I missed so much of this thread due to internet problems at the cabin
Here's my own favourite absurdity ...
Genesis 6:6 And it repented the LORD that he had made man on the earth, and it grieved him at his heart.
This would be the all-knowing, eternal, unchanging God who didn't see this coming, changed his mind and "repented" of having done it in the first place, and then showed mood changes by grieving.
O and of course, he showed his all-merciful, loving side by wiping the whole lot out, men, women and children, in a global flood.
I think not.