Any Yank who's traveled in the UK can relate to the breakfast and bar measure complaints.
I needed a guide book that told me how to say, "Oh fercrissake, just sell me the fucking bottle!" and, "Turn the goddam egg, dammit, turn the goddam egg!"
In a polite way. Couldn't find one.
Lovely people, though. I think they liked us.
"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
Any Yank who's traveled in the UK can relate to the breakfast and bar measure complaints.
I needed a guide book that told me how to say, "Oh fercrissake, just sell me the fucking bottle!" and, "Turn the goddam egg, dammit, turn the goddam egg!"
In a polite way. Couldn't find one.
If it is your beer that is short-measured then you are legally obliged to start a fight with the barman.
If you are feeling benevolent then you do have the option of firing a warning shot across the bows with: "What the fuck do you call that!". But if they don't apologise immediately then you must proceed with the punching.
Edited by Panda, : No reason given.
"There is no great invention, from fire to flying, which has not been hailed as an insult to some god." J. B. S. Haldane
There are two tried and tested Yank ways of accomplishing what you need in both circumstances.
Screw the egg.
As for the drink, I employed the tactics of the long distance drinker:
I regard the thimbleful of tawny liquor with some suspicion.
"That's my glass of whiskey, then."
"Aye."
I lift it to my lips like you would lift the frailest bit of windblown fluff (which is what it weighs) and sort of...snuffle...the whiskey from the thimble. I carefully replace the gossamer glass and gaze at it thoughtfully.
I pay and wave away a decent tip with no other complaint.
The next drink is better.
"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
Just adding a comment to the message chain, not a reply to you specifically...
Drink strength tends to vary in the US. Chain and normal-fare restaurants tend to have watered-down drinks, while upscale restaurants, at least around here, tend to have normal drinks, which when when you're used to the drinks at TGIF or Long Horn or Applebee's or Ruby Tuesday or Chile's taste incredibly strong.
Sometimes when I find a drink I really like I'll buy the ingredients and, following a recipe, attempt to make it at home. Invariably it is very strong.
I understand all the medieval tortures of Europe were, in fact, first devised for use on those who shorted tankards.
Here in Saskatchewan, forty-odd years ago, the government changed the regulation-sized draft glasses (that's regulation, mind you) from 7 3/8 oz to 7 1/4 oz - or vice versa, I can never remember which. Heaven help the bartender who shorted you on the regulation size of your beer. Part of my job was to unload 1000 cases of the new glasses.
Of course, our regulations are much more relaxed now. Pretty soon we'll even be able to have strippers and liquor in the same room.
I noted in the news yesterday that Canada had determined that higher alcohol prices reduced alcohol-related incidents, e.g., alcohol poisoning.
I fear for your pocket.
Now that I no longer frequent bars, perhaps I should write How to Cultivate Bartenders--an art I mastered years ago but now rarely employ.
If you drink more than twice at the same establishment, and you aren't getting especially good pours, you aren't doing it right.
(Not you, personnally, ringo: I have faith in your sage consumption.)
On occasion, I've sent a drink back with the waitress, explaining there must have been an error, since I ordered an alcoholic bevereage; usually works at the dining table; at the bar, not so much. Wait staff know where their tips come from, and God help the barkeep who gets between a waitress and her tip.
Btw, it isn't better in the U.S. I can enter any drinking establishment in the U.K. and feel confident of getting excellent ales, beers and spirits. It's more of a crap shoot in the U.S., though things have improved with the growing popularity of microbreweries.
One thing, though. That full breakfast? That ain't bacon.
"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
Just adding a comment to the message chain, not a reply to you specifically...
I could tell it wasn't a reply to me specifically--there was no accompanying warning.
Chain and normal-fare restaurants tend to have watered-down drinks, while upscale restaurants, at least around here, tend to have normal drinks
That's generally true, I think, deriving from profit motives and crowd control. You can sell a lot of watery drinks to the younger, more moderate income crowd; but serve them straight up measures, and you have brawls.
The older, sedate denizens of upscale restaurants are more likely to snooze than fight when plied with strong drink, and they have the wherewithal for call liquor and exotic cocktails. Plus, a few strong drinks, and you can't taste what's being passed off as haute cuisine. Drinking in any public establishment is like gambling in a casino--the house always has the edge.
What this country needs is another Whiskey Rebellion. I'm sure Faith would agree.
"If you can keep your head while those around you are losing theirs, you can collect a lot of heads."
I should have mentioned that when the glass size changed, the regulation price (that's regulation, mind you) changed from twenty cents to twenty-one cents - or vice versa, I can never remember which.
I don't know what it would be now. I haven't had a drink in almost a year and I can't remember the last time I bought one.
"You were not there for the beginning. You will not be there for the end. Your knowledge of what is going on can only be superficial and relative" William S. Burroughs
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