|
Register | Sign In |
|
QuickSearch
Thread ▼ Details |
|
|
Author | Topic: Humor IV | |||||||||||||||||||
Taz Member (Idle past 3321 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
I've been saying for years that the only thing I can do about gay haters is waiting for them to die of old age. At least one of them bastards have died.
File Not Found
|
|||||||||||||||||||
cavediver Member (Idle past 3673 days) Posts: 4129 From: UK Joined: |
WEYRICH: Here is the real problem. It has been known for many years that Congressman Foley was a homosexual. Homosexuals tend to be preoccupied with sex. The idea that he should be continued -- or should have been continued as chairman of the Committee on Missing and Exploited Children is, you know, given their knowledge of that, is just outrageous. NORRIS: Now before we go on, I think I can say, Mr. Weyrich, that there are quite a few people who would take exception to the statement that homosexuals are preoccupied with sex. WEYRICH: Well, I don't care whether they take exception to it. It happens to be true. I mean -- NORRIS: That is your opinion. WEYRICH: Well, it's not my opinion. It's the opinion of many psychologists and psychiatrists who have to deal with them. " The homophobia is pathetic, but the stupidity is astounding This is the childish level of homophobic argumentation I expect at EvC. I would like to think that retards like this wouldn't survive two minutes under the UK press (obviously excepting the Daily Mail...)
|
|||||||||||||||||||
Agobot Member (Idle past 5559 days) Posts: 786 Joined: |
Two voyeurs meet and one of them asks:
-What are we going to do tonight?- We'll see. . Global warming is real: ImageShack - Best place for all of your image hosting and image sharing needs Edited by Agobot, : No reason given.
|
|||||||||||||||||||
Shield Member (Idle past 2892 days) Posts: 482 Joined: |
A trichinosis larva and a botfly maggot walk into a bar. The botfly maggot turns to the trichinosis larva and says "hey buddy, I heard you like pork." The trichonosis larva looks the the botfly maggot right in the spiracles and says "indeed, I encyst upon it."
An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third orders a quarter of a beer. Before the next one can order, the bartender says, "You're all assholes," and pours two beers. A neutron walks into a bar. He orders a few drinks and passes the night away. When he's ready to leave he asks the bartender how much he owed, and the bartender said "For you, no charge". A chemist, a physicist and a biologist are walking along the beach. The physicist stops, looks out at the ocean and says "I just have to understand the motion of the waves better" and walks into the sea and never returns. The biologist looks out to the sea and says "I just have to understand the sea creatures better" and walks out into the ocean and never returns. The chemist pulls out a notebook and writes "Physicist and biologist both soluble."
|
|||||||||||||||||||
DevilsAdvocate Member (Idle past 3131 days) Posts: 1548 Joined: |
I was bored today and looking through youtube and ran across this absolutely hillarious video that I think every Christian should watch. It shows the ridiculousness of this religion. I was ROTFL through the entire thing. Hope you get a chuckle:
An Atheist Meets God And here is another video by Edward Current that puts intelligent design into it's correct perspective:
God's Cool Designs Edited by DevilsAdvocate, : No reason given. Edited by DevilsAdvocate, : No reason given. Edited by DevilsAdvocate, : Added YouTube Videos For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. Dr. Carl Sagan
|
|||||||||||||||||||
dwise1 Member Posts: 5952 Joined: Member Rating: 5.2 |
In re your first link, about a year ago I stumbled upon an atheist site that had a short story. Sorry I don't have a link nor remember a name, though I seem to recall it to be a European site (but don't hold me to that).
In that story, a Christian missionary stumbles upon a village of atheists who had never ever before heard of God or of religion or of Christianity. And they were all eager to hear what this missionary had to say. Listening to every word he said, they had to stop and ask him questions when something didn't make any sense. Which turned out to quite often, because so much of the missionary's message (all of it just standard Christian proselytizing) was counter-intuitive, contrary to fact, and self-contradictory. Finally, the missionary had to flee the village out of frustration, despite the villagers' sincere wish to hear and understand his message. Maybe not a story you could share with the mess, but a good one for Christian proselytizers to disabuse them of the delusion that we're just obstinately resisting them; no, their message quite honestly makes no sense to us.
|
|||||||||||||||||||
elianna  Suspended Member (Idle past 5587 days) Posts: 4 Joined: |
Shrewd Investment
A woman walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer tells her that the bank will need some kind of security for such a loan, so the woman hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce that's parked on the street in front of the bank. Everything checks out, and the bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. An employee drives the Rolls Royce into the bank's underground garage and parks it there. Two weeks later, the woman returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $15.41. The loan officer approaches her and says: "We are very happy to have had your business, and this transaction has worked out very nicely, but we're a little puzzled. While you were away, we checked out your accounts and found that you were a multimillionaire. What puzzles us is why would you bother to borrow $5,000?" "Well, where else in Manhattan can I park my car for two weeks for fifteen bucks?"
|
|||||||||||||||||||
elianna  Suspended Member (Idle past 5587 days) Posts: 4 Joined: |
Giving Cats Pills
INSTRUCTIONS FOR GIVING YOUR CAT A PILL 1. Pick cat up and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. Take new pill from foil wrap, cradle cat in left arm holding rear paws tightly with lef hand. Force jaws open and push pill to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of 10. 4. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse from garden. Edited by Adminnemooseus, : Aint telling.
|
|||||||||||||||||||
Minnemooseus Member Posts: 3945 From: Duluth, Minnesota, U.S. (West end of Lake Superior) Joined: Member Rating: 10.0 |
Received via e-mail from a friend -
quote: Moose Edited by Minnemooseus, : Fix subtitle. Professor, geology, Whatsamatta U Evolution - Changes in the environment, caused by the interactions of the components of the environment. "Do not meddle in the affairs of cats, for they are subtle and will piss on your computer." - Bruce Graham "The modern conservative is engaged in one of man's oldest exercises in moral philosophy; that is, the search for a superior moral justification for selfishness." - John Kenneth Galbraith "As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron." - H.L. Mencken (1880-1956) "Nixon was a professional politician, and I despised everything he stood for ” but if he were running for president this year against the evil Bush-Cheney gang, I would happily vote for him." - Hunter S. Thompson "I know a little about a lot of things, and a lot about a few things, but I'm highly ignorant about everything." - Moose
|
|||||||||||||||||||
RAZD Member (Idle past 1435 days) Posts: 20714 From: the other end of the sidewalk Joined: |
Just ran across this and thought it was hilarious:
Palaeos: Page not found This is a serious site with a large data-base of cladistic relations between species.
quote: Enjoy. by our ability to understand Rebel American Zen Deist ... to learn ... to think ... to live ... to laugh ... to share. • • • Join the effort to solve medical problems, AIDS/HIV, Cancer and more with Team EvC! (click) • • •
|
|||||||||||||||||||
Coragyps Member (Idle past 764 days) Posts: 5553 From: Snyder, Texas, USA Joined: |
Palaeos is GREAT! And they have quite a bit of wit tucked away in all kinds of odd spots, too.
|
|||||||||||||||||||
kjsimons Member Posts: 822 From: Orlando,FL Joined: Member Rating: 5.3 |
I was watching a webpod of The Atheist Experience when the host, Matt Dillahunty mentioned a video of Tim Minchin reciting his poem "Storm". It's a send up of anti-science people and imho it's very good. The video appears to have disappeared but I do have a link to the lyrics, enjoy!
Storm by Tim Minchin
|
|||||||||||||||||||
Lithodid-Man Member (Idle past 2960 days) Posts: 504 From: Juneau, Alaska, USA Joined: |
According to presidential historian Davis Logsdon of the University of Minnesota, some Americans might find it "alienating" to have a President who speaks English as if it were his first language. "Every time Obama opens his mouth, his subjects and verbs are in agreement," says Mr. Logsdon. "If he keeps it up, he is running the risk of sounding like an elitist." The historian said that if Mr. Obama insists on using complete sentences in his speeches, the public may find itself saying, "Okay, subject, predicate, subject predicate - we get it, stop showing off." The President-elect's stubborn insistence on using complete sentences has already attracted a rebuke from one of his harshest critics, Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska. "Talking with complete sentences there and also too talking in a way that ordinary Americans like Joe the Plumber and Tito the Builder can't really do there, I think needing to do that isn't tapping into what Americans are needing also," she said. LOL! Reminds of the narrator from Idiocracy:"Unaware of what year it was, Joe wandered the streets desperate for help. But the English language had deteriorated into a hybrid of hillbilly, valleygirl, inner-city slang and various grunts. Joe was able to understand them, but when he spoke in an ordinary voice he sounded pompous and faggy to them" Doctor Bashir: "Of all the stories you told me, which were true and which weren't?" Elim Garak: "My dear Doctor, they're all true" Doctor Bashir: "Even the lies?" Elim Garak: "Especially the lies"
|
|||||||||||||||||||
Taz Member (Idle past 3321 days) Posts: 5069 From: Zerus Joined: |
|
|||||||||||||||||||
DevilsAdvocate Member (Idle past 3131 days) Posts: 1548 Joined: |
Good one Taz! Funny but true.
Now That's Funny - I don't Care Who You Are. Creationists here's your sign, I mean flow chart! For me, it is far better to grasp the Universe as it really is than to persist in delusion, however satisfying and reassuring. Dr. Carl Sagan
|
|
|
Do Nothing Button
Copyright 2001-2023 by EvC Forum, All Rights Reserved
Version 4.2
Innovative software from Qwixotic © 2024