Phat writes:
Given that God exists, and given that Jesus Christ is alive, do human believers have access to a personal internal coach? A conscience of higher developed order and accuracy than the run of the mill consciences which unbelievers are forced to rely upon? Some would argue, subjectively at best, that this is the case. I reject this theory, even though I myself experienced subjective evidence of it...
You
should reject this. In its entirety. It's absurd.
Any nonsensical concept could be substituted in here. Look:
Given that (some absurd concept) exists, do humans have access to (some other absurd concept)?
Given that Leprechauns exist, do humans have access to pots of gold at the end of rainbows?
Given that Allah exists, do martyrs have access to 72 virgins in paradise?
It's the purest nonsense, don't fool yourself.
That all being said, I don't believe that God is evil. He is at worst firm and unchanging. Humans are so far off the mark that we were intended for. ringo brought it out of me. Why is it that none of us trust God enough to give all of our surpluses away to each other until everyone has enough to eat? I have no answer except to say that I cant.
If He had existed as described in the Old Testament, He would have demanded rivers of children's blood. Don't confuse that with "firm and unchanging." And if He is unchanged from the Old Testament He is still that bloodthirsty monster, and you are defending Him.
As for the rest of your post, you've got to stop beating yourself up for being human. We aren't going to be redeemed superheroes standing to "redeem creation" at the end of time. We live and die just people. And that's okay. You have empathy for others, yet are driven to protect yourself and those closest to you genetically. You are human. You are primate. You are mammal. These are all characteristics shared by our mammal cousins all over the world.
Welcome to the real world...you can enjoy it if you want to! Just cut the stupid self-imposed guilt trip.
"...heck is a small price to pay for the truth"