One perrenial question that we must deal with in this society is: How best should we serve our creator? With that in mind, in the spirit of
Lewis Frumkes, I hereby open the thread, "How Best To Serve God?"
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God Scallopini in a Sacrimental Wine Sauce
Ingredients:1 monotheistic deity
3/4 cups dried bread crumbs
1 small pillar of salt
1 tablespoon Italian herbs
1 large head escarole, coarsely chopped (harder to find than God, but needed for a proper turnout)
1 can tomatoes
3 cloves garlic
1/2 cup sacrimental wine (blessed)
1 egg
Mix bread crumbs, and herbs; mix in half of salt, head-first. Beat eggs slightly. Gently coax deity into egg mixture with a bit of roasted flesh (Lev. 1:2,9 - lamb works best). Roll deity in bread/herb mixture until thoroughly coated. Over medium heat, cook God until golden brown*.
In a separate saucepan, cook tomatoes, garlic, and wine, just long enough to boil off the alcohol content**.
Cook escarole with remaining salt in skillet, about three minutes, stirring frequently. Spoon onto a warm altar. Arrange deity in pieces on alter to resemble a cherub. Top with wine sauce. Serves 2 billion.
* - Some deities will not accept colors other than white for their appearance.
** - Note: wine may contain blood of Christ. Use gloves.
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"Illuminant light,
illuminate me."