Its obvious from the symptoms you describe that you had an attack of acute Modulitis of the tumtum. The direct cause is still a mystery, but there is strong correlation with reading certain types of forum posts. The preferred treatment is to avoid all posts recommending quackery and alternative medicine. The 'Idiopathic' diagnosis results when the doctors caucus and decide: "We have to tell this idiot something or he won't want to pay the bill."
Its really a joy to see you back on your feet and in good spirits. You were missed.
Regards, AnInGe