Buz, take a deep breath and go look up the posts by Cold Foreign Object from many moons ago. You're starting to sound awfully like him. I know that you won't see the similarity at first which is why I suggested taking a deep breath. Look at what he wrote and what you're writing, dispassionately.
Maybe you need to take a break from this site, get your thinking back on an even keel. I'm not saying this to have a go at you.