women on top

based on part of the end of the yec thread and scraf's post thereinwhat effect does a traditional upbringing (ie men as leaders) have on girls?
in this question lies not a discussion of what the proper roles for a girl might be; rather what a girl brought up in a traditional environment will think of herself in regards to professional life. will she be afraid to take a promotion because she wonders whether it's appropriate for her to have a leadership role over a man?This message has been edited by brennakimi, 10-08-2005 12:44 PMThis message has been edited by AdminJar, 10-08-2005 12:21 PMThis message has been edited by brennakimi, 10-08-2005 01:40 PMThis message has been edited by brennakimi, 10-08-2005 01:41 PMMoved here from PNT by AdminBenThis message has been edited by AdminBen, Saturday, 2005/10/08 01:08 PM

Interesting question.I was raised in a pretty traditional home where my father (a Buddhist) appeared to be the head of the household. My father was responsible for making most of the money and paying the bills. He drove, my mother (a Catholic) did not - she never learned because she was too afraid. Her main responsibility was to take care of the home, the kids, and my father. My mother never made it past about the 6th grade (she's from Mexico) and my father had some college and spent 4 years in the Air Force. After all us kids were in school, my mom starting working. Part-time at first, and then when we all got into middle school and high school, she started working full-time. She was always home to cook dinner, however.At the time, I did think my dad was the head of the household, but looking back on it now, they simply settled into roles they were most comfortable with. My mother was very happy and fulfilled with being a wife and mother. She never needed more. My parents have always been affectionate with each other and us and so I knew they were happy. Still are after 40 years of marriage. They are best friends.How did I turn out? As a kid, I was shy and insecure in school, but being a tomboy, I always enjoyed sports and science. As a family, we spent most of our time outdoors as my parents were avid hikers and campers. I also spent most of my summer vacations with my mom and her family in Mexico until high school.In my professional life, I've always gone after what I wanted and have generally succeeded in accomplishing everything I set out to do. I work in a male-dominated field and have a good professional reputation. I am not very good with dictatorial authority as I don't like anyone telling me what I can and can't do and that goes for my parents, spouse, and even supervisors. I don't have a problem asking for raises or supervising men, which I did for several years when I supervised drilling projects, and will do so again in a couple of weeks.It's possible my upbringing wasn't traditional enough, but I don't seem to have had a problem with men or leadership in my professional life.

I think we have a tendency to impose our own 'adult' notions on how kids perceive things and this can lead to some incorrect conclusions.I think the assumption that a traditional upbringing teaches a kid that men are leaders is somewhat flawed. If you think back to when you were actually a kid (ie before you were able to think about these things and reason them through) then most of the leaders in your life were probably female.When you are a kid (in a traditional household) your mother is the boss. Sure your father makes the money and goes to work but he doesn't impact your day to day life in the way your mother does.Who else are the important leaders? Well your friends moms probably dictated more about your social life and what you could and couldn't do than their fathers did.Equally, your teachers when you were young were probably female - there is a higher proportion of females in kindergarten and elementary schools after all. Again a female 'leader'When you are young and forming your ideas about society and leaders does it matter if the CEO of GE is male? Would you even know that? To a young kid I would think it would much more appear that men are the 'worker bees' bringing back the resources for the queen.

and yet that is not how men are viewed in society even though all of our children grew up with that..i see what you are saying, and i appreciate it, but it comes without support.in many families, however, dad is the disciplinarian. this makes him 'the man' or the ruler. if his word is law, then he is the leader immaterial of whom you see more often. traditional upbringing usually involves religious services. men dominate the pulpit. the pastor/rabbi/whatever is the leader of the congregation.i'm not saying it has to affect the child, it didn't me. but could it? mightn't it?

It certainly could but not necessarily so.To me anyway it seems like what actually happens is that in later life we define the roles which women have primarily taken as less important for some reason.To a baby mother is the be all and end all. It becomes less so as we get older I suppose but I just wonder if we don't end up in a circular argument of defining women's roles as inferior and then asking why women end up in inferior roles.I think I grew up in a fairly traditional household (although not religious) but perhaps there are differences between the US and the UK in this respect? I think if you asked a kid who is more important and powerful your mom or the priest they would answer 'mom' but maybe you disagree? I think its our adult minds that, understanding the importance of the role of religious leadership, start to question these things.I'm not sure at all and I'm just putting forward some thoughts. Sometimes I do feel that women are their own worst enemy in this respect as it seems to often-times be women who are denigating other women with respect to their life choices. You'd also have to consider the effect of peer-pressure in the teen years when most people start to choose some direction in life.Actually does it even matter who is in these positions of power? Is it the person or the message they deliver? Surely its entirely possible for a male to be a role model for a female and to inspire them to achievement?

*shrugs*