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Author | Topic: Dating services and foreign women | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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Part of my personal angst is that I have zero luck in attracting good looking women to date. Maybe you should try men? - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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I am willing to bet that there is more than meets the eye to all of them. Hopefully it's a penis!!!
want to catch them in the act of their deception. Why don't you stop wasting your time on the internet, work out, make some friends, learn to dance, learn some jokes, get a life, hit a few bars, build some social skills, and maybe then a human girl will give you some attention. For fuck sake, it's not hard to do. Why would you waste your time giving a shit whether some spambot is real or not? I can't believe others here are encouraging it. Smile once in a while in the direction of a female, offer to buy a REAL girl a drink, tell her some jokes, talk about some books and movies, and next thing you know you'll be knuckles deep in it. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
I've had enormous success using the internet for dating. Not all of us are extroverts, after all. I've never used it myself. But friends who have used OKCupid and things like that have mainly used it for one night stands. It's an easy way to hook up for meaningless sex, and I guess cheaper than a hooker in some cases. I don't know any who have built a lasting relationship from it. Mostly because, if I were to guess, they lack actual social skills and a personality once they become themselves and let down the fake person they pretended to be on the internet.
I don't like hanging out in bars; why would I want a woman who does? Just a general point of reference. Switch bar to library, or bookstore, or coffe shop, or park, or gym, or a wine class at a community college, etc. The point was to get out there and build those skills with real live people. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Every relationship I've had for more than the past decade has started online. Not one has been a one-night stand. One of them lasted over five years. Online dating is not at all different from the traditional kind. It just lets you expose yourself and be exposed to more people. Yes, that means there are more crazies and more competition, but the distribution is the same, you're just using a larger pool. And the ability to filter results by location, age, and interest helps the process move along quite well. I'm not lacking in personality, and neither have any of the women I've dated from dating sites been without personality or social skills. Neither have they been sex-starved desperate sluts, any more than I'm a man-whore. The stigma placed on online dating is undeserved.
Let's be clear on what we're talking about. Online "dating" doesn't exist - you meet up go on a date. You're just setting it up online. Ok, that's not bad. You still have to function within the normal social settings of a date. I can see in today's busy culture, the need to make all the initial setting up of a date online. You can also narrow down the field a bit, if that's what you like to do. But foreveryoung is talking about some other shit in other countries that isn't dating at all.
My current relationship began with an online dating site, and my girlfriend is absolutely not a source of "meaningless sex," and neither is she simply "cheaper than a hooker." You took her on a normal date the first time though, right? It didn't go from the internet to moving in.
In fact, I find those characterizations of the women found on online dating sites to be extremely offensive. Interestingly enough, I was talking about mostly female comics who troll for men and use the sites for casual sex. Seems like it's the men who are the hookers for my female friends. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Long-distance relationships can work too, you know. It's just more difficult and takes extra commitment. Long distance relationship is a far cry from foreveryoung setting up a profile on some foreign site trolling for who knows what.
And admittedly, some dating sites make "hookups" extremely easy, and some even cater specifically to that. My only issue is when that subset of online dating is used to generalize all of online dating. Most of it is a lot more like regular dating than people seem to think. Well, then, it's just regular dating. Like I said, the initial set up is online but everything after that is normal shit. That's what I'm trying to say to foreveryoung. Just do normal shit. But he's wasting time trying to figure out who is or isn't a spambot - when he should just get out there and hangout where females are at. - Oni Edited by onifre, : No reason given.
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
The single thing that had the biggest effect was getting the guy to sit at a table outside a cafe and telling him to smile gently at passing women - and if they hold eye contact to say "Hello". That was all: just smile and maybe say "Hello". It made an astonishing difference. It's just a very effective way to put someone at ease. I use that on stage, when I first go on a simple smile, some eye contact with people in the front row, and a "hello, how are you guys doing" makes the audience warm up to you quickly. I've watched comics crash and burn by simply not doing that very first thing. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Dr. A writes: Dancing is a fine art now? I know it isn't when I do it.
foreveryoung writes: Fine ArtsComplete one of the following: ARTH 2010 Art History Survey I (3 cr.)ARTH 2020 Art History Survey II (3 cr.) DANC 3500 Dance as Human Experience (3 cr.) HUMT 2310 Arts and Ideas I (3 cr.) HUMT 2320 Arts and Ideas II (3 cr.) MUSC 1030 Introduction to Music (3 cr.) MUSC 1035 History of Jazz (3 cr.) THEA 1030 Introduction to the Theatre (3 cr.) I think one of your main problems with social skills is you lack a sense of humor, dude. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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I am mainly taking about onifre, Dr Adequate and Theodoric. I don't hate you, dude. When you send me these private messages I just find it funny that you take this so serious, so I fuck with you. It has I guess given you the wrong impression. Mostly because you lack a sense of humor. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
I know I don't have a sense of humor. My roommate recently threw a party for me as I was going out of town for two weeks. She knows that I have ZERO social skills and it was an effort to help me improve. She took several pictures at the party and everyone managed to be able to smile for the camera except for ME. I mean I tried as hard as I could and even when I tried to force a smile, it still showed up as a frown on the picture. My lack of a sense of humor and my desire to have one is one of the reasons for my recurrent depression states. I try positive thinking when negative thoughts enter, but I guess it takes a long time to convince your brain that it is thinking inaccurately about reality. One person said the main thing that is keeping from having a sense of humor is my lack of the ability to say "I don't give a shit", and really mean it. The only time when I am able to say that phrase is when I have had a few drinks. I recognize that is a dangerous place to be in and so I don't take the easy way out on that problem. I take everything very personally and even take things that were never meant to insult personally. It's enough to make you want to slit your wrists, but I haven't because I still hold out hope. Have you tried drugs? Judging by how stiff you are around people I imagine you haven't. You should try doing some mushrooms, or maybe try some MDMA. Go on a mental trip. Evolve your brain, dude. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined:
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Are you serious???? Yes... Do some shrooms and get lost in a Pink Floyd album...expand your mind. There's more to life than the reality you're experiencing right now. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
For example, about a year after my first dance cruise, I got a call from one of the women who said she had broke up with her boyfriend that she was on the cruise with and was wanting to get back into dancing west coast swing but needed lessons, so could I please go to her place to teach her. This reminds me of a classic Costanza moment on Seinfeld:
"Coffee's not "coffee" coffee is SEX!" - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Eh, I think fey would have a much better time trying Salvia. Yeah, that would be nice too. But first baby steps with a low dose of shrooms. I also think he would benefit from pure MDMA to help him enjoy parties better. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
Do not recommend a guy with depression and anxiety that he do psychedelic drugs like Psilocybe containing shroms or shitty dissociatives like Salvia Divinorum. A low dose of shrooms should be fine, but I'm not an expert on the effects of it with regards to depression. But I do absolutely agree that MDMA would help him out dramatically. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
I only know Steve Harvey as the host of family feud, and he is hilarious IMO. He's a jaded asshole who is now on Family Fued because no one can work with him in any other capacity. He was a funny comic once. But after Kings of Comedy and everyone elses success he broke ties with those guys and became a total dick to all his friends. - Oni
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onifre Member (Idle past 2981 days) Posts: 4854 From: Dark Side of the Moon Joined: |
I was thinking of sending a message from her flat when i get there but i dont think it would be a good idea that she knew i was talking about her on a public forum. I will let her know about the incredible amount of distrust people have for foreign women on these sites. I already told her she is the last time i am taking a chance since i already got burnt on this first lady who promised to come but never did. You'll be fine. Nothing weird about what you're doing at all. - Oni Edited by onifre, : No reason given.
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