by Taz, posted 08-08-2010 1:59 PM | | ringo has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 124 of 647 (572916)
08-08-2010 3:36 PM
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Reply to: Message 121 by Taz
08-08-2010 2:26 PM
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Re: Scammer
Taz writes: Percy, just thought you might want to know. I just received the following message from the member malry10.
I hate to break it to you but you weren't her first choice. She sent me that same message more than a week ago. Now I'm beginning to wonder if there wasn't somebody before me too.
Life is like a Hot Wheels car. Sometimes it goes behind the couch and you can't find it.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 121 by Taz, posted 08-08-2010 2:26 PM | | Taz has replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 125 by Taz, posted 08-08-2010 5:36 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 133 of 647 (574353)
08-15-2010 1:07 PM
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Reply to: Message 132 by Percy
08-15-2010 8:22 AM
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Re: a few years back...
Percy writes: The material itself was not the strongest, but in my experience it's the comedic persona that is most important.
I remember seeing George Carlin on TV years ago. After the initial applause died down, he opened his mouth as if to say something (funny) but then he paused. He opened his mouth again, then paused again and people started to snicker. He stood there for what seemed like five minutes, about to say something but never actually saying anything and he had the audience rolling in the aisles. George Carlin had some funny things to say and some profound things to say but he was at his funniest when he was just being George Carlin. Edited by ringo, : Spellman.
Life is like a Hot Wheels car. Sometimes it goes behind the couch and you can't find it.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 132 by Percy, posted 08-15-2010 8:22 AM | | Percy has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Re: Calling all Ray Bradbury fans and Sci-Fi lovers
One of my favourite Ray Bradbury stories, The Pedestrian, is about a guy who gets arrested for walking.
Life is like a Hot Wheels car. Sometimes it goes behind the couch and you can't find it.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 141 by bluegenes, posted 08-20-2010 8:19 AM | | bluegenes has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 155 of 647 (576663)
08-25-2010 12:42 AM
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Reply to: Message 153 by Tram law
08-24-2010 8:50 PM
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Tram law writes: A nun of the above. A nun the less. A bar nun.
That reminds me of a chemistry joke: orthodox, paradox and metaphysicians. (Aren't chemists hilarious?)
Life is like a Hot Wheels car. Sometimes it goes behind the couch and you can't find it.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 153 by Tram law, posted 08-24-2010 8:50 PM | | Tram law has not replied |
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 156 by nwr, posted 08-25-2010 1:23 AM | | ringo has not replied | | | Message 202 by Rrhain, posted 09-03-2010 1:38 AM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 162 of 647 (576930)
08-26-2010 1:57 PM
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Reply to: Message 160 by Tram law
08-25-2010 12:32 PM
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Tram law writes: Every time I hear the word Paradox I think it sounds like a pair of ducks.
A pair of docs could be quacks.
Life is like a Hot Wheels car. Sometimes it goes behind the couch and you can't find it.
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 160 by Tram law, posted 08-25-2010 12:32 PM | | Tram law has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 285 of 647 (582502)
09-21-2010 5:17 PM
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Smilies in the Bible
I came across this while posting in another thread:
quote:
Rom 2:14-16 For when the Gentiles, which have not the law, do by nature the things contained in the law, these, having not the law, are a law unto themselves: Which shew the work of the law written in their hearts, their conscience also bearing witness, and their thoughts the mean while accusing or else excusing one another In the day when God shall judge the secrets of men by Jesus Christ according to my gospel.
I had to turn smilies off in the post so jaywill wouldn't think I was making fun of the Bible. I wonder what Paul was trying to tell us (nudge nudge wink wink). More proof that the Bible authors were ahead of their time.
"It appears that many of you turn to Hebrew to escape the English...." -- Joseppi
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Re: What happens when you mix humour and theoretical physics
My favourite joke was "V. Gates".
"It appears that many of you turn to Hebrew to escape the English...." -- Joseppi
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 290 by cavediver, posted 09-23-2010 5:31 PM | | cavediver has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 308 of 647 (583525)
09-27-2010 8:26 PM
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Reply to: Message 307 by onifre
09-27-2010 5:26 PM
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Re: You can't make this shit up...
onifre writes: I know it's not right to laugh at death, but fuck, the owner of Segway's dies on a Segway rolling his dumb-ass into river?
I laughed when Jim Fixx died. I'm wondering how Keith Richards could die that would make us laugh. (A cookie for anybody except oni who gets the reference.)
"It appears that many of you turn to Hebrew to escape the English...." -- Joseppi
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 307 by onifre, posted 09-27-2010 5:26 PM | | onifre has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Re: You can't make this shit up...
Hint: It's a joke made by oni's avatar.
"It appears that many of you turn to Hebrew to escape the English...." -- Joseppi
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 309 by Theodoric, posted 09-27-2010 8:29 PM | | Theodoric has replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Message 316 of 647 (583575)
09-28-2010 1:40 AM
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Reply to: Message 313 by Buzsaw
09-27-2010 10:26 PM
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Re: Evolution: The Monkey's Viewpoint
Buzsaw writes: If man evolved, the ornery cuss, for sure, he didn't evolve from us.
When your relatives pretend they don't know you, do you take the hint?
"It appears that many of you turn to Hebrew to escape the English...." -- Joseppi
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 313 by Buzsaw, posted 09-27-2010 10:26 PM | | Buzsaw has not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Re: Hawkins
That's what you get from unnatural cohabitation.
"It appears that many of you turn to Hebrew to escape the English...." -- Joseppi
| This message is a reply to: | | | Message 321 by Omnivorous, posted 10-01-2010 3:00 PM | | Omnivorous has seen this message but not replied |
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ringo
Member (Idle past 437 days) Posts: 20940 From: frozen wasteland Joined: 03-23-2005
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Re: Franken-steen! Damn you, Franken-steen!
Dawn Bertot to jar: "Of course your club and mine differ Eienstien..."
Ol' Dawn Bertot had a farm, O-I-E-I-E.
"It appears that many of you turn to Hebrew to escape the English...." -- Joseppi
| Replies to this message: | | | Message 339 by Omnivorous, posted 10-06-2010 8:40 PM | | ringo has seen this message but not replied |
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