Sorry if this is slightly OT, but I couldn't let this slide.
But I am not convinced that the gay suicide rate is higher, purely on the basis that they get treated differently. Most teenagers do not get treated the way they think they should, and have a hard time adjusting to growing up. Could it be that these "gay" teenagers were already screwd up more than the average teenager, and they are already at a place where they just need one more thing to go wrong?
This answer would be pertinent if, indeed, schraf had asserted that the gay teen suicide rate was high purely due to being treated differently. However, schraf's point had to do with teaching your kids that it is not OK to be gay and she implied that the suicide rate likely has alot to do with this.
Gay kids (or kids perceived to be gay by others whether or not it is true) are definitely subjected to harassment and cruelty and that by itself can indeed lead to suicidal thoughts if it is bad enough, but the fact that some of these kids' parents espouse a homophobic viewpoint at home gives many the sense that they have no one to turn to to help them and that leaves them feeling even more despondent. Doubly so if their family's entire social circle consists of people with the same views. Triply so, if the kid comes out and his/her parents beat them/kick them out/tell them they wish they were dead/etc. So, if a kid lives in an area with no social services for gay youth or if s/he has no way to access them, then the kid may feel that suicide is the only option.
I don't feel that most gay kids with parents who accept them or do not express negative feelings towards gays would feel that they had no other choice because they would know that they could talk to their parents about it and they would still love and accept them and that their home would be a haven away from the harassment outside. And that can be the line between life and death for these kids.
So, even if you feel that you could accept your child being gay, expressing homophobic views around your potentially gay kid will at best strain your relationship with him/her and at worst will cause your child to run away or hurt/kill themselves.
Believe me, I have heard and seen it all. Between my own friends and the gay kids I have mentored over the years I have heard some truly heartbreaking stories. I was the token gay kid who wasn't comtemplating suicide/had never contemplated suicide in a news special where I grew up. Out of the 30 or so kids in my gay youth group I was the only one who could honestly say they had never thought about it. And this was in an environment where there
weresocial services for kids (the group being one). Most of their parents had verbally/physically abused them and/or kicked them out. The group likely saved most of their lives.
Everytime I hear another horror story from one of my friends about how they were treated by their parents I call my mom and dad immediately and thank them for accepting me and loving me unconditionally.
As for the kids being more screwed up in the first place, many anti-gay advocates point to the higher suicide rate along with the prevalence of drug and alcohol use to "show" that it is an indication of our inherent degeneracy, when in fact it is often the result of past and current harassment, family estrangement, living on the streets due to being kicked out/running away, childhood abuse, rejection from their church (sometimes their only previous sense of identity), etc.
I would agree that some gay kids enter adolescence already thinking that they are different and already having been subjected to schoolyard harassment and abuse at home due to that, but I would love for you to try to find some evidence indicating that gays are more screwed up from the get-go. Good luck!
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