While traveling around the South in the "60s, I - a Northern boy - was fascinated to find that all the gas station rest rooms had condom dispensers, and learned that these were mandated by law in a campaign to lower the incidence of sexually transmitted diseases. For the life of me, I could never understand why all these Southern state legislatures would think that you could eliminate venereal disease by placing empty condom dispensers in rest rooms. (Yes, they were always empty.)
I guess it's the engineer in me, but this led me to think that there might be a good technological solution to Mr. Allen's dilemma: Sex-favors dispensers placed in all public rest rooms! These would have two compartments - an inny and an outty depending on your personal predilection and taste. Using modern display technology, you could choose from a bank of buttons to select an image of your favorite movie star, sportsman, or politician to display in the proper pose with the 'mechanism'. I'm guessing that button A7, which calls up an image of GWB bent over, would quickly get worn to the nub. I'm no bible expert, but I believe that having sex with a coin operated, video assisted, pneumatic-hydraulic contrivance is not listed as an abomination in the eyes of the lord (if you don't let your seed fall upon the ground). Proceeds from these machines would be turned over to the local police departments so that they could hire some personnel to do real police work, like find murderers and rapists (and people who DO let their seed fall upon the ground).
Damn! Where's a venture capitalist when you need one?
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