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Author Topic:   Humour VIII
Tangle
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Posts: 8113
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 3.1


(5)
Message 1246 of 1285 (883172)
11-09-2020 7:02 PM


Bush, Obama and Trump meet before God to be questioned.

God asks Bush, what do you believe in?

Bush replies, “ I believe in a free economy, a strong America, the American Nation, the rule of God and the law.”

God is impressed with Bush and says “Well, come sit in the chair on my right.”

God then goes over to Obama and asks him “What do you believe in?”

Obama replies, I believe in Democracy, helping the poor, world peace and doing right to all men without fear or favour.”

God is really impressed with Obama and says, “ Very good, come sit in the chair to my left.”

Finally God turns to Trump. ”What do you believe in Donald?”

Trump replies “I believe that you are sitting in my chair, you're fired!”


Je suis Charlie. Je suis Ahmed. Je suis Juif. Je suis Parisien. I am Mancunian. I am Brum. I am London.I am Finland. Soy Barcelona

"Life, don't talk to me about life" - Marvin the Paranoid Android

"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved."
- Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm.


  
AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 5802
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 3.0


(2)
Message 1247 of 1285 (883180)
11-11-2020 7:07 PM


Veteran's Day

Factio Republicana delenda est.
I am antifa.

  
PaulK
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Posts: 16812
Joined: 01-10-2003
Member Rating: 2.6


(3)
Message 1248 of 1285 (883227)
11-18-2020 4:22 PM


The Trump Presidential Library
Donald J Trump Library

A must see!

Visit the Covid Memorial! the Alt-Right Auditorium! Check out the Cocktail Menu at the Felon’s Lounge!


  
ringo
Member
Posts: 18985
From: frozen wasteland
Joined: 03-23-2005
Member Rating: 3.1


(1)
Message 1249 of 1285 (883307)
11-26-2020 12:00 PM


When you're little, you slip and fall on the ice and you cry because it's the end of the world. Luckily, the end of the world doesn't last long.

When you're a little older, you slip and fall on the ice and you say, "Hey, that's fun!" and you do it again on purpose.

When you get a little older, say pre-teen, you slip and fall on the ice and you're embarassed. You look around to see if anybody noticed.

When you get a little older, you slip and fall on the ice and you're angry. "Why doesn't somebody put some salt on that?"

When you get old, you slip and fall on the ice and before you get up you stop and check whether anything is broken. Do you have any new aches and pains that you didn't have five minutes ago?

You don't get any older than that.


"I've been to Moose Jaw, now I can die." -- John Wing

  
frako
Member
Posts: 2931
From: slovenija
Joined: 09-04-2010


Message 1250 of 1285 (883390)
12-04-2020 7:11 AM



Christianity, One woman's lie about an affair that got seriously out of hand

What are the Christians gonna do to me ..... Forgive me, good luck with that.


  
Tangle
Member
Posts: 8113
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 3.1


(2)
Message 1251 of 1285 (883579)
12-20-2020 9:45 AM



Je suis Charlie. Je suis Ahmed. Je suis Juif. Je suis Parisien. I am Mancunian. I am Brum. I am London.I am Finland. Soy Barcelona

"Life, don't talk to me about life" - Marvin the Paranoid Android

"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved."
- Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm.


Replies to this message:
 Message 1252 by dwise1, posted 12-21-2020 2:14 PM Tangle has not yet responded

  
dwise1
Member
Posts: 4542
Joined: 05-02-2006
Member Rating: 4.7


Message 1252 of 1285 (883585)
12-21-2020 2:14 PM
Reply to: Message 1251 by Tangle
12-20-2020 9:45 AM


Re: "It's a Girl!"
Actually, whenever you deal with parthenogenesis (AKA "Virgin Birth"), you find that that is the only possible outcome.

Copying from my own page on why the "H" in "Jesus H. Christ":

quote:
Virgin-birth, whose scientific term is Parthenogenesis, is real and has been observed in nature occurring mainly in some invertebrates, though it also occurs in some fish, amphibians, and reptiles, and very rarely in birds. But not in mammals, though. BTW, the genetics of gender in reptiles, for example, is quite different than in mammals (ie, X and Y chromosomes).

Depending on the actual parthenogenetic mechanism involved, if meiosis is not used then the offspring will be full clones of the mother. Since all the parthenogenetic offspring would be full clones of their mother, that would mean that they would also all be females. All of them.

Armed with that knowledge (and applying ample quantities of humor), we can clearly see a major problem that the Virgin Birth presents for basic Christian doctrine and tradition. Jesus could not have been a man, but rather had to have been a woman. Jessica Christ? National Lampoon magazine did tell her story in the December 1971 issue. Which means that Christian doctrine is a massive cover-up trying to hide that fact from us that the Christ was a woman.



Actually, researching back that story of Jessica Christ portrayed her as Jesus' pesky sister who had similar powers as his. I haven't found a reprint of that article, though there is a reprint of Son-o'-God comics, which also appeared with the "7th Seal of Approval" a number of times in National Lampoon.

BTW, on my page I examine Christograms, Christian religious symbols constructed out of the letters from the name, ΙΗΣΟΥΣ ΧΡΙΣΤΟΣ (or "(Ιησους Χριστος" in mixed case) -- though sometimes the letters get Latinized with "J" replacing "Ι" and "S" or "C" replacing "Σ". I started my research in this after seeing deliberately placed Christograms, "JHC", painted on the walls in an old chapel in Spain (in Spain!).

My conclusion is that the most likely origin of the "H" middle initial was from a misinterpretation of the use in Christograms of the eta ("Η", "η"), the "long e" sound (think of Spanish, French (ie, the "é"), or German vowels, not English vowels which are just plain weird). In developing this idea on my page, I present several examples of such Christograms, including one that you saw on the back of the Archbishop's vestments in the Coronation scene in The Crown (ie, with the miniscule eta ("η") with an extended stem that's topped with a cross bar forming a cross -- it's on my page).

I also note that objections to "Xmas" are both ridiculous and ignorant. That "X" is actually a chi ("Χ", pronounced like the German soft "ch" or the Spanish hard "j") which is the first letter of "Χριστος" from which we derive the English word, "Christ". And it has been used for nearly half a millennium as an acceptable abbreviation for "Christmas".

On that same note, I've seen someone make the observation that the ridiculous FOX News fake "War on Christmas" has ended in the UK with a victory. Sorry about that.

Edited by dwise1, : Slight formatting correction in the quote and minor coding corrections


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1251 by Tangle, posted 12-20-2020 9:45 AM Tangle has not yet responded

  
Pollux
Member
Posts: 272
Joined: 11-13-2011


(3)
Message 1253 of 1285 (883611)
12-25-2020 5:57 AM


Happy Saturnalia to everyone.
With the conjunction of Saturn and Jupiter your Saturnalia should be a Jovial one, not to mention Mercurial. I hope nothing Mars your Earthly delights, sing no iNept-tunes, catch nothing Venereal, and always watch Uranus.

  
AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 5802
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 3.0


(2)
Message 1254 of 1285 (883612)
12-25-2020 9:14 AM


May all your nightmares recede into daylight. And a grand Bah Humbug to all.

Factio Republicana delenda est.
I am antifa.

  
Tangle
Member
Posts: 8113
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 3.1


(4)
Message 1255 of 1285 (883739)
01-09-2021 3:56 PM



Je suis Charlie. Je suis Ahmed. Je suis Juif. Je suis Parisien. I am Mancunian. I am Brum. I am London.I am Finland. Soy Barcelona

"Life, don't talk to me about life" - Marvin the Paranoid Android

"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved."
- Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm.


Replies to this message:
 Message 1256 by AZPaul3, posted 01-09-2021 4:27 PM Tangle has not yet responded
 Message 1257 by kjsimons, posted 01-09-2021 5:21 PM Tangle has responded

  
AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 5802
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 3.0


Message 1256 of 1285 (883742)
01-09-2021 4:27 PM
Reply to: Message 1255 by Tangle
01-09-2021 3:56 PM


... and a muzzle.

Factio Republicana delenda est.
I am antifa.

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1255 by Tangle, posted 01-09-2021 3:56 PM Tangle has not yet responded

  
kjsimons
Member
Posts: 721
From: Orlando,FL
Joined: 06-17-2003


Message 1257 of 1285 (883745)
01-09-2021 5:21 PM
Reply to: Message 1255 by Tangle
01-09-2021 3:56 PM


Is this for all Americans or just the Red Hatters?

This message is a reply to:
 Message 1255 by Tangle, posted 01-09-2021 3:56 PM Tangle has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 1258 by Tangle, posted 01-09-2021 5:27 PM kjsimons has not yet responded

  
Tangle
Member
Posts: 8113
From: UK
Joined: 10-07-2011
Member Rating: 3.1


(1)
Message 1258 of 1285 (883746)
01-09-2021 5:27 PM
Reply to: Message 1257 by kjsimons
01-09-2021 5:21 PM


kjsimons writes:

Is this for all Americans or just the Red Hatters?


I think it's just the 74,222,958 idiots that voted for him.

And as that's 46.8% of those that voted they probably aren't willing to take the chance on any.


Je suis Charlie. Je suis Ahmed. Je suis Juif. Je suis Parisien. I am Mancunian. I am Brum. I am London.I am Finland. Soy Barcelona

"Life, don't talk to me about life" - Marvin the Paranoid Android

"Science adjusts it's views based on what's observed.
Faith is the denial of observation so that Belief can be preserved."
- Tim Minchin, in his beat poem, Storm.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 1257 by kjsimons, posted 01-09-2021 5:21 PM kjsimons has not yet responded

  
AZPaul3
Member
Posts: 5802
From: Phoenix
Joined: 11-06-2006
Member Rating: 3.0


(2)
Message 1259 of 1285 (883783)
01-10-2021 8:06 PM


Edited by AZPaul3, : No reason given.


Factio Republicana delenda est.
I am antifa.

  
xongsmith
Member
Posts: 2023
From: massachusetts US
Joined: 01-01-2009
Member Rating: 6.3


(1)
Message 1260 of 1285 (883811)
01-13-2021 12:43 AM


worse than 2020?

i figured out how to make the picture show.

Edited by xongsmith, : added img codes


"I'd rather be an American than a Trump Supporter."

- xongsmith, 5.7d


Replies to this message:
 Message 1261 by dwise1, posted 01-13-2021 11:36 AM xongsmith has not yet responded

  
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