I was born in 1939 when the world was still in black and white and didn’t see my first colors until I was 6. Even then, the only color spectrum I could see ranged from deep red to pale yellow and I only started to see greens, blues and violets around age 10.I remember the day I was born thinking what a complete waste of retinal cone cells. I understand that a large fraction of rural Americans can still only see black and white and are unaware that election maps show their states to be red.
I have stipulated in my will that I be cremated, and that during the cremation the funeral home organist is to play “smoke Gets in your Eyes”. Also, I stipulated that at said funeral no eulogies are to be given since I won’t be able to hear all those wonderful lies. The funeral director is just directed to read my last words: “I had a long and wonderful life with far more luck then I ever deserved and so if anyone spends more than five minutes bereaving my passing, I will return from the dead and hurt you”.