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Author | Topic: Defining Unconditional love | |||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
I believe that the Jesus' story shows the criteria of unconditional love> For example, there is no greater love than to lay down your life for a friend, love thine enemies, forgive them for they know not what they do and more.
The practising of unconditional love can been a burden and wonder if it is at all possible to truly love unconditionally, taking the word as literally meaning : without condition? This translates into being without judgment and putting the recipients well being and feelings first at all times. Can unconditional love be defined in any other way?
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
I see unconditional love as dangerous. The outcome cannot be predicted.
Edited by dameeva, : No reason given.
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
I thought he was talking about the 'definition' of unconditional love? We all have different ideas on what it actually is and I know mine is radical. However, mine is a reasoned perception of unconditional love and worth considering, even if it doesn't agree with yours.
I am interested in the diversity of definitions, as I believe is Heinrik, although I dare say he will speak for himself. I think it is dangerous because the outcome or the effect on self and others cannot be predicted.
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
Are speaking from the reciever's point of view? I think you may be describing how it would [or should] feel to be loved unconditionally?
I understand your reasoning of why a lover would leave if not loved unconditionally, but is the lover returning the unconditional love? Wouldn't it be reasonable to expect to be loved unconditionally in return?
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
In theory I agree with you but in reality it doesn't work like that. "Bad" people are not loved unconditionally. I don't know about god but many don't feel loved unconditionally by the god they believe in, as you seem to indicate. You may believe you are deserving and I think you are too. However, many feel undeserving and many think others are undeserving.
Does unconditional love contain no pain and no suffering? Isn't it part of the true nature of unconditional love to hurt sometimes in either the giving or recieving?
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
I agree with the definition you give in this example of loving a friend unconditionally, no matter what. However, what if the 'no matter what' was hurting you? Would you still be able to help and support your friend, as this definition of unconditional love would require you to do so?
I tried for a long time with a partner. I forgave and understood but after 26yrs, I could not do it any longer. I didn't blame my partner and my partner no way wanted me to leave. Neither did I, but it was destroying me. I had to walk to save myself. This is why I believe loving another unconditionally can be a burden. Do I still love this person unconditionally? Obviously not. I don't want this person in my life again without a radical change in their behaviour. Sorry but true. I wonder if Jesus did love unconditionally no matter what? Did he 'not accept' some and 'accepted' others? He hand picked his immediate followers, all male may I add. Doesn't unconditional love contain equality and no favouritism? Just a thought.
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
jesus, your post reads like a horror story. How many believers in god actually did sacrifce their children in god's name? In loving god unconditionally pain was definately present. More for some.
Taz, I understand the opposite of unconditional love as you describe. It's a bit over the top, isn't it? I wasn't alluding to so much pain, just the normal associated with giving unconditional love in todays society. So now we know what it is not, can you tell us what it is?
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
The whole point is in defining 'unconditional love'. Everyone has different ideas on what it is and implement it accordingly. Abuse in any way, shape or form is not unconditional love. So yes, if non-believers are condemned to eternal hell, then that is not unconditional love. It's fear-mongering in my book. "Not very nice, god, is it?"
So if the biblical 'god' doesn't practise unconditional love, how else can we know what it is? This is the purpose of this topic. We cannot turn to the bible for guidance. We need to look at our lives and the present reality of how the horror stories in the bible are being repeated because of this one major misinterpretation. Unconditional love. We all want it but we don't know what it is.
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
Thankyou for your obviously well thought out response. It is very informative and it's certainly taken me a while to digest it. Myself, I am a man of fewer words, so I hope you won't be offended by a shorter reply.
I believe the love you are describing is conditional love. QUOTE :[I don't think you have to stop loving a person even when they wrong you. In Christian terms, you would still care for that person, be in prayer for that person, and wish them the best.] How does this help or support the abuser? What is the point in loving someone this way other than to feel good about yourself? If that's the truth then no problem. The only definition I can find in your post on unconditional love is : QUOTE :[The unconditional love means treating people the way you would have them treat you.] In my experience this doesn't work either. I practised this definition of unconditional love for 26yrs. I forgave and forgave for this is how I wished to be treated. I wanted forgiveness for my sins. None of us are perfect, are we? The forgiveness did not come back. My sins were used against me and I forgave that too. In truth, neither of us loved each other unconditionally. How could we? We did not understand each other. It seems difficult for most people to accept that the love we experience is conditional love. We even love ourselves this way. It is what it is. Why deny it? I believe once we know this and accept it as true, then we will find the true definition of UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
If you know it when you see it, then you must know what it is. It must be recognisable as a feeling or as fulfilling some criteria. Knowing what it ain't is a good step towards it but what does it leave when you remove all that it is not.
If you can show me a love without condition or judgment, I'll eat my hat. I don't know of your life experiences, Taz, but I don't think I know the difference betwwen indecency and pornography. Perhaps I've lived a sheltered life.
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
Unconditional love clearly is subjective and without clearly defined parameters. It seems subjective to every single person who gives or recieves it. I believe it is too important an aspect of life to leave it as such.
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
Quote: [ he's not talking about blindly following a leader. ]
Isn't that what Jesus' followers did and still do? This is associated with love and maybe unconditional love on Jesus' part. How many love Jesus just because they feel he loves them?
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
Dameeva, I have only just seen your idea on unconditional love. I believe everything has possible different outcomes to those expected. Unconditional love may be no exception.
You say it can be dangerous and unpredictable. Have you examples of adverse effects of the giving or receiving of unconditional love? Has anyone else suffered or experienced adverse effects of unconditional love ?
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
I think you don't love me unconditionally when you point out my mistakes in public but I still love you unconditionally even though I could have been embarrassed or had my intellect injured or my self-esteem battered. Luckily I'm a bit more solid than that and I thank you for teaching me how to spell even though it was a typo.
Seriously, Yes, I would like an objective definition of unconditional love. One that doesn't involve God or Jesus but from reeal life experience.
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pelican Member (Idle past 5015 days) Posts: 781 From: australia Joined: |
If hell was prepared for the devil and his angels, who are they? Do they know who they are? Do they know god's plan for them? I assume they are in human form, else the discussion would be redundant.
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