Okay, I don't know if this is a relevant topic for EvC, and I should probably keep it to myself; but I respect the members here, and I need some impartial advice at the moment. It is a question concerning homosexuality and the "coming out" process. (What's that? Are those groans I hear?)
I've been sexually aroused by males since I was in second grade, but I've always repressed it; I tried to make myself like girls. I never had a girlfriend, but I did become attracted to "normal" pornography for a time, and I thought I'd finally beaten my desires. This all changed when one of my best friends came out to me.
My friend told me at the beginning of our senior year, about nine months ago. It was a very relieving shock! Despite intense social pressure, I remained close to him, and eventually told him that I was gay. This process has culminated to this present day, where I feel it would be best for me to come out to everybody. I decided my parents would be a good place to start.
I told my mother about an hour ago. She didn't take it well; in fact, she took it worse than I imagined. (I should have suspected it; she
is a Sunday School teacher, after all.) I only
suggested I'm gay, but she immediately branded me as "confused" and "insecure" and cited the Bible to condemn homosexuality. When I pointed out that the Bible says plenty of strange things, she told me, with tears in her eyes, that I'm making the biggest mistake of my life. We ended the conversation when my little brother walked in the room. I love my mom, and this is a very painful time for me.
So what do you think I should do? Is it possible that she's right and I am deluding myself? Perhaps I
am confused; perhaps I'm relying too heavily on my friend and his influence; and I probably would be making a big mistake to come out and then be wrong about it! Is it possible to
learn to like girls? Or am I stupid for even thinking such a dumb thought?
Goddamn it!
Any help would be appreciated.