Humour VI

I am sure that between us we can conjure up something suitable for the toilet....... Hmmmmmmmm

I wrote the following ditty in response to Message 338. But that thread was all serious and stuff. So I didn't post it. Anyway here it is. The Spirituality Masterclass: Sit back. Relax. Take a break from reality.
Time for us all to get a little spirituality.
Tranquility and inner peace.
Providing a much needed mental release.
EvC posses all in attendance.
Hoping to experience full on trascendence.
Sam Harris and Oni are gonna teach us some yoga.
Harris butt naked. Oni in a toga.
The whale song is playing. The candles are lit.
Oni about to start class. Harris looks like he's having a fit.
What is that smell? Oni enquires.
It's Harris's pubes. His balls are on fire.
Holy shit!! Dude sat down on a candle.
RAZD pulls the extinguisher handle.
"I'm OK" Harris winces with pain.
Nothing some meditation can't contain.
Bluegenes thinks he needs medical attention.
Harris says "No. I must achieve Nirvanic ascension".
Everyone settles. The class resumes.
It's really hard to ignore the rancid fumes.
"Right" says Oni "We'll try a new technique"
I first came across this one only last week
Left leg like this. Right leg like that.
Now over the head with all the grace and poise of a cat.
"There you see" beams Oni "That wasn't so hard"
Before toppling over like a house of cards.
Harris looks ill. His bollocks are charred.
That poor sucker is gonna have some serious scars
Meanwhile Oni has hit his head and is seeing stars.
Dr Adequate declares "There guys are fucking retards"
Cavediver gets up to make his way out.
As he leaves he is compelled to shout.
"I came here for a spirituality master class"
"Instead we have rancid pubes and a guy who needs a plaster cast".
Now the others are leaving fast.
Keen to leave this spirituality master farce.
Please don't go cries Oni. Oh help! Oh fuck!
I can't untie myself. My legs are stuck.
Oni walks sideways on his hands like a crab.
Strags shakes his head. He thought yoga would be drab.
Percy and Mod try to untie the human knot.
Oni's toga isn't hiding a lot.
Needless to say Nirvana wasn't achieved.
Lucky to escape that place with no-one bereaved.
Had to dislocate Oni's knees to get him out of his fix.
He will never now walk without the aid of sticks.
Harris was eventually castrated and is undergoing HRT.
Such are the dangers of spirituali-ty.
But if you ever want to leave your troubles behind.
You ever need a chance to unwind.
Don't let the hilarity pass. Of attending a Harris and Oni spirituality masterclass.
Just don't let those candles anywhere near your ass.Edited by Straggler, : No reason given.

You are juvenile. And it is hilarious.But more to the point - No reaction to my rhyme entirely dedicated to you earlier upthread?Have I managed to offend the Oni-ister?

Dude - GO FUCK YOURSELFHopefully you are now less happy than before and will thus die sooner.Happy now?

Good. Fuck you again then.Happy yet?(This could go on forever so I will stop here unless you are now suffering happiness of Earth risking proportions)

Cooool!! I would love to have the opportunity to live in NY for a while. Fun fun place. For the sake of art there is no such thing as "too far". Even if it involves castrating Sam Harris. If the rhyme had demanded it would have been you Right on Earth brother. Right on.