just too much of it.
May I suggest a change of title to something like: "A personal morality"
The issue of morality seems to be central to your OP (opening post) so I suggest you get rid of about half of the post you have here and get to the point a lot quicker.
Since lots of people will point out to you that evolutionary science, by itself, has nothing to do with your personal morality I don't see why you need to bring it up at all.
You can just bring up the athiest/believer struggle you have been through as a back ground to your concerns about moral issues. Is that ok?
Since I'm taking the trouble to deal with this I'm going to cheat and toss in a personal opinion.
We are told, over and over, by many believers that without a belief in a God we atheists will run amok as you describe. Since I know lots of atheists who don't run amok what I learn from this is that there are many believers who have no conscience of their own unlike the more moral atheists.
Maybe if you are one of those who has no conscience but needs to be scared into behaving you should stop questioning what belief you have left and just stay where you are.
Since this isn't ( I don't think) a question about evolution at all it shouldn't go in the science fora. Maybe it is just a coffee shop discussion or do you think there is somewhere else for it to go?