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Member (Idle past 1025 days) Posts: 1800 From: Prague, Czech Republic Joined: |
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Author | Topic: It's a World Cup year! | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||
Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
Now that I'm back in the states, it's time to talk shit, but first, lets watch that goal again. When are you next out of the country? Can I buy you a ticket?
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
When are you next out of the country? Can I buy you a ticket? Yes you may. Fly me to England. Tony Hayward, blow the second rig ....
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
This was the expert pundit's comment on BBC radio:
"I've just seen that disallowed goal for the US again - and not only was there no foul by a US player, there are probably two penalty-kick offences being committed by the Slovenian defenders. Shocking decision." Bad luck. Welcome to the roller coaster of supporting your team at the World Cup. But I think you'll still go through, providing England don't make any more fuck ups.
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
...a thick condom — transparent, with rows of barbed teeth on its inside surface If England produce another "performance" like the one against Algeria, the players should be made to wear these. Or better still, make them wear them during the next game; it might make them run around a bit more lively.
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
Who else really feel sorry for North Korea? Lost to Portugal by... drum roll... 7 goals. I've heard that games aren't shown live in North Korea, as they won't allow their people to see them losing. I'd really love to know what excuse the North Korean authorities will come up with for not allowing their people to see the game against Portugal. Will they even tell them the score? Mind you, I think our government should start adopting the same tactics. Here are the results so far, according to the People's Republic of England: USA 0 ENGLAND 10 (Robert Green makes "save of century") ALGERIA 0 ENGLAND 27 SLOVENIA 0 ENGLAND 3856
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
Whose next? Tell me the score now. I need to know. Do we annhilate Germany in the final after trouncing Brazil in the semis? Here is the latest news from the Democratic People's Democratic People's Democratic Republic of Ingerlund: It was decided by FIFA that England are so good that all the other nations had to combine into a "Rest of the World Team" for the final. It was also decided that England were only allowed to play Robert Green on his own, and the Rest of the World were allowed to field 22 players in their team, and given a 44 goal head start. After 90 minutes and extra time, the score was 44-44 and a penalty shoot-out ensued. Green scored from the first penalty, after which they had to all move to the other goal as he had broken the net - and the other goalkeeper. He was asked to take it a bit easier for the remaining 2 penalties, which were all that was necessary, as he saved the first 3 taken by the Rest of the World with his feet while lying on the grass reading Kierkegaard's Concluding Unscientific Postscript to Philosophical Fragments. England have been given the World Cup to keep and the tournament has been abandoned forever as there is no chance of England ever failing to win again. Robert Green was shot at dawn the next day, for humiliating the nation by failing to win the match in normal time. And now, the weather...
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
RE: Worst Football Dives Ever - Ham Actors
Good stuff! It's the ones who fall down like they've been shot but then get straight up again and carry on playing that really amuse me. If you're going to try and con the ref, you've got to have the courage of your convictions and see it through to the end. The show must go on, luvvies, and all that. But seriously, it makes my blood boil that the governing bodies don't do anything to stop this. It's ruining a great sport. They could end this nonsense overnight. I'm not a fan of having refereeing by video replay during the game, it would ruin the flow, but these sort of incidents could be looked at after the game. Any player who is clearly guilty of a "simulation" should be banned - for a LONG time. Who could complain about that? Why can't they sort it out? And anyone who rolls over on the ground more than 1 revolution should be sent off. Nobody who is really injured would roll over and over on their injury. When you're badly hurt you lie still. And another thing - if you're hurt so badly that the physio has to come on and treat you, you should go off the pitch for at least 2 minutes of treatment. If you need treatment, you need treatment. If players knew their side would be a player short for a few minutes, it ought to stop them feigning injury. We see the same problems year after year and nobody does anything about it. It's pathetic! Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest.
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
They could also double the refereeing staff: one referee on each side of the field, and one line judge on each side at each end (for 4 in total). They tried this in one of the club competitions this year - I think it was the Europa Cup. They had extra officials at each end of the pitch. I don't how much of an improvement it may have been overall, but I saw one match where they still missed things that were very obvious to TV viewers. I don't think there's an easy answer to it. The nature of the sport means that the ball and players move around the pitch very quickly. It's very difficult for the officials to spot everything on the pitch, and would spoil the game if it were stopped for video analysis. And not everyone agrees with decisions even when they watch the replays several times. As an aside, one rule I'd like to see changed, and that would make the officials' job just a tiny bit easier, as well as make the game more exciting, is that it should not be possible to be offside directly from a free-kick. It's the only deadball situation where you can be offside, but surely it's the one where you should have most advantage.
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
You would never see a Nazi Swastika at any major sport event in the United States. We have neo-nazi's, but they are generally driven far underground to rural places. To be at a mainstream sport behaving that way would be suicide. Here's a nice video of the wholesome American sports fans: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SnB5vqObkLw
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
They weren't mad at him for being gay, they were mad at him for acting like a ridiculous asshole. Sooo far less humorous than Borat. I totally agree that Bruno wasn't nearly as funny as Borat. It was a very weak and contrived attempt to cash in on the Borat success, and it's hard to laugh at a character you can't like at all. I think most British people see cheerleaders as ridiculous and very camp, and I think that was part of the point he was making, aside from the obvious sexism. However, I take the points made about American sports culture and tradition. God knows we have enough ridiculous and camp traditions of our own. We're now having to endure all the bowing and curtseying to royalty at Wimbledon. Personally, I'd love to see Bruno in there in a ball girl uniform (not for that reason!), but I guess that wouldn't go down well with a lot of tennis fans. Or then again, who knows? If a bird lands on Centre Court, most tennis fans laugh their heads off as if it's the most hilarious moment of all time.
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
JUC says: aside from the obvious sexism. Artemis says:because there was more men cheering in that video than women? No. Because cheerleaders are all scantily clad attractive young women. Why not have a bunch of scantily clad men, gay or straight, leading the cheering for their team? But from what you and Oni have said, I accept the fact that, although they may appear ridiculous to my eyes and ripe for making fun of, I understand that they are obviously an integral part of American sports culture, and that may explain, at least in part, why the crowd was so upset.
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
The tension mounts........ (I have no finger-nails left as it is and cannot see them growing back by Sunday) Have no fear. Enjoy the game. All will be good.
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
A young, enthusiastic, naive JUC said: Have no fear. Enjoy the game. All will be good. An old, grey, wizened JUC says: "Fuck."
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
Good luck to your team. I'd like to see Holland do well. You've started well without attracting too much attention. Dark horses.
I suppose this is as good an opportunity as any to ask, but I've never known why you have 2 completely different names for your country, neither of which seem to relate to the word Dutch. (I don't even know if "Dutch" is a Dutch word or an English one.) Please cure my ignorance.
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Jumped Up Chimpanzee Member (Idle past 4943 days) Posts: 572 From: UK Joined: |
Hope that helped a bit. Yes, thanks, that was interesting. Didn't need to hear how your navy once whooped us, though; we're feeling bad enough as it is.
Anything else you'd like to know? Yes. How can England get into the final of either the World Cup or Euro Championship? This question is open to any of those nations who seem to manage this on a regular basis. (At least once every 20 years.) Meanwhile: Why did the chicken cross the road? FIFA: "The chicken did not cross the road."
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