But what good is 20 more years added to a lifespan that has nothing promised,
Pose this question to 17 year old you regarding your father.
I cannot wrap my head around the pathetic nature of believers. You see all the bad in reality around you because you compare it to the fairy tales told to you about some mystical place with mystical beings. Go. Go out and look at nature. Look up at a clear night sky. See the wonder in the world and universe
with your own eyes that is right before you. Make this life count, the only one you can be 100% certain you have. Stop contemplating what
could happen when you're dead and gone.
To me, science is vapid and hollow.
Then existence is vapid and hollow because science describes our existence
in reality. Science isn't there to make you feel good: it's not supposed to and doesn't even try. If you hate your life so much (and it sounds like you do): make it better. But only YOU can do that with things in reality, not wishful thinking. If wishful thinking worked, there would be no sorrow, pain, suffering or wanting.
"Science is interesting, and if you don't agree you can fuck off." -Dawkins