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Author Topic:   Humour VIII
dwise1
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Posts: 3768
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 3.9


(1)
Message 961 of 1092 (851238)
04-21-2019 11:31 AM
Reply to: Message 960 by Thugpreacha
04-21-2019 10:27 AM


Re: Easter Humor Continued
Not a joke, but rather a conversation a few decades ago.

At Hughes Aircraft, I shared my office with a Jewish bachelor. Every Thanksgiving, the company would give us a coupon for a frozen turkey at a major grocery chain. When we received our coupons, he remarked that he was going to give his turkey to his mother to cook for Passover dinner. I remarked that I had never heard of turkey for Passover. He said, "Everybody has turkey for Passover. What do you have for Passover?" I thought for a moment and answered, "Ham." He looked puzzled for a few seconds and then realized, "Oh, yeah."


This message is a reply to:
 Message 960 by Thugpreacha, posted 04-21-2019 10:27 AM Thugpreacha has acknowledged this reply

    
ringo
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Posts: 17403
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 2.6


(2)
Message 962 of 1092 (851262)
04-21-2019 2:13 PM
Reply to: Message 959 by Thugpreacha
04-21-2019 10:19 AM


Re: Rare Easter joke
It should be Jesus holding up the stone with one hand and taking a selfie with the other.

And our geese will blot out the sun.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 959 by Thugpreacha, posted 04-21-2019 10:19 AM Thugpreacha has acknowledged this reply

Replies to this message:
 Message 963 by dwise1, posted 04-21-2019 9:40 PM ringo has acknowledged this reply

  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 3768
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 3.9


(1)
Message 963 of 1092 (851272)
04-21-2019 9:40 PM
Reply to: Message 962 by ringo
04-21-2019 2:13 PM


Re: Rare Easter joke
And falling down the well he doesn't see because he's walking distracted.

This message is a reply to:
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Replies to this message:
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Theodoric
Member
Posts: 6658
From: Northwest, WI, USA
Joined: 08-15-2005
Member Rating: 4.2


Message 964 of 1092 (851273)
04-21-2019 10:05 PM
Reply to: Message 960 by Thugpreacha
04-21-2019 10:27 AM


Re: Easter Humor Continued
Always amazed how confident Christians are that they personally have some sort of insight and everyone else is wrong. Pretty much goes against the premise of your religion and it exposes the hubris inherent in your beliefs.

Facts don't lie or have an agenda. Facts are just facts

"God did it" is not an argument. It is an excuse for intellectual laziness.

If your viewpoint has merits and facts to back it up why would you have to lie?


This message is a reply to:
 Message 960 by Thugpreacha, posted 04-21-2019 10:27 AM Thugpreacha has responded

Replies to this message:
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Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12972
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.2


(3)
Message 965 of 1092 (851276)
04-22-2019 12:54 AM
Reply to: Message 964 by Theodoric
04-21-2019 10:05 PM


Re: Easter Humor Continued
Actually, I agree. I find myself becoming aware of my own arrogance and hubris at times and must fight to dampen it. I find that serving others humbles me. Its a lifelong process.

Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. ~RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith

You can "get answers" by watching the ducks. That doesn't mean the answers are coming from them.~Ringo

Subjectivism may very well undermine Christianity.
In the same way that "allowing people to choose what they want to be when they grow up" undermines communism.
~Stile


This message is a reply to:
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Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12972
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.2


Message 966 of 1092 (851284)
04-22-2019 8:43 AM
Reply to: Message 963 by dwise1
04-21-2019 9:40 PM


Re: Rare Easter joke
Keep in mind, however, that if you are blind you can see and if you claim to see you are actually blind. Or something like that.

Chance as a real force is a myth. It has no basis in reality and no place in scientific inquiry. For science and philosophy to continue to advance in knowledge, chance must be demythologized once and for all. ~RC Sproul
"A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes." ~Mark Twain "
~"If that's not sufficient for you go soak your head."~Faith

You can "get answers" by watching the ducks. That doesn't mean the answers are coming from them.~Ringo

Subjectivism may very well undermine Christianity.
In the same way that "allowing people to choose what they want to be when they grow up" undermines communism.
~Stile


This message is a reply to:
 Message 963 by dwise1, posted 04-21-2019 9:40 PM dwise1 has not yet responded

  
Heathen
Member
Posts: 1062
From: Brizzle
Joined: 09-20-2005


(4)
Message 967 of 1092 (851377)
04-23-2019 4:07 AM


Jesus Respawns, Activates God mode
https://newsthump.com/...7/jesus-respawns-activates-god-mode

Jesus Christ, Lord and Saviour of Mankind, has respawned after getting crucifragged on Friday.

Blaming the three-day wait on serious lag caused by a Virgin account, Jesus is understood to have spent three days of Hell in the lobby waiting to reconnect.

Christ described his connection speed as ‘so slow I may as well having been riding on a donkey’.

Members of Christ’s guild, The Disciples, are delighted by His return as they face defeat without their healer, although it is understood that Judas Iscariot has already ragequit and deleted his account for unknown reasons.

Jesus has promised to carry the whole team, and the entire server, saying that “When you could see only one digital footprint, that was when I was carrying you.”

Jesus’ involvement in the world has been mired in controversy since he joined. Readers may remember King Herod engaged in ‘aggressive spawn point camping’ when He first joined resulting in the deaths of thousands of noobs.

Critics of Christ say his success is down to using backdoor exploits built into creation, and accused him of multiaccounting.

“He’s playing three characters on one account,” said Beelzebub, Lord of the Flies.

“Father, Son and Holy Ghost as one player. How can that be fair?

“I hoped the banhammer they used to knock the nails in would be permanent, and I’m very concerned about favouritism and nepotism from the mods now to say the least.”

Christ has responded to the allegations by getting out his BFG – Big Fucking Gospel.

Edited by Heathen, : No reason given.

Edited by Heathen, : No reason given.


  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 3768
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 3.9


(5)
Message 968 of 1092 (851517)
04-26-2019 3:10 AM


Mrs. Betty Bowers, America's Best Christian: Evangelicals Breaking Up with Jesus
From YouTube:

"What's the difference between atheists and evangelicals? Atheists are honest about not following Jesus."


    
JonF
Member
Posts: 5522
Joined: 06-23-2003
Member Rating: 2.9


(3)
Message 969 of 1092 (851565)
04-28-2019 8:38 PM



  
JonF
Member
Posts: 5522
Joined: 06-23-2003
Member Rating: 2.9


(3)
Message 970 of 1092 (852400)
05-09-2019 8:20 PM



Replies to this message:
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Diomedes
Member
Posts: 910
From: Central Florida, USA
Joined: 09-13-2013
Member Rating: 2.9


(4)
Message 971 of 1092 (852409)
05-10-2019 8:48 AM


George Clooney's PSA for UDUMASS


  
ringo
Member
Posts: 17403
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 2.6


(1)
Message 972 of 1092 (852421)
05-10-2019 12:28 PM
Reply to: Message 970 by JonF
05-09-2019 8:20 PM


Russian ‘Spy’ Whale Who Defected To Norway Saves Woman’s Cell Phone

Maybe it was just cleaning up the ocean.

Edited by ringo, : Added quote.


Hippopotamus.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 970 by JonF, posted 05-09-2019 8:20 PM JonF has not yet responded

  
Minnemooseus
Member
Posts: 3763
From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior)
Joined: 11-11-2001
Member Rating: 3.4


(3)
Message 973 of 1092 (852439)
05-10-2019 8:14 PM


Personal reboot
Stolen from elsewhere.

"If I'm ever on life support - unplug me, wait 10 seconds and then plug me back in - see if that works."

Moose

ABE - Found another:

quote:
A blonde man was driving home, drunk as a skunk suddenly he has to swerve to avoid a tree, then another, then another.

A cop car pulls him over, so he tells the cop about all the trees in the road.

The cop says,

"That's your air freshener swinging about!"


Edited by Minnemooseus, : ABE.


Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U
Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment.

"Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham

"The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith

"Yesterday on Fox News, commentator Glenn Beck said that he believes President Obama is a racist. To be fair, every time you watch Glenn Beck, it does get a little easier to hate white people." - Conan O'Brien

"Politics is not the art of the possible. It consistts in choosing between the disastrous and the unpalatable." - John Kenneth Galbraith

"I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but I'm highly ignorant about everything." - Moose


    
RAZD
Member
Posts: 20155
From: the other end of the sidewalk
Joined: 03-14-2004
Member Rating: 4.0


Message 974 of 1092 (852651)
05-15-2019 7:58 AM


Appears Americans are underinformed ...
from facebook, ... but could not find it on https://civicscience.com/latest/

Reminds me of result to the question

What would you do if you found out your child was a homosapien?

Enjoy

abe: and yes he does mean bigoted, not just ignorant, as a later graph he cites shows 2/3rds Republicans picked "no" to only 1/3rd of democrats. He appears to be a writer for CivicScience ... but I still have not confirmed that.

abe2: it appears John Dick is the CEO of CivicScience
see https://www.dailykos.com/...c-numerals-We-have-some-bad-news

Edited by RAZD, : .

Edited by RAZD, : ..


we are limited in our ability to understand
by our ability to understand
RebelAmerican☆Zen☯Deist
... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ...
to share.


• • • Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click) • • •

Replies to this message:
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kjsimons
Member
Posts: 670
From: Orlando,FL
Joined: 06-17-2003


(1)
Message 975 of 1092 (852653)
05-15-2019 8:36 AM
Reply to: Message 974 by RAZD
05-15-2019 7:58 AM


Re: Appears Americans are underinformed ...
I took one of their polls and the following question showed up:

"Should schools in America teach the creation theory of Catholic priest Georges Lemaitre as part of their science curriculum?"

Now I was unaware before hand that his "creation theory"was the big bang until I googled him and it appears I wasn't alone in that. Only 20% of respondents clicked on the "yes" button for this question. 51% clicked on the "no" button, probably because of the "Catholic priest" vs "Science" wording of the question. I clicked on "yes".


This message is a reply to:
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