I would suggest getting some professional help to help you back to reality. I know religion helps you in many ways, but it can lack in dealing with persistent behavioral and mental health issues. Seeking professional help is not a weakness, it is a sign of strength. Alas, many people do not have that strength.
Facts don't lie or have an agenda. Facts are just facts
"God did it" is not an argument. It is an excuse for intellectual laziness.