Kader writes:
At what moment did you believe (and why)?
For me, it was quite sudden.
I had always been a Christian. My parents, and all my family, are very strong believers, going to church around 2-3 times a week and giving thanks for every meal. I had, even in my early teens, some doubts, but I stayed faithful for three reasons (though in hindsight they aren't that good):
1. If so many people around the world are Christians, there must be some truth to it.
2. Pascal's Wager (I had considered this myself, without hearing it or reading about it anywhere until much later) and the goodness of the Bible (morality etc).
3. A strong feeling I had that there must be something more than this life.
I had always been taught science, and was always considered one of the smart kids. Though I have argued for young-earth creationism, that was before I learnt (and understood) the theory of evolution. My intelligence was what I considered to be my greatest asset, as I was never terribly sporty or confident. This would play a part in my conversion, but I'll get to that later.
My conversion all happened when I was about 15. I read through a
New Scientist article on the neuroscience and evolution of faith. That effectively challenged my third reason for believing - if it was a natural phenomenon, then it could be subject to disease, genetics etc. God wasn't directly in control.
After considering this for a period of a few days (yes, I read that article not two days before a church convention, so I had four days of listening to the preachings with, for the first time, no straight-out faith that it was true), I came to the realisation that this could just be the mind playing tricks on me. This realisation was sudden - I once likened it to the revelations of truth that we heard about in church. Once I acknowledged this possibility, it was all downhill from there.
Over the following year, I read about the neuroscience of morality, theology (arguments for and against the existence of God), evolutionary biology etc. This reading challenged my reason 1, and effectively killed reason 2. So, I was left an agnostic, who now thought evolution was the explanation for life AND religion.
However, my next step was telling my parents and friends. Now, revealing ,my agnosticism (which to most, is just the same as atheism) was generally met with incredulity and, in the case of my parents, sadness. But that wasn't the worst of it.
You see, by this stage I was up to the age when I was to choose what to do with my life - what to study after high school. I intended to study neuroscience, but after hearing so many of my arguments resting on what the brain is capable of, my parents were quite upset at this choice. In fact, they practically forced me to consider other options.
This is where the intelligence part comes in. I was told, again and again, that 'man's wisdom is of the flesh' and other silly things like that. I was reminded of Bertie Russell's quote :"So far as I can remember, there is not one word in the Gospels in praise of intelligence."
Now this sort of thing pushed me over the edge into the realm of atheism. I simply realised that this belief system was trying to save its own skin by forbidding anyone from thinking about it too hard. I couldn't stand for that. I was not going to give up my intelligence, and go become a farmer or something (actually, my parents wanted me to be an optometrist), simply because cognitive neuroscience takes one a little too close to some forbidden knowledge. So, I essentially acknowledged that Christianity was certainly wrong. Once I did that, it wasn't hard to consider all religions to be wrong too, although to this day I remain sensibly agnostic against the core of most non-Abrahamic religions (though I am firmly skeptical of any claims of mysticism or supernaturalism).
Kader writes:
Since then did you ever doubted that you might be wrong?
Of course. In fact, I doubt myself on purpose. One must challenge oneself repeatedly, to ensure that the beliefs you hold are compatible and logical.
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