But to head back towards the topic, what would you say "Scripture" is?
Scripture is----whatever tickles your ears.
You want a different slant? We have slants for all seasons.
You want verses? We have verses coming out of our--um--Bible.
No likee? We have tons of other verses.
Still not satisfied? We have interpretations.
Don`t like? We have other interpretations.
Still unhappy? We have different Bibles.
Not satisfactory? We can write another Bible for you.
Want to hate other Christians? Try our assorted hater groups.
Church turn you off? We can offer other churches, sects, splinter groups, live togethers, live aparts, even the Jim Jones non-livers.
You want music? We can offer organs or guitars or PA systems that will blow your mind.
You want singers? How about hymns, dirges, hot gospel, singalongs, sing alones, or singing in tongues.
You want animals? We do a good deal on snakes.
How about other Scriptures? We have assorted collections, additions, subtractions, scribal errors both in and out, hidden, just-located, barely-mentioned, hints of, repudiated, heretical, controversial and just plain uninspired ones that missed the cut.
You want original Scriptures? What are you, some Commy evo deviate? We have original Scriptures by the dozen. Even hundreds. Thousands, maybe. We have original Hebrew, Aramaic, Syriac, Greek, Latin, Gangastanian. We even have original English Scriptures. Written by Jesus himself. How more original can you get?
So come on in. Christians can deliver.