Humor V

I caught all the monkey business.I figured that the pass count was a smokescreen, and that they would tell me the count anyway. So I watched everything but the passes, but made a fair guess at 14.That reminds me of Ken Kesey wowing the research team when , on request, he could tell precisely when a minute had passed despite a heavy dose of LSD. He had noted his heart rate when it was measured earlier and counted beats to determine one minute.Conclusion: We monkeys are sneaky and hard to measure.

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

For Ms. Schrafinator, wherever you are: This next one is for Phil Plait: Many, many thanks to xkcd.com

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

Superior observers notice the black-shirted team member leave.You're just good

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

Yeah, I had to cheat to see it.

You know, I hardly even notice the damned things anymore.

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

Now that's funny!

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

Didn't everybody?

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

I have nightmares that it's Woody Allen.*shiver*Edited by Omnivorous, : No reason given.

If Woody didn't want us to smoke it, He shouldn't have created it.I figure the serpent really said, "Hey baby--wanna blunt?"I mean, who gives it up for an apple?

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

He already doesn't believe in himself.But if he were God, it might matter to somebody.

Hopefully they call him Woody for a reason, and he has something to live for...

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

That's not completely fair. So far as we know, only Mary claimed it was immaculate.

And how about all those cherubim and seraphim?

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Maybe what happens in heaven, stays in heaven.

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Edited by Omnivorous, : Angel added by edit.

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

Whoa, Nellie uh...I hope that's a Nellie, though why I should seems obscure.But we all know the real heaven is best illustrated by a northern European, blue-eyed Jesus with chestnut locks and Lolita-like cherubim. You're just quoting that clearly figurative language because you're a horned devil.Meh. The snake gets all the best lines.OK, I've played Woody's advocate long enough. I'm gonna go back to hanging with the pagans.Edited by Omnivorous, : Lolita-like cherubim: same words, different order.Edited by Omnivorous, : Gee, I wish I'd said cherubimbos.

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello

Huh.I guess one out of three ain't bad.

With Exodus' historicity and Wyatt's Wheels again under discussion, I'm reminded of the Biblical story, especially where one of Pharaoh's magicians throws down his staff and turns it into a snake.As a child, I wondered what god had given the magician this power; surely not Yahweh, obviously, and certainly not Satan, since he was the serpent, so...? Sounded like a theological problem to me, and I treasured those.I grew up around snake handlers. They were common in Harlan County, where I had family, and occasionally visited our neighborhood of mostly Appalachian transplants in Indy.Raising the spirit on those summer nights could get pretty hot. It went something like this:

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Have you ever been to an American wedding? Where's the vodka? Where's the marinated herring?!
-Gogol Bordello