The Bible on Sex, Love, and Marriage

I don't believe there is such a thing as a "soulmate".Furthermore, I think that the notion of "soulmates" and "true love" is yet another reason why marriages fail.

Happily, I know that they can exist.

Can you provide us with some evidence please.

Nope. I would have already if that was the case...

dpardo...
Pardon me, I, admittedly, wasn't very clear. What I meant was this: She married him when she was 18 and they had been dating for about 2 months. They really didn't know each other well. Both are Christians and are good people, but because they are Christians they are now too afraid to divorce each other because they don't really have a reason to. They're good people: He doesn't beat her. She doesn't cheat on him, etc. So now they feel stuck. I agree, a marriage will function if the two people really, honestly try. But that's all it will do--function. For a marriage to "work" requires a certain kind of choreographing. The two people must work in a kind of concert with each other and some people just DON'T function on the same wavelength. I love my best friend dearly, but we don't function on the same wavelength. Doesn't make it a poor friendship, but I could never share a house or an apartment with her. My husband and I, however, have this flow. We naturally work together well. The same goes with my parents and his parents.Of course, this whole problem could be avoided if kids would get to know their significant other BEFORE they have sex with them.

Hi MeganC,You wrote: I disagree with you here.I believe that such a marriage can do more than just "function" and I have a statistic to support my view.From americanvalues.org:

How long were these couples married before they became unhappy/divorced?How long did they date/court before getting married?Did they live together before getting married?Were these first marriages for each spouse?

Hehe, always a bit exausting to read and play "Ketchup" or is that catsup? On all the latest happenings. So far I think everybody who is defending the view of the Biblical Marriage has been saying the same thing...if its followed by those who honestly want to please the Lord and live according to His Will (Not of the secular World or Flesh but of Spirit) then it does work. Those Christian who follow "Skewed" Biblical teachings (as per Hangdawg13's post) and see life through the secular world are often times the most confused. They may not even have the chance to fully realize what God's expecations are for their marriage, all they see is how crazy the World is getting and how easy it is to turn in your spouse over and start seeking a new Future Ex-spouse. It is getting easier and easier to get out of marriage, if it doesn't work "ITS OKAY" that just wasn't the right one huh!? At least you tried it huh!? I live in Utah, which is divorce, bankruptcy & Prozac capitol of this fine-fine nation. I know the meaning of "Skewed" doctrine by observing what goes about in my neck of the woods! I do see repressed teens that marry while in college just so they aren't committing sins, and then a few shorts months later..their marriage is in trouble because they married for all the wrong reasons with Doctrine that was not according to the Bible. It happens..no denying that. I agree on this, and also...if your forcing your spouse to "Submit" then that really isn't submission at all. Its forced and therefore not considered the biblical view of True Submission. I do belive if people are still rapped up on their secular lives where they are ruled not by God but by money, society and keeping up with the Johnson's...then I can definately see problems here. They would live in pleasing themselves and not God, there would certainly be a conflict of interest that would interfere in their marriage (I'm talking about Christians here). If it doesn't work, hey..you can divorce and you have nobody to answer too! Who knows, you may even be applauded by friends for giving it a good try huh? God on the otherhand holds people accountable to breaking their covenant, and so if your not prepard to enter into a contractual obligation before God Almighty, its best you don't! Right on, personal sacrifice is what being a disciple is all about. Not living for what we want, but toward the Will of God. His Yolk is not heavy or burdensome, He doesn't ask us to do anything that is beyond what we can handle. At first its a "BIG CHANGE," especially if you've been a heathen like yours truly all your life. Once you cross that Bride and live according to His Will, you can look back at your life before and truly realize that His ways are really for our benefit. Again, we're seeing the same thing discussed here...do these Christians practice "Sound Doctrine!?" Is what is being taught in par with what the Bible teaches? Lots of cults and churches that don't really teach a lot from the Bible. They mainly preach "seeker-sensitive" sermons that leave the person feeling good about themselves and avoids pointing out the SIN and Shame in their life, they too are usually lost when it comes down to what Biblical Marriage is all about. How is a marriage supposed to evolve and grow if you don't work at it? Marriage is not set in stone, it is either growing stronger or growing weaker over time. I really can't see any reasoning in what you've said...I'm a bit dumbfounded by it actually..So far, people are hung up on and confused about what the Bible teaches regarding: Sex, submission, equality and divorce.
The sexual relationship is the most intimate way two people reveal their love for each other. It is not to be considered shameful, but celebrated and truly learn about God's design for our sexual relationship in marriage. In our sexual relationship, we are brought closer together in oneness with our spouse. Not just physically but emotionally in the most intimate oneness possible to us. This is God's design and purpose. That is why an open-marriage is such an eye sore, that love is to be spent with your spouse (Polygamy is a diff argument). True sexual love produces a spiritual, emotional and physical onenes that must be treasured and protected. That is why the Bible contains so many warnings concerning adultery. Why grow closer together emotionally and spiritually with a harlot, prostitute or someone else outside of your marriage? That good sexual feeling is soon short-lived and will only leave you longing for more later on...its an emptiness that multiple partners will never fulfill. God indeed desired the sexual relationship to be pleasureable, but with our Spouse. Instead we are looking at live that closer resembles the below: Here's one more for those that still have a problem grasping the submissive role when it comes down to sex. Notice that this is the direct command of scripture. Those who are fefusing sexual relations to their spouse are disobeying the clear teaching of God' Word. Paul declares the only permissible way you may stop having sexual relations for a time is by agreement with your partner. When there is a question over frequency of sexual relationships etc., the solution is found in finding a mutual agreement. The decision is not dictatedby one partner, but by finding a loving agreement through compromise. This is the way all decisionmaking should take place in marriage.Because not all sexual drives are on the same level, sometimes you just have to compromise on those things. You will learn to compromise by lovingly giving up your right because you care for your mate. Its easy to give and go against our feelings simply by choosing to love, rather than to take. Yes, the Bible has a lot on passion & romance too, but I'm not that deep in my studies as of yet, just the highlights.I'm done for tonite...*Whew*

Oops...Server Timeout!This message has been edited by asciikerr, 10-27-2004 02:03 AM

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Notice that this is the direct command of scripture.

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That verse in 1 Corinthians, is spoken by Paul not God. In the Talmud, according to the school of Hillel, which was accepted into Jewish law, a man who forbids himself from having intercourse due to taking a vow can only expect his wife to accept sexual deprivation for a week. The opposing school said two weeks.So is this truly a command from God or is it Paul adjusting basic Jewish morals for the Gentiles?

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A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

What can I say, its Scripture...God breathed!
They (according to the school of Hillel) are also Jews that live according to the letter of the Law. Christians are not bound by their law because we live in Christ and not under their laws.In short, if the spouse gets deprived for a week or two its because that is the arrangement they (husband/wife) decided upon.

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What can I say, its Scripture...God breathed!

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God breathed it to whom? The Jews or Paul?Obviously the Jews had the do-not-separate-for-a-period-of-time-without-consent plan before Paul wrote his letters. Since it wasn't something that was written in the Laws of Moses, which is supposedly God breathed, then it apparently wasn't God breathed to the Jews and yet what you're showing me is that God modified a Jewish law and supposedly had Paul pass it on to the Gentiles.

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In short, if the spouse gets deprived for a week or two its because that is the arrangement they (husband/wife) decided upon.

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Exactly!But my problem is with attributing this philosophy to God as part of his master plan as opposed to mankind's ability to learn and improve.Paul didn't present this as something from God.
IMO Paul merely adapted the Jewish tradition to the Gentiles.

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A gentle answer turns away wrath, But a harsh word stirs up anger.

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But my problem is with attributing this philosophy to God as part of his master plan as opposed to mankind's ability to learn and improve.

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His "Master" plan for us is the one that took place in Genesis before the Fall. Man & Women to come together as one, unity and all that great stuff. Then after the fall, there was polygamy, adultery, and all that Jazz. Afterward Jesus came on the scene and called man back to God's Original Plan. Modified Law? Was it modified to fit the Gentiles instead of Jews? It was modified for those who follow Christ if you really want to say it was modified. If Jews follow Christ, then I suppose it would be considered modified for them too.So aside from what the Jews had, and there were many Laws in place, this was to the Church. The church body being those that follow Christ. Do you disagree with the whole consent think in marriage?

so we are approaching time to close this thread. If anyone belives there is more to be said, they can open a continuation. I'll wait awhile for last comments before closing this one.

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How pierceful grows the hazy yon! How myrtle petaled thou! For spring hath sprung the cyclotron How high browse thou, brown cow? -- Churchy LaFemme, 1950

Anybody want to start a Thread on a related topic?