Oh No, The New Awesome Primary Thread

We currently enjoy winner-take-all capitalism with ever-greater concentrations of wealth wielding their political clout to keep it that way.I'm not sure you can change that by tweaking the ballot.

I can see her now in her sanctum--brow and upper lip dewy with sweat, a thin blue vein throbbing at her temple--picturing her employees watching porn...

It's the Nookie Monster!

Well, this particular clown car of Grand Old Party piety already has Chaplain Huck, who wishes now he'd showered with the girls.Sanctorum will have to be Choirboy Rick--whose regrets for missed sensual opportunities may best go unpondered.Ew.

If Trump is a plot, Cruz is a vast conspiracy. Ted Cruz Accuses Majority Leader Mitch McConnell of LyingGiven developments, anything less than concealed carry in the Senate would be uncivilized.See who calls who a liar with some iron floating around the chamber: Kentucky 1, Texas 0!Maybe they'd all learn some manners.

#19 Apologizes for anything ever.

Give me a shot at that pony, and we'll see.

TrumpWe've long expected any fascist march in the U.S. to carry the Cross and the Flag.Now we can add the Trademark.

But he did double-down on Wisconsin as the nation's leader in cheese.I think Lindsey Graham might go next. The Red Staters are calling him a sissy, and he can't muster enough crazy to get taken seriously.Cruz looks like Robert Mitchum with subtle chromosonal aberrations, so he'll probably survive a while due to the Southern base--I'd like to see him in a top hat and moustache: "If you don't give me the Constitution, I'm gonna blow y'all to bits!" Jindal hasn't looked into a mirror for 30 years, apparently, and denial always lasts longer than one thinks it possibly could.I'd like to see more GOP women run, but watching Fiorina calmly describe the recent Planned Parent hoax video as containing true scenes of aborted fetuses squirming on the table while doctors discussed harvesting its living brain (uh, no) makes me wonder--the bar for women is always higher, and they're just aren't that many rich, intensely sociopathic women in the U.S. Her personal success story is like Trump's: "I got rich bankrupting other people. So sue me." She can't maintain prominence without Trump's insults...so maybe a shared ticket? Lots of abusive relationships are like that.Graham has always interested me. Like John McCain, he has the look of a man desperately trying to figure out how to buy back his soul. But Graham is also a professional pol, and, like Walker, he'll be calculating the future cost of hanging there without support vs. "the good of the party".By the way, I think we could buy Trump out with a Kickstarter campaign. They've recently recast themselves as a public benefit corporation, and he loves to deal, so that could work. Remember, you heard it here first So, yeah, Lindsey, exit stage right: Nothing in his hat, and nothing up his sleeve.

Yes, you must strain the curds.

There's a yoga term for that. Agree on Christie, not so sure about Shuck: he's in it mostly to keep tv and paid speech currency, so his timing is slippery.All a primary opponent has to do to Christie is run video of him hugging Obama for the prompt federal attention to NJ's storm disaster. Reality broke through for a moment, and he'll never live it down.

If you want to know just how confused and hypocritical Shuck really is, global replace "the Pope" and "Catholic" with "the Whore of Babylon" throughout that screed.

It's a right wing dog whistle.Read comment threads on Fox News stories, and you'll soon run into two tropes: Obama is stupid because he's black, and he really isn't black because he's mocha.I think Murdoch meant the latter, whether he realized just how clearly he was saying it or not.