Hello.
I've frequented this site for quite some time. I created my account when I was
about 18 years old. I used the name Infixion, then changed it to BMG04, if I
remember correctly. I didn't post very often, for my ability to debate was wanting,
and my well of knowledge from which to draw and construct arguments, observations and
insights was shallow and dry (The irony of wearing the name 'Infixion', at the time, went
unnoticed). So, I found myself in the audience more often than not, watching some build
their arguemnts while others examine and point out its flaws.
What I found most important about my joining this site, however, was in instilling a desire
to improve my ability to reason, as well as to pursue new and exciting subjects of inquiry.
For these reasons I wanted to thank Percy and the EVC posters for placing a passion within
me to learn and improve. This urge towards perpetual improvement and self-cultivation was
reinforced in college, and expressed, although dissimilarly, by Hegel and Neitzsche as
Bildung.
I write this brief but heartfelt gratitude because I fear my life may be coming to an abrupt
end. I'm afraid that I have cancer. The primary tumor is situated at the back of my head, and
has since metastatized to the front of my face, my nose, forehead, eyes, and lip.
I believe it has also moved into my intestines, for a pain in my abdomen is exacerbating,
and increases when I eat anything. My WBC is dropping, and my strength and appetite is
deteriorating.
Doctors refuse to help me. They're adament in their beliefs. Most of us know why, but may
differ on the strength of those beliefs. Many of you have never seen nor ever will - and I
hope you never will - a doctor's face that is bright red, smirking, and betraying a mind
brimming with insidious intentions.
I'd be lying if I said I was not afraid. To look, unblinking, into an eternal abyss
where
regna il silenzio while standing at the tip of a crumbling ledge is terrifying. I'm
only 32, turning 33 in April. Solace in the recollection of lived experiences brings more
pain than promise of comfort, for the paths towards many experiences were obstructed; And not
necessarily obscure or rare experiences, but quite overlooked and taken-for-granted ones,
such as privacy, human bonding, and trustworthiness.
Lastly, and most importantly, I would like to wish the best of luck and a long life to
RAZD and Asgara, as well as any others who are stricken with cancer.
Forgive the long post, and please do not respond.
Farewell.
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