I wasn't sure if I should reply to this but I decided to voice my opinion just as you had. I respect your opinion and your belief, keep that in mind. It seems as though you take offending views to heart as attacks to you personally. So please keep an open mind and know that my views have nothing to do with you personally.
I have felt the same way. In my heart. I have felt God and a spirit within me. I have felt like He was there with me.
My mother was diagnosed with ovarian cancer when I was 17 and she died when I was 19. It was a long hard road of treatments, extreme highs and lows. I was closer to her than any other person in my life. We didn't have a very mother/son relationship but we had an excellent friendship and we felt eternally bound to each other. She taught me so much about life and love in the short time I had with her.
While she was dying in her hospital bed she grew more and more aware of God. She had always believed in "something" but never an organized religion. She was definitely a Christian, though. This changed greatly as she came to terms with her death. She began to need a higher power in many ways.
Although we were all there and I was with her every second I could be during her last few months, she needed more. She needed a life force beyond her hospital room.
I felt it too. I had been studying so much raw science during the day and then I go to the hospital and all my reason and logic immediately goes out the window. I succumb to the heartbreaking emotion every time and "receive" God in my heart. I prayed with her and all. I felt something, because I'm human.
She then died. I was 19, I was heartbroken. The more I thought about heaven and what might be, the more I was able to hold my emotions at bay. But why? Where is she? So what if she's in heaven or any other human manifestation to help with grief? She is GONE. I will never see her again.
That God in my heart was fear and pain. That is what religion is. It's a tool used to help with my fears and pains and I used it for a while. What it really does, though, is make things hurt more (for me at least). Religion is built on fear and pain. It's built on the fear of the unknown.
What I experienced is what people have been experiencing since the beginning of time -- death, the unknown, loss, grief.
So you see, I remain with my evil logic and reason, I see past my stupid human emotions and I realize what they are and embrace them. I feel sad, yes, I will never see people again after they die. I feel scared of death, of course. Death is a shitty thing.
But that is ok. I would rather be scared than lie to myself.
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