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It has been suggested that maybe Jesus and his friends started to share out their 5 loaves and 2 fish, and the wealthy in the crowd felt compelled to share out their food too, so technically the feeding of the 5000 was instigated by sharing out 5 loaves and 2 fish.
I see this as a real posibility. Socialism in action.
Insert plug for an old topic of mine -
"Communism - Godless or otherwise)"
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However, you hit the nail on the head when you say this Jesus thing is a load of tosh, this also means that the stories about him are a load of tosh, and, although I wouldn't agree with your choice of idol, there are an awful lot of people who deserve more respect than Jesus does.
I think that, even if you take an athiestic stance, you still need to consider the posibility that Jesus was a humanitarian leader of his time. Perhaps not unlike a Ghandi.
Moose