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Author Topic:   humor II
Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12297
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 20 of 310 (306458)
04-25-2006 9:33 AM


Kudos for Tennessee
This is funny! :rolleyes:

add by edit: Now that I read it, Im not so sure....I'll keep searching for some real humor, though!

This message has been edited by Phat, 04-25-2006 07:39 AM


Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12297
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 113 of 310 (339510)
08-12-2006 9:30 AM
Reply to: Message 112 by Dr Adequate
08-12-2006 4:49 AM


Twas a humerous poet and now we know it!
very humerous! :laugh:

I can't climb trees anymore, though! Stuck down here with the darn riff raff! And they are hungry, too! :eek:


This message is a reply to:
 Message 112 by Dr Adequate, posted 08-12-2006 4:49 AM Dr Adequate has not yet responded

Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12297
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 132 of 310 (342934)
08-24-2006 9:43 AM


time for a wee laugh
Subject: From the Manitoba Herald - Illegal Immigration Flood!
From the Manitoba Herald, Canada

The flood of American liberals sneaking across the border into Canada
Has intensified in the past week, sparking calls for increased patrols to
Stop the illegal immigration. The actions of President Bush
are prompting an exodus among left-leaning citizens who fear they'll
soon be required to hunt, pray, and agree with Bill O'Reilly.

Canadian border farmers say it's not uncommon to see dozens of sociology
professors, animal-rights activists and Unitarians crossing their fields
at night.

"I went out to milk the cows the other day, and there was a Hollywood
producer huddled in the barn," said Manitoba farmer Red Greenfield,
whose acreage borders North Dakota. The producer was cold, exhausted and
hungry. "He asked me if I could spare a latte and some free-range
chicken. When I said I didn't have any, he left. Didn't even get a
chance to show him my screenplay, eh?"

In an effort to stop the illegal aliens, Greenfield erected higher
fences,but the liberals scaled them. So he tried installing speakers
that blare Rush Limbaugh across the fields. "Not real effective," he
said. "The liberals still got through, and Rush annoyed the cows so much
they wouldn't give milk."

Officials are particularly concerned about smugglers who meet liberals
near the Canadian border, pack them into Volvo station wagons, drive
them across the border and leave them to fend for themselves. "A lot of
these people are not prepared for rugged conditions," an
Ontario border patrolman said. "I found one carload without a drop of
drinking water. "They did have a nice little Napa Valley cabernet, though."

When liberals are caught, they're sent back across the border, often
wailing loudly that they fear retribution from conservatives. Rumors
have been circulating about the Bush administration establishing
re-education camps in which liberals will be forced to drink domestic
beer and watch NASCAR races.

In recent days, liberals have turned to sometimes-ingenious ways of
crossing the border. Some have taken to posing as senior citizens on bus
trips to buy cheap Canadian prescription drugs. After catching a
half-dozen young vegans disguised in powdered wigs, Canadian immigration
authorities began stopping buses and quizzing the supposed
senior-citizen passengers on Perry Como and Rosemary Clooney hits to
prove they were alive in the '50s. "If they can't identify the
accordion player on The Lawrence Welk
Show, we get suspicious about their age," an official said.

Canadian citizens have complained that the illegal immigrants are
creating an organic-broccoli shortage and renting all the good Susan
Sarandon movies. "I feel sorry for American liberals, but the Canadian
economy just can't support them," an Ottawa resident said. "How many
art-history majors
does one country need?"

In an effort to ease tensions between the United States and Canada,
Vice President Dick Cheney met with the Canadian ambassador and pledged
that the administration would take steps to reassure liberals, a source
close to Cheney said. We're going to have some Peter, Paul & Mary
concerts. We'll give tax breaks for the construction of more Starbucks
and Birkenstock stores. And we might even put some endangered species on
postage stamps.
The President is determined to reach out," he said


Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12297
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 169 of 310 (355547)
10-10-2006 8:37 AM


Warning: May cause humor
Here are some actual and very important warning labels you need to know about just in case you weren't paying attention:

On Sears hairdryer:
Do not use while sleeping.

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
Product will be hot after heating.

On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
Do not iron clothes on body.

On Nytol sleep aid:
Warning: may cause drowsiness.

On a Korean kitchen knife:
Warning keep out of children.

On a string of Chinese-made Christmas lights:
For indoor or outdoor use only.

On Sainsbury's peanuts:
Warning: contains nuts.

On a child's Superman costume:
Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.


Replies to this message:
 Message 170 by ringo, posted 10-10-2006 1:09 PM Thugpreacha has not yet responded
 Message 174 by Dr Adequate, posted 10-11-2006 6:47 PM Thugpreacha has not yet responded

Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12297
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 184 of 310 (360311)
11-01-2006 12:20 AM
Reply to: Message 183 by anglagard
10-31-2006 11:36 PM


Re: Postmodernist Philosophy
Im gonna look this stuff up. It must be funny....otherwise im breaking MY TV! :rolleyes:
This message is a reply to:
 Message 183 by anglagard, posted 10-31-2006 11:36 PM anglagard has not yet responded

Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12297
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 255 of 310 (371969)
12-24-2006 10:13 AM
Reply to: Message 253 by Jon
12-16-2006 1:38 AM


Charismania 101
PHUNNY? :rolleyes:

Q: How many Charismatics does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five. One to handle the light bulb, four to rebuke the spirit of darkness.


This message is a reply to:
 Message 253 by Jon, posted 12-16-2006 1:38 AM Jon has responded

Replies to this message:
 Message 256 by Jon, posted 12-24-2006 12:07 PM Thugpreacha has not yet responded
 Message 257 by ringo, posted 12-24-2006 1:03 PM Thugpreacha has not yet responded
 Message 260 by nator, posted 12-27-2006 9:10 AM Thugpreacha has not yet responded

Thugpreacha
Member
Posts: 12297
From: Denver,Colorado USA
Joined: 12-30-2003
Member Rating: 1.3


Message 259 of 310 (372404)
12-27-2006 8:27 AM
Reply to: Message 258 by Omnivorous
12-26-2006 7:16 PM


Re: Lennon Grabs Bush from Grave
That is hilarious and also very well done! Perhaps the artists will save the world when the intellectual eggheads (and deciders) are unable to put 2 and 2 together!
This message is a reply to:
 Message 258 by Omnivorous, posted 12-26-2006 7:16 PM Omnivorous has not yet responded

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